Unbound Heart
by TM10
Summary: Can a person gain closure and forget the past? Is forgiveness possible?  Before Adrian and Natalie can prepare for their future, they must first battle the past.
1. Chapter 1

Unbound Heart

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: This story begins the day after 'Life continues…' A lot of what happens will refer back, so if you haven't read it, please do. Otherwise, to offer a brief recap: Adrian and Natalie are now settling into a comfortable relationship, Sharona is visiting from Jersey and Randy is still in SF. ~Remember, in my world, 'The End' never happened. Also, referring back to the closing paragraph of 'Life Continues…', Natalie's condition is known only to you, dear reader- so, Ssh, don't tell anyone- she'll figure it out soon enough!

A pre-story warning- The initial intent for this story was to have Adrian solve Trudy's murder (though to be honest, I've always been more interested in Adrian's healing and not in closing Trudy's case). Anyway, other unplanned and unforeseen themes emerged instead. As a result, this story will be darker than expected, will deal with physiological issues, and will (egad!) have adventure and action (both good and bad, LOL)!

Grateful thanks to Alex 455 and SpaceCadet47 for the PMs.

A Special Thank You to Monkwriter for, you know …Everything! ;)

* * *

Chapter 1 Freedom

Patiently standing across from the wire-enclosed property clerk's counter, he quietly mumbled to himself, "Today is a beautiful day." However, his grim, brown eyes could not see outside and so was unaware of the clear sky and the warm sun that would soon greet him. No, the fair weather outside had nothing to do with his rejoicing. There could have been a barrage of hail-stones and mud-slides, followed by biblical fires and earthquakes and he still would have been overjoyed with what lay outside.

Understandably, it was the imminent change of scenery that inspired his happiness; from barbed-wire and grey concrete walls to unfettered freedom. He smirked as the guard had him sign for his possessions, carefully checking each item off the list: a belt, a watch, a handful of coins, his wallet and fifteen dollars cash. A truly paltry stash for someone who had owned homes all over the world and who once wielded an ungodly amount of power over hundreds of souls. Of course he still retained vast hidden resources; bank accounts hidden under various aliases, houses and businesses held in other names. He would just need a little time to access his assets. When the guard slid the cash across the counter, his eyes unexpectedly lit up. He offered the guard a benevolent smile and then he looked down and thoughtfully counted the fifteen dollars.

Fifteen; that was his original prison sentence handed down nearly three years ago. But thanks to California's inability to keep up with the rising crime rate, his 'minor' white-collar crime of fraud made the state consider him 'less dangerous' than a poor drug addict or petty thief. Thank God for the 'Three Strike' Rule. How ironic. Although he had hurt an untold number of people, he was given early parole to make room for an addict who only hurt himself. Now he was about to leave the penitentiary and reclaim his life and liberty. But most important, he would finally enact his revenge against the man who caused his downfall and robbed him of his family. It was truly a beautiful day.

* * *

Randy looked at the clock across the squad room, wanting to remember this moment forever. It was 8:05, Monday morning, and he was about to set into motion one of the biggest decision in his life. The lieutenant stood and strode over to the Captain's open office door. With a quick rap on the door jam, he waited.

"Come on in Randy." The Captain sorted several files on his desk and didn't bother to look up.

"Captain? Hey, can I talk to you?" He realized he was holding his breath and made himself release it.

Leland looked up briefly and beckoned Randy to take a seat. "Sure thing, Lieutenant. What's up?"

Randy could tell the Captain didn't have a clue as to what he was about to say and so tried to work up his nerve to broach the subject. He took a seat and tapped his fingers on the arms of the chair. "Hey, our triple date yesterday was pretty cool, wasn't it? Made me realized how cool it would be to live near New York and see things like Broadway shows. You know, to go into the City whenever?"

"Yes Randall, our triple date was cool, Broadway is cool, and New York is cool. Now, what did you want to talk about?" The Captain sighed and began to shuffle his papers again.

Randy cleared his throat and shifted in the chair. "Here's the thing. Last night Sharona and I were talking and I was thinking that, when she goes back to New Jersey, I, umh, I want to take my vacation and go with her."

"_To New Jersey_? You want to take your vacation_ there_?" The Captain scoffed as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yes sir. New Jersey is a great place! It's the 'Garden State', you know. They have beaches and mountains and a great music scene and everything!" Randy protested.

"Randy, they have oil refineries, the Jersey Devil, and, most troubling, the _Gateway to Hell_. The unofficial state slogan of Jersey is- 'Where the Weak are Killed and Eaten!'"

"Yeah, so what? That's only to scare away tourists. They don't like tourists. Anyway, I'm going." Randy adamantly insisted as he stood up. He turned and took a step towards the door but then quickly turned back to Leland. "Captain I want you to know that, when I'm out there, I'm going to be putting in some applications at some of the municipal police stations."

Leland looked up in shock as his hand crumpled the file he held. "Randy! Are you telling me you're quitting?"

"No sir, I'm not 'quitting', but Sharona and I are getting pretty serious and, if I can get a job in Jersey, well, I'm going to move East." Randy flashed a huge grin. "Actually we've been talking marriage."

"Damn, Randy, congratulations." The Captain stammered and stood as he offered his outstretched hand. "I'm sure going to miss you, son. I know it won't take too long before some town hires you. They'll be lucky to have you."

Randy shook Leland's hand, relieved to have finally revealed his plan to move on. "Thank you, sir. I've really loved working here and have learned a lot and will miss everybody."

The Captain laughed and swatted Randy with a case file. "Well Randy, you have a few more days working here so take this file and go do some policing."

Randy returned to his desk and, before he had had a chance to sit down, heard Leland bellow his name. He quickly returned to the open doorway. "Was there something else, Captain?"

"Yes, sorry to have yelled. Please give Monk a call. Something weird happened at the penitentiary and the warden called this morning, asking if Monk could go up there tomorrow." Leland leaned forward in his chair and laid his arms on his desk.

"What happened sir?" Randy leaned against the door jam.

"Well, last week an inmate named Spyder Rudner was killed. No big surprise there, I mean, he was a really bad guy. But what's weird is that yesterday an inmate came forward and told the warden that Rudner had wanted to contact Monk. Rudner supposedly had an important, life-or-death message for his former cell mate. You remember, they met about seven years ago when Adrian went undercover at the pen to solve another case. The library- lady case? Anyway, the correction officers had boxed Rudner's personal effects up last week and didn't find anything unusual. The warden wants Monk to talk with this other con and look at the effects in hopes of figuring out why Spyder Rudner was murdered."

"But the warden wants Monk up there tomorrow, not today?" Randy came into the office and laced his hands together.

"Right, there are no visitations allowed today. Why?" Leland sighed, expecting some weird 'Randy Theory' on who killed Spyder.

"Well, you said he needs to go _tomorrow_. I was thinking that it's only 8 am. I know Monk is usually up this early but after yesterday, he might not, you know, be awake or, _umh_, be home?" Randy furrowed his brow and shifted his shoulder in a very Monk-like way.

Leland smirked as he looked at Randy, his consideration for Monk obvious. "Your right Randy, the phone call can wait till later. There's no rush. The investigation into Rudner's death isn't priority and besides, Monk doesn't have to go to the penitentiary until tomorrow.

* * *

He strode across the barren parking lot, breathing the fresh air. As promised, a limousine sat idling outside the penitentiary, waiting to whisk him away. For some unknown reason, a mysterious stranger had recently contacted him and volunteered to help punish the man who ruined his life. Oh, it was a happy occurrence to find another person who also sought vengeance against the detective. A soul mate, if you will. Anxious to meet this new friend and compare plans, he chuckled as the phrase 'double the fun' came to mind. The chauffeur opened the door and waited, eyes averted. The smirk fell from the newly released ex-con's lips and his brown eyes hardened as he looked one last time at the grey fortress. Three years of his life had been taken from him. A stern look became etched on his face; he vowed to make his enemy pay dearly.

* * *

The bright morning light streamed through the sheer curtains, bringing his from his deep slumber. Adrian turned his face from the window and, after finding Natalie's side of the bed empty, groggily looked at the clock on the nightstand. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, because surely it couldn't be 9:45 in the morning. And yet it was. Miraculously, his internal alarm clock had been silenced and he had slept in. He gave a quiet chuckle, delighted at having this 'normal' experience. He then noticed a note next to the clock on the nightstand.

_~Morning Sleepyhead!_

_You can find some clean clothes, toiletries and a bath towel on the chair by the _

_door. Meet me downstairs after you're all cleaned up! (But don't take all day!)_

_Love, Nat_

Adrian rose from the bed and went and to collect all the supplies Natalie had thoughtfully gathered together, but froze when his hand touched the doorknob. There was no way he could walk across the hallway to the bathroom like he was, or rather, _wasn't -_ dressed. Last night he had positively conquered his fear of Natalie being undressed, but he still was not completely comfortable in his own skin. He dropped everything and wrapped the towel around his waist. That was definitely better. Adrian opened the door a crack and peaked out. The coast was clear. He picked up his supplies and made a dash for the bathroom, determined to complete all necessary tasks in a reasonable amount of time.

In less than an hour, Adrian bound down the staircase barefoot, hair still damp and tee-shirt untucked. After yesterday's wondrous breakthrough of finally being able to appreciate Natalie's beautiful body, Adrian was determined follow Dr. Bell's council and completely test his limits. Today he planned to remain strong and not respond to uncomfortable situations, hence the 'quick' shower, untucked shirt and lack of shoes. He felt extremely distressed by his dishevelment but trusted his anxiety would subside, as Dr. Bell had promised.

Adrian stopped at the kitchen doorway when he spied Natalie at the table, her back to him, reading the paper. Unintentionally silent, he approached her and she startled when Adrian wrapped his arms around her. After apologizing for the scare, he kissed her cheek and murmured, "Natalie, why didn't you wake me?"

She snuggled her cheek against his freshly shaved face and inhaled deeply, enjoying his clean scent. Natalie placed her hand on his arm a lightly squeezed, "Mmm, you looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to wake you." Natalie let out a small cough and released her hold, "I had a sneezing fit earlier, that's why I left you alone and came downstairs."

Adrian kneeled on one knee next to her chair and instinctively put his hand on her forehead, concern in his voice. "How do you feel?" Adrian then sucked in a breath when it registered what he was touching –not Natalie, he was fine touching Natalie; they had shared lots of germs lately, but possibly _contagious germs_, and plenty of them. Not a phobia he had planned on confronting today, but here it was anyway. Adrian gritted his teeth and managed to keep his hand on her forehead. He softly asked, "Are you sick, Natalie?"

"No, not sick at all, just a little allergy attack." Natalie happily removed his hand and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Adrian gasped for a breath when Natalie finally released her hold on him. "What was that for?"

"For not freaking out and asking for a wipe just now when you thought I was _contaminated_ with germs," she smirked. "Now, can I get you something for breakfast? Or maybe I should say lunch since it's almost 11 am? What do you want?"

The distressful thought of germs had been obliterated by Natalie's fiery kiss and replaced with a much more pleasant idea. "What do I want?" A suggestive smile came to Adrian's lips as he recalled the previous night. His eyes glinted and he remained kneeling next to her chair, hoping she shared his thought.

"Really?" Natalie snickered and she cupped her hand under his chin, "Come on, I have to feed you."

"I'm not hungry." Adrian slyly grinned, leaning in to steal a kiss from her germ-free lips.

"I know you didn't have lunch or dinner yesterday. You must be starving." Natalie insisted as she ran a hand through his tousled hair.

"Not at all," he quietly asserted. Much to his chagrin, his empty stomach then chose to let out a growl of protest. Natalie laughed and playfully tugged one of his curls and Adrian amended his answer. "Well, maybe a bit."

She stood and pulled him from his knee onto her chair. "Here, you sit while I get you a hearty, calorie-filled breakfast." When he looked up and met her gaze, Natalie winked, "You're going to need lots of energy today."

~~MN~~

While Natalie and Adrian finished washing and drying the dishes, the phone rang. An unexpected intrusion, it sounded unnaturally loud and shrill in the cozy kitchen. Their eyes met and they sighed in unison, hoping against hope it wasn't the Captain or Randy. Natalie flashed a half-hearted smile and together they went to the phone.

He looked at her apologetically after seeing the number on the caller-id.

She leaned up against Adrian's body and hit the answer button. "Yes Randy?"

"Hey Nat, sorry to bother you guys. It's not an emergency, but I just needed to tell you that Monk needs to go to the penitentiary tomorrow. A con named Spyder Rudner was killed last week and the warden has requested that Adrian investigate, if that's okay with you guys?"

Natalie relayed the message to Adrian and secured his approval before telling Randy "We'll be there tomorrow, no problem."

"Thanks so much." Randy urgently mumbled something to a fellow officer and so quickly offered a goodbye to Natalie, "I gotta go, see you guys later."

Natalie placed the phone back in its cradle and hugged Adrian. "I'm sorry about Spyder."

"Thanks Nat but you know, he _did _kill four people." Adrian sighed, torn by the news of Spyder's murder. Although Rudner probably deserved his fate, Adrian had witnessed a good side to the man. "I guess that's one of the hazards of being incarcerated. So, until tomorrow, let's not think about his death or our trip to the penitentiary."

She loosened her embrace and met his eyes. "Okay, so what do you want to do today?"

Adrian gently brushed a stray hair from Natalie's face and then thoughtfully caressed her cheek; a shy smile crept across his face and the glint returned to his eye. "Maybe we could, you know, practice some of the things you taught me last night?"

"Practice makes perfect, hmm?" Natalie chuckled and took Adrian's hand, ready to follow him upstairs. But before leaving the kitchen, Natalie paused and touched a button on the phone. With all calls sent directly to voice-mail, their afternoon would be undisturbed.

* * *

End Notes: Please know I am not (through Leland's statements) badmouthing the Garden State. I'm from New Jersey and I l_ove _New Jersey! It's a beautiful, strange place. I haven't seen theDevil (yet), but I have been to the Gates of Hell (among other oddities), don't especially care for Shoobies (if you don't know what they are, LOL, you're probably one!) and yes, one of our unofficial slogans is- 'Where the Weak are Killed and Eaten'! – Don't worry about Randy though, Sharona will protect him! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 The Bonds of Friendship

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk

Notes: Thank you SpaceCadet47, MonkNat08 and alex hoodle for the warm welcome back, I really appreciate it!

~~~Read and Review please! ;)

* * *

The limousine finally came to a halt and the newly released ex-con impatiently opened the door, unwilling to wait for the chauffer. He wanted to inspect his new surroundings and enjoy his freedom. But more importantly, he was anxious to meet his unknown partner. A sneer came to his face as his eyes scrutinized the house before him; it was nondescript and unkempt and, thanks to the scrubby landscaping, appeared to be abandoned. Its total isolation was probably its only positive asset, but the silence was unnerving to someone who had been subjected to constant noise for three years. He brought his hand to his clean-shaven head as he glanced around, suddenly feeling exposed and uncomfortable. He took a hesitant step towards the house and the front door opened. He made out the shadowy outline of a woman, her hand beckoning him to enter.

He crossed the threshold and the young woman closed the door behind him. His eyes roamed the foyer and a flash of relief calmed his nerves. The plain exterior of the house was definitely misleading. Palatial was probably the most accurate word to describe the inside; there were antiques furnishing the entrance way and a chandler festooned with crystals illuminating the vaulted ceiling. He cast his eyes at the voluptuous woman in surprise, for she surely was not his new partner. He laced his fingers together and quietly looked at her. This was a simple trick he had learned long ago; prolonged silence would prompt one's target to volunteer information. It worked every time.

"Hi, I'm Brandi and I'm your welcoming committee," the woman gushed as she led him back into the sitting room, her high heels clattering on the marble floors. Brandi Bender immediately went to the bar, ready to serve him a drink. She picked up a crystal decanter "Jameson Whiskey, yes? -Well I know you were expecting to meet someone else today, but your host had other obligations. You'll be meeting him in a day or so. He said, and I quote, 'I've already lined up a few little surprises for our friend, so take some time to relax', unquote. So I'm here to help you get settled and to look after your every need."

"_Every need_?" he lecherously asked as his eyes roamed down her tight, skimpy dress. He took the drink from her hand and casually allowed his finger to graze hers. His host had already started having 'fun' with the detective? How intriguing! Well perhaps his vendetta _could_ wait a day. Raising the glass, he cheerfully toasted "_Sine Metu_. That means 'Without Fear' my dear."

"What's to fear?" Brandi asked as she stepped closer to him, a brazen look on her face. "I just have one question. What do you want me to call you?"

His eyes lit up as his mind went immediately to his pre-incarceration alias. After taking a sip of his drink, his voice thickened. "You can call me Father."

* * *

Though long, the drive to the prison was uneventful and almost relaxing. And yet Adrian fidgeted in the passenger seat. When they had first gotten into the car, Natalie had made her now standard joke about 'work is work, so no distractions, please' and Adrian _was_ faithfully concentrating on this new case. But a short time later, when Natalie casually touched his knee, all thoughts of Spyder Rudner's murder escaped Adrian's mind. He gazed at Natalie and a lurking anxiety slowly began to build, tying his stomach in knots. Something was very wrong.

As the miles ticked by, Adrian realized that too often he had put his own needs and phobias above Natalie's welfare and safety. When the prison came into view, Adrian knew that this had to change.

~~MN~~

"Natalie, you know you really _don't_ need to go in with me." Adrian turned to Natalie and quietly asserted. They had just arrived at the prison's parking lot and were still seated in the car. He quickly unfastened his own seatbelt and then put his hand over hers, preventing her from unbuckling her seatbelt. "Why don't you stay out here?"

"Why can't I go in with you? Assisting you is _kind of_ my job, you know. Keeping you focused?" Natalie twisted her hand and managed to unfasten her seatbelt. She stared at Adrian, the distress on his face obvious. "Adrian, what's going on?"

A myriad of troubling thoughts cluttered his mind: claustrophobic confinement, prison goo, prison air, being pat down by an unfamiliar, germ-ridden corrections officer and even the presence Dale Beiderbeck, the prison's most infamous inmate. But Adrian recognized that his concern for Natalie was paramount.

He took her hand and held tight. "Natalie, it _is_ a maximum security men's prison, full of dangerous felons, and I don't want you going in there."

"I've been in prisons with you before and it's always been safe. What's different about this one?"

With an embarrassed grimace, he softly sighed. "Well, nothing has changed with the prison. I just realized that maybe I shouldn't subject you to such a sordid place."

"So this means you think I'm a helpless girl?" Natalie teased, batting her eyelashes.

Adrian offered a melancholy smile and traced his hand along her jaw. "No Natalie, you're far from being a helpless girl. We both know you're tougher than me. But I've finally noticed you're a beautiful woman and I don't want those, umh, those _criminals _leering over you."

The glib look dissolved from Natalie's face as she processed what Adrian had just said; her safety and honor were more important than his phobias. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. Natalie felt his hands stroke her back, removing from her the burden of always having to be strong. Basking in his protective embrace, she murmured a quiet, "Thank you."

He tightened their embrace and sheepishly conceded, "It's about time I started looking after my girl."

* * *

After having pulled a paperback book from her purse, Natalie settled back into the car seat and made herself comfortable. She glanced around the nearly full parking lot and her attention was caught by a dark-haired man. He was leaning against a black SUV with dark, smoked windows and appeared to be watching the prison entrance. Perhaps he was waiting for someone to be released? Instinctively, she turned to look at the gate and caught a glimpse of Adrian speaking with a guard. Natalie delighted in seeing how confidently Adrian held himself. After Adrian was admitted into the prison, Natalie turned to look once again at the dark-haired man but he had vanished. Had there been something familiar about him? Natalie felt an odd, unexplainable sensation and checked that the car's doors were locked before opening her book.

* * *

Staring at a brick in the wall, Adrian stood stock still and took deliberate, deep breaths. Dr. Bell had suggested this new association technique, and so Adrian attempted to associate the impending pat down with being able to solve the crime. Although Adrian was skeptical about this therapy's effectiveness, he decided to give it a try with hopes that this search would go smoother than previous pat downs. While his body was unceremoniously touched and prodded, Adrian resisted the urge to flinch and instead tried to concentrate on the reason he was at the prison; to solve the murder of the man who had saved his life years ago. It was a strange bond, not quite a friendship, and it had been severed by a brutal murder. A murder that occurred in –oh God!- in a locked, claustrophobic building filled with prison germs, prison swirlies and prison goo.

Now Adrian was overcome with panic. He violently flinched away from the correction officer who had almost finished searching him. This was now more than simply an awkward situation. Did he have to explain himself to the guard? Did he need to apologize? Natalie always took care of dealing with people, smoothing away any problems, distracting him from the unpleasantness that surrounded him. Oh where was Natalie when he needed her? He shifted one shoulder than the other before bringing his hand to his brow. If he wanted to focus, he needed to relax. Adrian attempted to muster some of Frankie DePalma's bravado but failed miserably and fumbled over his words. "Are we, you know, done here?"

The correction officer regarded him impassively; he remembered Mr. Monk from previous encounters and today's search had been comparatively easy. "Yes sir, CO Martin will now take you to see the warden." After Adrian mumbled a 'thank you' and made a step to follow Corrections Officer Joe Martin, the original guard nodded and gave a wink, "Be careful in there, Mr. Monk."

~~MN~~

After the unpleasant but necessary pat down, Adrian followed CO Martin to the warden's office. As they walked the deserted hallways, Adrian cleared his throat and tried to focus on Spyder's murder. "CO Martin, were you working when Spyder Rudner was killed?"

"No sir. He was killed approximately 0900 hours and I had just gone off shift at 0800. I was in the locker room getting changed when I heard the alarm sound, calling for lock-down."

"So he was out of his cell and murdered right after shift change?" Adrian began to focus in on the facts of the case and his anxiety lessened.

"Yes sir. The inmates are normally out of their cells at 0830 for first meal service. He was found at 0910 hours in a corridor leading to the laundry facilities, sir," the guard replied with military curtness.

They turned a corner and Adrian found they had reached the warden's office. Pushing the buzzer on the door jamb, CO Martin announced their arrival while looking at a camera mounted near the ceiling. The door's lock was disengaged and Martin opened the door for Adrian, "Mr. Monk, I'll leave you to Warden Connors."

The warden had been expecting Adrian and eagerly rose from his chair, a friendly hand outstretched. "Detective Monk, thank you so much for coming."

Adrian hesitantly shook the offered hand and then, as casually as possible, rubbed his hand along the side of his jacket. "No problem at all Warden Connors. Can I meet the inmate who spoke to Spyder first? Then, if you would show me where he was killed and then can I look through Spyder's effects?"

"Actually I sent the box of Rudner's effects to the front gate for you to take home. We've already taken an inventory and found nothing amiss or odd; he had books and pictures and, of course, a shiv which we confiscated. We're keeping the shiv but I'm granting you complete access to all his other effects. I also included copies of what our internal investigation has documented so far. So when you leave, you can sign the box out. Call us when you're done with it and I'll have someone pick it up."

The warden sat and indicated the Adrian could take a seat as well. Adrian declined and the warden continued, "That leaves us with the inmate who spoke to Spyder and the scene of the crime." Warden Connor pressed a button on his phone and asked that Brian Patrick, inmate #132465, be brought in.

A slender, weasely-looking character, hands and feet shackled, was escorted into the warden's office. After a very brief round of conversational pleasantries, the warden invited inmate Patrick to relay his message to Mr. Monk.

"Yeah, well Spyder was all nervous about something, saying it was a matter of life-or-death and that he has to talk to his pal, Mr. Monk. That's all he said, man." The con eyed the jar of candy sitting on the warden's desk. "That's all I know- tell Mr. Monk it's life-or-death."

Adrian interrogated the inmate, asking him to repeat exactly what Spyder had said and then asking several innocuous questions about the inmate and his relationship with Rudner. It didn't take long for Adrian to nod to the warden, indicating he was done speaking with the inmate.

After the con was led out, Adrian turned to the warden and shook his head. "That inmate was lying. I'm sure you noticed that hidden amid his numerous tattoos, the letters 'AB' are tattooed on his arm. 'AB' means Aryan Brotherhood. Spyder would not have been friends with him. Also, Spyder_ never_ acted nervous. I'm sure he never would have given Patrick such a veiled message. This has been a set-up, meant to lure me up here."

Warden Connor let out a low whistle, "So are _you_ in a 'life-or-death' situation?"

"Well, it's more likely the perpetrator is trying to distract me from another case I'm working on. That's happened before. Or, maybe it's something big that hasn't occurred yet." Adrian calmly dismised the message as an imminent threat to his personal safety. He _would_ talk with Leland about the case and would remain alert, as a precaution. But Adrian felt that it was more than likely Spyder's murder was just meant to pull his focus from some other case.

"Could you show me where Rudner was killed, warden?" Adrian took a step towards the door.

Warden Connors affixed a walkie-talkie to his belt and opened the outer door, "Follow me, Mr. Monk."

They left the office and toured the empty halls, arriving at the scene of the crime. Adrian did several slow circles around the now clean murder spot, his hands raised, trying to get a feel for what had occurred. When Adrian was satisfied he had seen all there was to see, they took a different route back to the office and passed Dale Beiderbeck's cell.

The corpulent man gave a hearty laugh, "Adrian Monk, _my long lost friend_."

Adrian cast a scornful look at Dale and said nothing. He nodded to the warden, indicating he wanted to continue their return to the office.

As the detective and warden neared the end of the corridor, Dale suddenly bellowed, a demanding inflection in his voice. "_Detect_i_ve_ _Monk_, you can interrogate me."

Adrian stopped dead in his tracks. Knowing he would regret this, Adrian told the warden he needed to speak with Beiderbeck.


	3. A Few Surprises Chapter 3

Chapter 3 A Few Surprises

Standard disclaimer- I don't own Monk.

Notes: -Parental guidance needed for the villains' words and actions (the bad guys are _really_ bad guys).

A brief recap- Adrian is at the penitentiary, ready to interrogate Dale the Whale, Natalie is waiting in the car, Father Ralph Roberts is off at his hideout & enjoying (sic) his early parole and Roberts' accomplice is lurking about, setting up some awful surprises.

Thanks to SpaceCadet47, Frenho, MonkNat08 and alex hoodle for the feedback! ;) -a quick note to alex hoodle (Since your PM isn't working) –I'm so happy you noticed Adrian is growing- that's one of the major themes of this story. However, you will have to wait for Dale's ulterior motive (but there are some clues)!

A super special thank you to Monkwriter for the critical eye!

* * *

After watching Adrian Monk enter the prison, the dark-haired man got into his vehicle and pulled the generic, disposable cell phone from his pocket. With an amused smirk on his face, he hit redial and sighed happily when his call was answered. "It's me. Did you make that surprise delivery? _Superb. _The target will be at the prison for at least an hour, so you have a little time to stake out your surveillance spot. Contact me when he finds his little _present_._"_

With a chuckle, he abruptly disconnected the call and dialed another number. After one ring it was answered and he asked, "Have the paper's been filed with the Grand Jury? So the indictment went through? Excellent. You'll be receiving a handsome _donation_ at the usual spot and time." He then started his SUV and pulled out of his parking spot, careful to make his exit so that Natalie would not notice him leaving.

Wheels were in motion and the fun was about to begin.

* * *

"I'm _thrilled _that you stopped to chat, Adrian! I've missed you so much." Dale Beiderbeck's face lit up, delighted to once again have the opportunity to torment the detective. "I mean, just because of some _minor_ misunderstanding with Sheriff Rollins, you throw our friendship away and never visit? Really Adrian, you are _too_ sensitive!"

Adrian stood just inside the cell, right beside the locked door and shifted his shoulder. He looked over Dale's head and studied the cell's décor or rather, the lack of décor. A trace of a smile briefly tugged at the corner of Adrian's mouth before he straightened his stance and silently met the convicted felon's eyes.

Dale saw that fleeting look of victory and his mood blackened; Adrian Monk would not triumph over the Great Dale Beiderbeck, ever. Soon Monk would realize that he hadn't won, that he would never win. But until then, Dale would have some fun tormenting the detective.

"So Adrian, I must compliment you on your new look- you're now wearing a _grey_ suit? And _not_ buttoning the jacket? _And_ leaving the _top_ button of your shirt undone? How_ very_ chic and daring!" Dale snickered and rolled his eyes, "You are quite the trend-setter, Detective Monk."

Adrian shifted his feet and blinked slowly, regarding Dale dispassionately. His eyes darkened and he sighed audibly, "Do you have any information about Spyder Rudner's murder, Dale?"

"Tsk, tsk, Adrian, how rude of you. Right down to it, without any, umh, _foreplay_? Hmm, which reminds me, how _is _the eager Miss Teeger?" Dale laughed lasciviously as he caught a flash of anger in Adrian's eye. This was going to be so easy. He rolled his wheelchair a bit closer, an immense grin on his face. Dale waved his hand towards Adrian's open jacket, "So I assume this change is to give the little vixen easy access? Sick of having buttons ripped off?"

Adrian glowered at Dale and crossed his arms across his chest, "Rudner's murder, Dale."

"Patience my dear man, first we need to catch up. It's been ages since we've talked. You know I'm not one to gossip, Adrian, but I do like to keep up with what's happening outside my humble abode. Anyway, I was _so surprised_ to hear that you and Natalie are _together_. I mean _really _Adrian, Natalie Teeger? She has entertained _quite_ a few men before you, _my dear friend_-" Dale saw Adrian's rage building and sweetened his voice, "-and I'm shocked that her being so, umh, _contaminated_ doesn't bother you.

"But on the other hand, I won't be so hasty to judge _you._ I bet Natalie's been teaching you all sorts of exotic moves you _never_ imagined possible. Hell, I bet she would shock a cop who worked vice." Dale laughed so hard he started to choke.

Adrian took several steps towards Dale but stopped shy of touching him, fury etched on his face and his hands balled up into fists. He leaned down and through clenched teeth hissed, "Last chance and then I leave, Beiderbeck. Spyder's murder; any information?"

Dale rolled his wheelchair away and let loose another hearty laugh, relishing his little game. Since the fiasco with Sherriff Rollins, Dale's world had been reduced dramatically and he had few opportunities to toy with others and vent his ever increasing frustrations. Now that Adrian Monk was back in his life, Dale was enjoying his chance to rekindle the old flames of hatred.

"I'll answer any question you put to me if you'll tell me a few things in return, Detective Monk." Dale sweetly cajoled, "You know, tit for tat. I know, I'll go first. And don't worry, I wouldn't_ dream_ of asking you how you're coming on Trudy's case. You've pretty much hit a _dead end, _haven't you? Pardon the pun, my friend. Totally unintentional. Hmm, so my first question for you is- with your germaphobia, and knowing how many other men Natalie has -"

In a flash, Adrian shoved Dale's wheelchair against the wall and placed his forearm against Dale's throat. Pushing as hard as possible, Adrian watched as Dale gasped for breath and his face redden. "SHUT UP Dale or I swear I'll-"

"You'll what, kill me?" Dale managed to croak. Eyes starting to bulge, he struggled against Adrian's hold and gloated, "Then you'll be _in here_ after all."

Adrian's eyes narrowed in pure hatred. With one last shove, Adrian let go of Dale and paced over to the cell's doorway. Returning his glare to Beiderbeck, he muttered, "Rot in hell, Dale" then turned and called loudly, "CO, on the gate."

"In case you haven't noticed, _thanks to_ _you_ Adrian Monk, I _am_ rotting in hell." Dale's face was returning to normal color but his voice was still raspy. He suddenly smirked, "It's astonishing,_ Detective_, how you sometimes overlook _the most obvious _things."

Dale straightened himself in his wheelchair and once again rolled himself towards Adrian, ready to continue baiting the detective. "But you're leaving so soon? What's happened to your curiosity about the dearly departed Spyder Rudner?

"And Adrian, my proposal of give-and –take was, in my _humble_ opinion, very reasonable. So I'm so sad you wouldn't answer my simple little questions about our _Naughty Natalie_. I was hoping your answers would help make _my_ fantasies about the little harlot more realistic. " Dale rolled even closer, the leer still on his face. "I guess I _could_ just get in touch with some of her_ other_ conquests, but with so many to choose from-"

Beiderbeck paused when he saw the corrections officer striding up the hallway towards his cell. He had one last chance to exploit Adrian's newest and most obvious weakness. With his eyes still on the CO, Dale continued his salacious goading, "So how eager was_ our _girl this morning, you ruttish rascal?"

The grin slid from Dale's face as Adrian unexpectedly turned -

* * *

The corrections officer slowed when he saw Adrian's fist make contact with Beiderbeck's face, knocking him from his wheelchair. Unhooking his keys from his belt, the guard sighed as he _accidentally_ dropped the keys on the ground, his attention now diverted from what was happening in the cell twenty feet away. How clumsy he was today. Oh my, it's a good thing he bent over because the laces on his boots were loose and he needed to retie them. Better fix them, for safety's sake.

The guard stood up after hearing a bone crushing thud followed by a subsequent groan. Catching a glimpse of blood pouring from Beiderbeck's crumpled nose, the guard ambled over to the cell and softy called, "Mr. Monk, did Mr. Beiderbeck fall out of his chair?"

Adrian didn't acknowledge the guard and continued to mercilessly pound on the slow moving mountain of flesh under him. He didn't react when the CO called for assistance or when the door to the cell swung free. Still in a fury, Adrian ignored the sounds of the guards behind him as he once again raised his hand to punch the now unconscious inmate. Two officers abruptly caught Adrian's arms and dragged him away from the limp body, all the while fretting about Dale's _accidental_ fall from his wheelchair.

One guard held smelling salts under Beiderbeck's now shattered nose, causing Dale to violently flinch awake. The other guard radioed for some first aid supplies and for help getting Beiderbeck back into his wheelchair. Dale's spinning eyes eventually found Adrian, who was pacing outside the cell. Dale gasped and a malicious grin crookedly crept across his bloodied lips, revealing a gap that once was filled by a tooth. Dale spat a mouthful of blood on the floor and, satisfied that he had Monk's attention, mumbled his cryptic message.

Though barely audible, the detective was convinced he heard- "Adrian, he lost his family."

* * *

Still reeling from Warden Connor's official lecture on prison protocol during inmate visitations and his unofficial lecture on self-control, Adrian was mortified and frustrated as he was escorted to the front gate. He should never have agreed to speak with Dale. It was no surprise that Dale would use crude language and innuendos to provoke him. Adrian was so disappointed in himself; there was no excuse for allowing Beiderbeck to manipulate him so easily and predictably. When he finally signed the release form for the box of Spyder Rudner's personal effects and exited the prison, Adrian's agitation was still sky-high.

~~MN~~

He resolved to tell Natalie nothing from the encounter with Dale, save the line about 'he lost his family'. That was the puzzle he needed to solve. Was Beiderbeck referring to Spyder or perhaps the father of Spyder's victims? Or did it even relate to Rudner's death? Was it simply the case of an inmate separated from his kids, pining away, or was it something deeper? Had someone's family been kidnapped or killed? Or was it totally meaningless and was Dale simply trying to confuse things?

With such endless possibilities, Adrian hoped there might be a clue in the box he now carried across the parking lot. As he approached Natalie's car, Adrian's mood lightened a bit; he spied the petite blonde curled up, book still in hand, fast asleep in the front seat of the silver sedan.

~~MN~~

Much to Adrian's relief, Natalie was fully recharged after her catnap and ready to drive them home from the penitentiary. He shared with Natalie the vague message from Beiderbeck and little else that had happened in the prison, especially why his knuckles were bruised and cut. He knew she was perturbed by his evasiveness, but his sullen demeanor had made her reluctant to press the matter.

So while Natalie quietly maneuvered the car towards the highway, Adrian grew silent and attempted to forget Dale's sordid comments. But it was impossible. Once again Beiderbeck had wormed his way into Adrian's mind and planted evil, repulsive thoughts. And once again Adrian felt a blinding, uncontrollable rage that frightened him.

An oppressive silence grew and filled the car as the miles rolled by. Natalie stared straight ahead and Adrian blankly stared out at the passing scenery- Dale's vile questions relentlessly stabbed at his heart. He had never considered Natalie 'contaminated' or unworthy because of her past. But now that he thought about it, actually it was quite the opposite. Adrian was elated that he had rescued Natalie from those meaningless dalliances and shown her what a committed, loving relationship was. But, other than Mitch, Adrian wanted to remain ignorant of her past relationships. Didn't he?

"What really happened to your hands, Adrian?" Natalie eventually asked, bringing Adrian from his trance. Her concerned gaze briefly met his as she continued to navigate the car homeward.

"I, umh, here's the thing- can we please just not talk about it?" Adrian wearily requested.

Natalie gave a small nod and Adrian was grateful she didn't press him further. He was determined to protect her and was not about to repeat the appalling things Dale had uttered.

"Okay, I'm going to trust your judgment. But you can tell me anything, you know?" Natalie reached over and placed her hand on Adrian's knee.

"I know Nat, but-" Adrian sighed and slipped his hand atop hers. He was grateful for her understanding yet sorry to be keeping something from her.

"Can we stop at my apartment on the way home, Natalie? I need to, you know, check the dust levels." He snickered at his purposeful attempt at 'Monkishness', a clumsy apology hidden in his self-deprecation.

"We can check whatever you want, Adrian," Natalie chuckled in return. Apology heard and accepted.

* * *

Father, aka Ralph Roberts, eagerly followed the girl upstairs. Brandi Bender had been an unexpected gift from his new associate and he was determined to enjoy this little diversion before enacting his vendetta against Adrian Monk. When they reached the second floor, she raised an inviting eyebrow and opened the bedroom door. Roberts was blind to the frightened expression on her face when he shoved her into the room and roughly pulled at her clothing.

He pushed the girl quickly onto the bed as flashbacks of the past three years whirled in his mind. Since Adrian Monk had sent him to prison, he had been subjected to terrible, unspeakable hardships. Not only had his 'family' been taken from him, robbing him of the_ special_ attentions of the female members of his flock but, most importantly, in prison he had been preyed upon by the other inmates. They beat him and had- no, Roberts wouldn't allow himself to dwell on his inability to protect himself from the advances of the larger, aggressive inmates. The girl squirmed under him and he mindlessly grabbed and twisted her arms with all his strength. Strength. Roberts became enraged as he recalled how he hadn't been as strong as some of the other inmates- how they had degraded him, forced him to-

Brandi suddenly cried out and he backhanded her across the face, his voice cold and bitter, "Shut up and do what I want." Roberts ignored the pained look on the girl's face as he forced her to submit to him and, ultimately, satisfy his desires. When he finally let her go, she gathered her clothes and ran from the room sobbing. He lay back on the bed and slowly smiled; complete control over others was so intoxicating. Soon Adrian Monk would also acknowledge his supremacy, and would ultimately beg for mercy.

* * *

Natalie stood in front of Adrian and took out her her key to unlock the door to Adrian's apartment. Regretting his sullenness on the ride back from the penitentiary, Adrian slipped his hands around Natalie's waist and sighed. "Natalie? I'm sorry for not telling you about what happened back at the prison. Dale said some pretty vile things and- and I'd rather not repeat any of it."

"I figured it was something like that." Natalie leaned back and turned her face, lightly kissing him. She then tenderly placed her hands over his and gently caressed his injured knuckles. "Thank you for defending my honor."

"Any time, Nat." Adrian tightened his hold on her and closed his eyes, comforted by her understanding.

Natalie stuck her key into the deadbolt and turned it and then into the lock on the doorknob. She then tried to open the door, but for some reason the deadbolt was still engaged. Without a thought, she reinserted the key and twisted it again, feeling a click as the lock disengaged. She placed her other hand on the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open.

"Didn't you unlock the deadbolt the first time you used your key, Natalie?" Adrian's eyes snapped open as he kept his hands on Natalie's waist, preventing her from entering the apartment. He furrowed his brow and peered over her shoulder into his apartment. Although his eyes had been shut when she first attempted to unlock the door, he sensed there was something amiss.

"I didn't notice, but I think so." Natalie stepped to Adrian's side, a small look of confusion on her face. She looked down at her keys and then to Adrian, "Maybe I didn't turn it enough the first time?"

"Let me go in and have a look around, okay? It's probably nothing but, you stay out here." Adrian gave Natalie a reassuring nod and entered the silent apartment. He quietly walked down the hall and through the dining room and into the kitchen. Nobody there and nothing seemed out of place. He then checked the bathroom, bedroom and living room and shook his head. Also vacant and everything appeared properly situated. But he still sensed that something was off. Shrugging off the nagging disquietude, Adrian returned to the front door.

"Come on in, it was nothing." Adrian allowed Natalie to pass him and then closed the door behind her. He scrutinized the door and its jamb and then purposefully engaging both locks. With a shift of his shoulders, Adrian turned, only to discover Natalie standing right behind him, a huge smile on her face.

Adrian automatically chuckled and returned the smile, "What?"

"This was the second time today that you've defended me." Natalie beamed and placed her hands on the collar of his shirt. Holding his gaze, she slid her hands down and undid the second button, "I think you deserve a reward."

Adrian's hands instinctively found her hips and pulled her close, their bodies now touching. Natalie undid the third button and he innocently asked, "What type of reward?"

* * *

End notes: Sorry for the cliffhanger but this was the most logical place to break—I promise the next chapter(s) will be just as maddening~ but also very A&N!

~A brief Hello to everyone reading -I know there are _lots_ of you out there but you're being very quiet! Please take a minute and let me know what you think. A PM or review would be great- Thanks ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Bugs and Kisses

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes:Thanks for Reading and Reviewing! ~~

After visiting prison and interrogating Dale Beiderbeck, what else could happen to our hero?

* * *

Billy played with the digital camera, reviewing the surveillance pictures he had just taken. His targets had just entered the apartment building on Pine, oblivious to his presence in a car parked up the street. Damn, he wanted this job to be finished; today was the first time Billy felt nervous and antsy while on a stake-out. Up until today he had always loved his work- you never know who you might see or what they might be doing. Billy had liked the excitement of it all, it made his feel alive. But, for so many reasons, this job was different. This job spooked him.

When a colleague first approached him about this job, he agreed quickly. It had sounded pretty straightforward; a simple breaking and entering and then some surveillance. No big deal, he'd done both dozens of times and it should have been easy money. Then he had a face-to-face meeting with the Boss. Billy didn't scare easily but his new employer made his skin crawl. Even the Boss's vehicle, a black SUV with dark, smoked windows was somehow ominous. Billy could just tell that the Boss was a dangerous, soulless man. But by then it was too late to back out of the job; he was stuck.

So when Billy was given the target's name, his stomach knotted up even more- this job was getting worse by the minute. For obvious reasons, he had always avoided contact with anyone in law enforcement, and this job was taking him into the lion's den. But, fearing the Boss more than the most observant detective in the world, Billy followed orders and made the_ surprise delivery _to apartment 2-G. And after completing his assignment, he made sure that he left the apartment exactly as he had found it. As instructed, everything had been returned to their original positions- everything except the damn deadbolt on the door. That had proved impossible to relock.

Now he just wanted to finish the surveillance, report back to the Boss and disappear for a while. He had to admit, however, that he was intrigued when he saw the detective and his assistant. Or more accurately, he was intrigued _by _the detective's hot little girlfriend/assistant. Billy shook his head in wonderment- why did some guys have all the luck? Anyway, after seeing the girl, Billy was pissed that he hadn't been tasked with planting some listening devices or cameras while in the apartment. Billy knew that the couple wouldn't be inside for long but, odds were, there'd be some action. Hell if she were _his_ girl, Billy would do her as soon as the apartment door closed. Billy thought that if he had been on any other job, he might have hidden in the apartment, knocked the guy out and then had some fun with the girl. But the Boss's orders were explicit, no contact with the target and do not leave anything out of place in the apartment.

Billy checked his watch and straightened himself in the driver's seat. The detective and his girlfriend had been inside for about fifteen minutes. Billy hoped that, even if they were screwing around, they'd hurry the hell up and find what had been left inside the apartment. Billy wanted them to exit the building so he could snap a few more pictures, report back to the Boss and then disappear.

* * *

Standing just inside his apartment, Adrian grinned and repeated his question, "Natalie, what type of reward? Are you going to help me clean my apartment?"

Natalie sighed and slid her arms over his shoulders, lacing her fingers together behind his neck. "No cleaning- this apartment is clean enough!"

"Well, I guess I could go get the box of Spyder Rudner's effects from your car so-"

"No, no, no. You're not working on the case just yet. You've had a difficult day and you first need to relax." The sly grin returned to her lips and she brought her hands back down to his chest and slowly unfastened the next button on his shirt, "Your reward will be, hmm, I'm going to teach you how to relax."

A tired smile graced his face, "Natalie, I'm already relaxed."

She returned her hands to his shoulders and gently squeezed. "Feel those knots in your shoulders? That means you're stressed -the _opposite_ of relaxed. So we need to get you relaxed before you think about the case." She continued to massage his shoulders, her hands working their way over to the base of his neck.

"Natalie should I-" His determination to work on Spyder's case was wavering and he gazed at Natalie, looking to her for her decisiveness.

"You should first let me thank you for your care and concern for me today," she stopped rubbing his shoulders and ran her hands down his arms and took hold of his hands. "You need to let me take care of you. That would make me happy. After you're completely relaxed, you can then work on Spyder's case."

Adrian tilted his head while holding Natalie's gaze, considering what she had said. So he shouldn't think about Spyder's case? And he was stressed? He'd had those knots in his shoulders for so long he thought that was just his natural state. And now Natalie wanted to teach him how to relax? Regardless of all the vile things Dale had said about Natalie's _experience_, Adrian _did_ love Natalie teaching him things. And he _did_ want to make Natalie happy. Adrian abruptly leaned down and lightly kissed her, "So _you_ were going to teach _me something_?"

Natalie took his face in her hands and kissed him eagerly, "Class is in session, Adrian."

~~MN~~

They continued to kiss as they made their way down the hallway to the bedroom, sharing a laugh when they accidentally bumped into the door jam. They momentarily disentangled and Natalie teased, "Maybe you pay attention to where you're going." With a broad smile that never left her lips, Natalie crossed to the window, closed the drapes, and returned to stand in front of Adrian. She braced herself, placing her hand on his chest, and casually removed her shoes.

"I_ am_ paying attention," he murmured as he let his eyes roam from her bare feet, up her lithe body, to her face. "I'm _always_ paying attention," he smiled at his own insinuation.

"Good to know," Natalie glowed, pleased that he was letting himself admire and desire her body. She reached up and gently tugged off his jacket and turned, placing it on the back of a chair. Natalie took his arm and led him over to the bed, "Now let's get you more comfortable." She lightly pushed Adrian into a seated position on the bed and, holding his gaze, she knelt down before him. Placing her hands on his knees, she ran her hands down his legs and untied the laces of his shoes. Removing both his shoes and socks, Natalie slid up between his legs, pushing him gently onto his back. She straddled his lap and leaned over him, softly kissing him, "Feeling better now?"

Temporarily struck mute, he slowly blinked his eyes open, reeling from all the wonderful sensations. Her weight on his body, the scent of her shampoo, the sounds of her kisses on his neck, the feel of her hands unfastening the last buttons of his shirt and touching his bare skin. After several quiet '_hmms_', he eventually answered with a husky voice, "Much better."

"Good, I'm glad," she winked then sat up. Natalie brought his hands to the hem of her blouse and, catching movement out of the corner of her eye, glanced towards the bed pillows. She tilted her head in disbelief and gripped his hands tightly. "Adrian? Was that a-"

He turned his head and looked. Then involuntarily gagged. Though the room was darkened, he immediately recognized what Natalie had glimpsed. With one arm thrown around Natalie's waist, he frantically pushed himself off the bed, pulling her with him.

Adrian snatched his socks and shoes from under the bed and inspected them before putting them on, a desperate look on his face. "Natalie-" he gagged again and shuddered, "there's bugs- roaches- walking pestilence- ON MY BED!" He brushed at his shirt violently, imagining all the bug's germs crawling on him. With a sever twitch to his shoulder, he opened his armoire and retrieved a clean shirt, only to find a bug crawling up the shirt's sleeve. Bugs were crawling over everything inside the cabinet. He threw the shirt on the floor and howled in anguish, "Natalie, they're everywhere! How the hell did this happen?"

Natalie swiftly put her shoes on and came to Adrian's side. She rubbed his back reassuringly, though she was almost as agitated as he, "I don't know, sweetie. Let's just get some of your clothes and get out of here. We can call an exterminator from my, umh, I mean _our_ house."

Adrian squeamishly buttoned his shirt, a look of dismay on his face. "Nothing here is worth taking Natalie. It's_ all_ irredeemable. Let's just set fire to the place and leave." He started to exit the bedroom but she grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"We are _not _setting fire to your apartment, Adrian. Other people live in this building, remember? Don't worry; we'll get an exterminator to spray. This place will be good as new."

"This place is dead to me now, Natalie. There's no going back," Adrian fretted, his eyes scanning the room in disgust. Roaches were now clearly crawling out of the pillow cases onto the bed's comforter.

"Nonsense, Adrian. Your pictures and books are here – you'll see. It'll be fine after we get the place sprayed-"

"Sprayed ten, no, a hundred times," Adrian interjected, his hand now clamped over his mouth.

"No, sprayed once," Natalie insisted, pulling his hand from his face. "Then we'll hire a cleaning crew to, _you know_, dispose of any dead bugs before we come back and do a _real_ cleaning. Okay?"

Adrian looked at Natalie in defeat; he was still prepared to walk away from this apartment and never look back. "Whatever you say, Natalie," he managed to say through a shudder.

"Good. Now just let me check something, okay?" She gently pet his face before going over to his bureau. She opened a drawer and lifted a t-shirt, only to drop it quickly and slam the drawer. Natalie turned and shifted both her shoulders in disgust, a grim look across her face. "We'll need to do some clothes shopping for you on the way home."

"Let me just grab my gun and we'll leave." Adrian exited the room and after several seconds, came back with a pair of kitchen tongs. Quietly muttering a mantra of "Oh no, oh no, oh no-" he gingerly fished the gun-box from the armoire, all the while cringing in dismay. He tilted the box so the roaches which were atop the box fell off, then he carried the box to the dining room, Natalie following close behind. Adrian held his breath as he used the tongs to open the box, verifying that inside, it was bug-free. He then retrieved a fresh, unopened pack of wipes from the bathroom and clumsily opened them with the tongs. When he finally had a wipe, he meticulously cleaned his hands and the outer shell of the gun-box. With a sigh of relief, he turned to Natalie, "We can leave now, right?"

Natalie reached over and took a wipe from the pack, cleaning her hands thoroughly as well, "Yes, we can now leave."

* * *

After snapping about a dozen pictures of Adrian and Natalie exiting the building and driving off, Billy sat back in the car seat and sighed in relief. Now all he had left to do was deliver the surveillance pictures. Then Billy would be finished with the crazy man who paid him to, _ugh_, deliver roaches to Adrian Monk's apartment.

As Billy started the car, he shook his head in awe; Adrian Monk had been carrying his gun-box when he and his girlfriend/assistant exited the apartment. Though the detective had been faced with an awful, disgusting situation- one that surely tested his well-known germaphobia to its limits- Adrian Monk had still been level-headed enough to face his phobia and retrieve his gun. Very impressive. Billy pulled his car out into traffic and silently bid farewell to Pine Street, hoping to never see it again.

* * *

Natalie felt a slight twinge of sadness as she threw the last load of Adrian's new clothes into the washer. Since Adrian had been obstinate about leaving all his clothes back at his apartment, she had taken him shopping for a replacement wardrobe. However, she had been very insistent on what he should, and should not, purchase. Perhaps too insistent.

Although he had recently been forgoing his signature brown suits and button-up shirts, today's traumatic events made him gravitate back towards his comforting, standard uniform. But Natalie argued against buying them and ultimately, he purchase only two new suits, one brown but the other grey, and only six replacement button-up shirts. At Natalie's insistence, the bulk of Adrian's new wardrobe consisted of more casual pants and jeans and cotton pullovers and t-shirts. And lastly, since his reinstatement and subsequent resignation of the police force, Adrian had gotten into the routine of running every other day and so he had to also get replacement exercise clothes. Natalie realized all this _newness_ was a sensory overload for him and it would take time before Adrian felt comfortable wearing all the new clothes. But, like with all his other challenges, she was determined to help ease him into accepting this change to his routine.

She was also determined to lighten his mood. Normally he would have been happy to have a quiet night at home doing laundry, but the trauma of interviewing Dale the Whale coupled with a bug infestation and a completely new wardrobe had cast an unwelcome silence over tonight's domesticity.

So while Adrian was upstairs putting away some of his new clothes in the drawers she had emptied for him, Natalie considered how to revive his spirits and calm his nerves. She suddenly laughed aloud when the most obvious thought came to mind. Besides,_ her_ spirits also needed reviving, if only because their afternoon love-making had been so rudely interrupted. Maybe an unexpected romantic rendezvous was the solution to make them both happy.

With her plan formulated, Natalie went into the living room and tucked a blanket over the couch. She then locked the front door, pulled all the drapes closed and turned off the lights. She returned to the kitchen and did the same thing; lock, drapes and light. Even though it was dark, her memory of the room's layout allowed her to safely navigate back to the washer, which was quietly swishing away. Natalie chuckled as she pulled off her top and slacks and tossed them in with Adrian's clothes. She then padded back into the living room and waited on the sofa, ensconced in the cozy darkness.

* * *

**Notes: There are two options for the ending of this chapter:**

**Leave it to the imagine how A&N's night ends, and then wait for Chapter 5 to be posted- or, **

**Continue reading- Chapter 4 does continue. However, not wanting this entire story to carry an 'M' rating, I cut this chapter in half and posted the ending separately with the 'M' stories.~ It's called: Rendezvous on Natalie's Couch - Chapter 4 Continued–be warned, it is very explicit - For Adults only, please! **


	5. 5 Unexpected Conversations

Chapter 5 Unexpected Conversations

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes:

* * *

After a fitful night plagued with dark nightmares, Ralph Roberts woke with a start. He blinked slowly, searching through his confusion. Several seconds passed before he remembered where he was and that he had been released from prison just two days prior. And a lot had happened in a mere 48 hours. Thanks to an unknown benefactor, Roberts had been whisked away to a secret location and had been given excellent food, expensive liquor, a new wardrobe and cheap female company. All these gifts had been to his liking and it was a very nice diversion. But it had been just that, a diversion.

Today Roberts wanted to return to his original plan-the plan he had dreamed about for three long years. Enact revenge against Adrian Monk. The detective had purposefully destroyed Roberts' comfortable life and sent him to prison. Because of Monk, Roberts had lost both his 'family' of followers as well as his title as savior.

He quickly showered, shaved and dressed, all with the hopeful anticipation of finally meeting his unknown benefactor. Yesterday he had unsuccessfully tried to access some of his hidden bank accounts, only to find it would take at least a week to receive money. So until then, Roberts was completely dependent on his unknown friend. More than anything, he hated being dependent on others.

When he went downstairs to the kitchen, he found a new cell phone and a sealed envelope addressed to him sitting on the table. With great curiosity, he quickly ripped open the manila envelope.

Inside he found a note and a stack of twenty pictures- the note simply read:

_Roberts: How sad that Adrian Monk has a family while you do not. That is not justice._

_Perhaps we need to remedy this situation. Keep the phone with you today. - DB _

He briefly flipped the first picture over and smirked when he found it was meticulously labeled- date, location, others in the photo, etc. When Roberts lined the photos up on the kitchen table, he immediately noticed the one unifying theme: Adrian Monk was in every picture, a look of contentment on his face. In most of the pictures, Monk was with Natalie, holding her hand or arm-in-arm. An expletive flew from Roberts's mouth when he came across a picture of Monk carrying Natalie over the threshold at Natalie's home, the happy couple caught in mid-kiss. Another photo showed Monk with Natalie and Julie, the teenager getting in her car, her Berkley t-shirt and backpack hinting that she was going back to college. Roberts continued to scan the pictures and found another of the detective speaking with his therapist, Dr. Bell. The inscription on the back gave an office address; the picture had obviously been taken through the open blinds of a window during a therapy session. Yet another photo caught the whole gang together- Monk with Natalie, Leland Stottlemeyer and his wife TK, and Randy Disher with Sharona Fleming. They had been at an open-air concert and were sprawled across a blanket, oblivious to being the target of surveillance.

Roberts looked with curiosity at the last two pictures of Monk and Natalie, taken yesterday before and after some seemingly upsetting event. In the first picture the couple appeared thoughtful and tired as they entered his apartment building, the inscription on the back read- '_Whale of a day!_' In the second picture, Adrian and Natalie were visibly shaken as they exited the building. Roberts turned the second picture over only to find a cryptic notation added to the bottom of this snapshot- _'what's bugging Adrian Monk?' _

Leaving the pictures on the table, he opened the cell phone and scanned for stored phone numbers, hoping for a hint of his benefactor's identity. The phone's directory offered no clues; it was completely empty.

Roberts once again considered the note- who was DB? Ralph _had _made friends with the great Dale Beiderbeck in prison, their common ground being an extreme hatred of Adrian Monk. Actually, Dale had _more _hatred for Monk. However, it could not be him; Dale was still in the penitentiary. Roberts tried to think of anyone else with the initials DB but no one else came to mind. Resigned to wait until 'DB' phoned, he got up from the table and went to put on a pot of coffee.

* * *

After turning on the coffee maker, Natalie went to the living room and opened the drapes, welcoming the start of a new day. She loved the early morning, when the day's agenda was still unknown and anything was possible. After peeking out the window at the pink sky, she turned and scanned the living room. Save for the blanket on the couch, the room looked as it always had; lived in but also _Monkishly_ neat. Yet Natalie felt _something _else; ephemeral and intangible, an impression of life and joy filled the room. Natalie went and sat on the couch and her thoughts went to Adrian; still upstairs, fast asleep. His gentleness and innocence completed her in a way she never expected and had given warmth to her house, making it a home.

Natalie gently ran her hand over the blanket on the couch and reminisced over the first time Adrian came to her home, so many years ago. Never could she have imagined the path they were on today, and it was all because of a little goldfish. Natalie shifted on the couch and looked across the room; there was Mr. Henry, number 7, swimming slow circles in his tank. In a flash of insightfulness, Natalie mused that when Mitch gave Mr. Henry to Julie all those years ago, he had also unknowingly cast a line into the future, bringing Adrian into Julie and Natalie's life. With her eyes still on Mr. Henry, Natalie suddenly uttered aloud, "Thank you, Mitchell Teeger."

Hearing the coffee pot gurgle, Natalie rose and gently pulled the blanket from the couch. After tossing it into the washing machine, she went and poured herself a mug of coffee. Settling in at the kitchen table, Natalie listened to the quiet sounds of the house and was overcome with gratefulness; her life couldn't be more complete.

~~~~MN~~~~~

About an hour later, Natalie looked to the staircase after hearing the familiar sound of Adrian coming down the steps. Natalie was momentarily stunned into silence as she watched him come into view-first black shoes, then dark grey-green khaki pants, a black belt then finally a simple black t-shirt. Adrian met her surprised gaze and, being ill-at-ease in his new clothes, sheepishly smiled a 'good morning'.

"Adrian- I love the new clothes!" Natalie rose and approached him, a broad grin on her face. She had always thought him handsome but, between his embarrassed smile and the athletic cut of the shirt and pants, she was completely enamored. "Look at you! I should have taken you shopping long ago!"

Much to Adrian's chagrin, she gushed over him like she had the time he wore the security guard uniform. Circling around him, Natalie playfully poked at him and commented on every detail of his clothes. He blushed self-consciously and shooed her away,"Please stop, Nat. Can't I just get some coffee in peace?"

"Help yourself to whatever you want, sexy-man," Natalie suggestively purred.

Adrian sighed, shifted his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Really, stop it," he gruffly muttered. He poured himself some coffee and tried to ignore Natalie's eyes still scrutinizing his every angle.

"Okay, I promise I'll stop if you acknowledge my well-deserved compliments and admit you look good." Natalie held her hands up in surrender, hoping he would believe he deserved such adoration. Instead, Adrian looked away and took a sip of his coffee. Natalie impatiently took his drink away and set it on the counter, determined to have his full attention. But Adrian continued to avert his eyes from her stare, uncomfortable with her compliments. Natalie placed her hand on his chest and leaned into his line of vision, "Adrian, look at me. You need to know that I really think you are incredibly handsome."

Adrian slowly met her gaze, an uncertainty in his eye and the blush further coloring his face. "Thank you, Natalie for your, you know, your compliments and-" his eyes flicked away and his voice faded as he unsuccessfully searched for how to continue. Adrian reached past Natalie for his drink and then stopped, slowly meeting her unwavering gaze. With a small hint of pride in his eyes, Adrian shyly murmured, "Thank you, Natalie."

"You're so welcome!" Natalie laughed and hugged him. She was delighted that he had accepted her words and looks of admiration, albeit grudgingly. Natalie knew that- since he had been raised to doubt his self-worth, Adrian's quiet 'thank you' was a great step in his confidence level. Releasing her hold on him, Natalie smiled and lightly pushed him towards the refrigerator, "Okay sexy-man, could you help me make breakfast? I'm starving!"

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

After breakfast, Natalie leaned against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed, proudly watching Adrian. Although he was methodically putting the dishes away, Natalie was still awed by how well he was dealing with the many changes in his life. Over breakfast, he hadn't fussed once about his attire (she didn't count the shoulder rolls and twitches as fussing) and, when she mentioned his apartment, there were no hysterics; after a completely understandable shudder, he calmly stated that today he would contact an exterminator and a cleaning service.

One thing that hadn't changed, however, was the detective's dedication to his work. Immediately after they finished eating, Adrian swiftly cleared the table and washed the dishes, impatient to go through the box which contained Spyder Rudner's personal effects. Natalie had asked Adrian to delay working and accompany her on some errands, but Adrian was adamant in his refusal.

"Natalie, I can't come shopping with you, I need to get started on Spyder's case."Carefully lining up the patterns on the plates, Adrian put the last of the breakfast dishes away with precision. He then looked at Natalie and tilted his head. "Besides, shouldn't you be staying home to _assist_ me?" She opened her mouth to reply but Adrian continued, "And I still don't understand why you feel compelled to throw Randy and Sharona a going-away party."

Natalie sighed slightly, an admonishing tone in her voice. "Adrian- In two days, Sharona is going back to New Jersey -_for good_. And Randy is going with her in hopes of finding a job out there. Soon he might also leave-_for good_. What's wrong with me throwing a little party for them tomorrow night?"

Adrian looked to his hands, a hesitation in his voice. "Nothing's wrong with it, but, umh-"he glanced up and a troubled look clouded his eyes, "I guess I just don't want to acknowledge that they're really, you know, leaving."

Natalie stepped in front of Adrian and her face softened; she hadn't considered it, but this was yet another change he was confronting. Adrian wasn't being insensitive_ to_ Randy and Sharona's leaving for New Jersey, rather he was overly sensitive to the departure of his friends. Running her hands over his shoulders, she clasped them behind his neck. "Well, it_ is_ a big change but we can adjust, right? I mean, since Randy's mom and Sharona's sister Gail still live here, Randy and Sharona will surely come back here to visit. And _we_ can always go to New Jersey to visit them."

"Yes, but- but you wouldn't make me fly, would you? I've flown before, but I _really_ hate it." Adrian glumly remembered being entombed in that metallic coffin on wings; no matter how many phobias he faced and conquered, heights plus enclosed places would always remain a bad combination.

"Let's compromise; when the time comes, we could _fly_ out but _drive _back."Natalie offered.

"Or _drive_ out but_ fly_ back?" Adrian countered, wanting to delay the flying portion of the journey until the last possible moment. "Or even drive both ways, or just stay here and wait for them to visit us?"

"Whichever makes you happy, Adrian," Natalie kissed him lightly and rolled her eyes dramatically as she let go of him. "So I guess I'm off to run errands _by myself-_"

"While_ I_ get to stay here and look through crime scene photos-" Adrian raised an eyebrow in return, a smirk on his face. "I could be wrong, but you'll probably have a better morning than me."

Their plans made, Adrian took Natalie's keys and retrieved the box from the car while Natalie ran upstairs to find a pair of shoes. When Natalie came back down, she found Adrian sitting in the dining room, several files already on the table.

Coming up behind him, Natalie put her hands on his shoulders and gave a light squeeze; a slight bit of tension, but not too bad. Natalie started to massage his shoulders, "Why don't you take everything into the living room and sit on the couch? You'll be more comfortable."

Adrian looked up, a sheepish smile crossing his face, "Nat, I'm fine here- it's, you know, less _distracting_."

Natalie barked an unexpected laugh, "Adrian, I'm going out. I won't be home to _distract_ you."

Adrian raised a hand to his head and tapped his temple, "I would still be distracted. You know, gift/curse."

Natalie 'hmphed' loudly and stopped rubbing his shoulders. She took a step to his side and tapped her foot on the linoleum, her hands on her hips.

Adrian looked up and met her playfully indignant stare. With a shy smile he added, "Definitely a gift, _this time_."

With a wink and snicker, Natalie leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Fine, I'm off then. Don't get distracted- focus on your work. "

Several minutes after Natalie left the house, Adrian looked up from the case file and glanced into the living room. Since Natalie had opened the curtains and removed the blanket from the couch, the room appeared as, as -_innocent?_ -as usual. But then again, the living room also somehow seemed more inviting. With a shake of his head, Adrian returned his attention to the case file, only to once again sneak a glimpse at the couch. It _would _be more comfortable. Adrian gathered up the box of files and went into the living room. Placing the box on the couch, he pulled the various files, books and papers out and lined them up on the coffee table. Adrian then placed the box beside the table and sat on the sofa. He gave into an overwhelming urge to close his eyes and sprawl back onto the couch. A smile immediately crept onto his face as his thoughts went to Natalie. After several minutes Adrian reluctantly opened his eyes and leaned forward. The smile faded from his lips as he opened a file on the table; he was now ready to concentrate on Spyder Rudner and the phrase '_He lost his family'_.

Unfortunately, Adrian would soon discover someone was concentrating on him _and_ the same exact phrase.

* * *

Peggy Davenport opened the cab's door and looked at Natalie's house, her spirit sinking. Although Natalie had not answered her phone earlier, Bobby had convinced her that they would find Natalie at home this morning. Now a feeling of dismay swept over Peggy, the empty driveway confirming Natalie's absence. Who knew how long they'd have to wait for her return. _Great,_ she thought,_ just one more thing to go horribly wrong_.

Peggy stood on the sidewalk and watched with impatience as Bobby and the cabbie retrieved the two pitiful suitcases from the trunk of the cab. Shaking her head, Peggy wondered how they had gotten into this mess. And, more importantly, how they would get out of it.


	6. 6 Coming Together

Chapter 6 Coming Together

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: While Natalie is out shopping for Randy & Sharona's going away party, Adrian stays home to study Spyder Rudner's case file. As the Davenports arrive at Natalie's house, more unwelcome problems come to light.

* * *

"Now what? She's not home Bobby!" Peggy grumbled, as she followed Bobby up the steep steps to Natalie's front porch. Although Bobby struggled carrying both bags, Peggy did not think to offer help. Instead she pulled her phone out and, after hitting redial, impatiently disconnected the call. "Bobby, I just called her number again and, once again, the call was forwarded to voice mail. This is a waste of time. She's probably off playing junior detective with Adrian."

Bobby Davenport looked to Peggy and gave his usual conciliatory smile, "Yes dear, you're probably right, but-" he set the bags down and loudly rapped on the door, "we're here, so it doesn't hurt to knock." When the door swung open, Bobby and Peggy turned and momentarily froze. It took a second for the Davenports to connect the familiar face with the unfamiliar, casual dress. In a blink, Bobby smiled in relief, "Adrian! I am so happy to see you. We need your help."

~~~~MN~~~~~

"Wait- start over, please. What happened?" Adrian sat on the sofa and cast a puzzled look between Bobby, who was seated in a chair across the coffee table, and Peggy, who was pacing behind Bobby. Without looking down, Adrian casually gathered Rudner's bloody crime scene photos and placed them and the files back into the box. Spyder's case would be delayed once again.

"Last night police came to our home and arrested us!" Peggy flailed her hands in the air, unable to contain her outrage. "They said _our _company, Davenport Industries, is involved in _money laundering_ and _racketeering _and charged us under the, umh, _ricko _statute? They evicted us from our home, only allowing us to pack two measly suitcases. They also froze our bank accounts, so we're basically broke."

"RICO statute?" Adrian looked to Bobby, who nodded his head in affirmation.

"We don't even know what that means, Adrian." Bobby confessed, holding Adrian's gaze.

"Basically, a RICO case deals with conspiracy between many defendants, so a closed Grand Jury is convened. If there's enough evidence, indictments for arrest are drawn up. Since the defendants are usually crime families or foreign nationals, after the warrants are served and the parties booked, all assets are frozen and passports revoked to prevent fleeing the jurisdiction." After his legal summary, the puzzled expression returned to Adrian's face and he looked between them, "But why didn't you call Natalie last night when you were arrested? We could have bailed you out last night."

"As you're well aware,_ criminals_ are only given one phone call. So Bobby called our lawyer, and I called Natalie, but my call was sent to voice mail." Annoyance filled Peggy's voice as she walked over to the phone. Looking at the phone's cradle, she huffed, "See? The phone's ringer is off and so is the answering machine. Why is that, Adrian?"

Adrian blankly stared at Peggy as he thought back; days ago Natalie had turned the house phone off and neither of them had thought to turn it back on. Since Natalie's cell phone was on, Adrian didn't notice the house phone's silence. "I'm sorry Peggy, I didn't realize-"

"Adrian, that's not important," Bobby interrupted. "Our lawyer, Jeff Roland, is out of the country, but he was able to get an associate to post bail for us early this morning. Jeff's coming home the day after tomorrow, but until then, what do we do?" Bobby sighed and glanced at Peggy, his voice becoming hushed. "Peggy doesn't want to tell any of our friends or neighbors about this, so we have nowhere to stay."

"Bobby, this is a scandal! I won't have people gossiping, or our name dragged through the mud!" Peggy lamented, plopping herself in the chair beside Bobby. She longed for a drink; any minute now she was going to start searching the cabinets for something, _anything_, alcoholic.

"Of course you can stay here with –_us." _Adrian watched as Peggy and Bobby exchanged a quick glance of surprise.

"You're living here? With Natalie?" Peggy's eyebrows knit together in disbelief. Natalie had told her parents that she and Adrian were dating, but Peggy had been doubtful. If anything, Peggy thought Natalie's involvement with Adrian was just a casual fling. After all, with all Adrian's phobias and issues, how could they be _seriously involved_?

"Here's the thing, I, uh, I had a problem with my apartment and so- I moved in-" Adrian stammered quietly.

"Adrian - Peg and I didn't realize that you and Nat were so, umh, _involved_. But that's fine, as long as you're good to Natalie and our little granddaughter," Bobby quickly shot Peggy a look, "Nat's happiness is what matters most."

A solemn smile crossed Adrian's face as he met Bobby's stern blue eyes. He fidgeted on the couch and laced his fingers together. "Yes sir, more than anything I want Natalie, and Julie, to be happy. I, I love them both and would do anything for them." Adrian shifted his eyes to Peggy and met her skeptical glare, "I do love them, Peggy."

Peggy looked away, dumbstruck by Adrian's unexpected admission of devotion. If he wasn't crazy with compulsions and phobias,_ maybe_ Adrian wouldn't be such a bad match for Natalie after all. It wouldn't be long though before Peggy would realize how much Adrian had changed.

Bobby gave an easy chuckle, his eyes sparkling as he squeezed Peggy's hand, "Well at least we heard some good news today, Peg." Bobby's smile faded and he turned back to Adrian, "I'm glad Natalie found you, Adrian, you're a good man. And we're sorry to just drop in and burden you with our problems but we need your help."

Adrian shook off Bobby's apology and went to the phone, "No burden, Bobby, I'm glad to be of service. Just let me call the Attorney General and get him to send over the case he's complied. Don't worry, we'll figure out what's going on."

After Adrian took the phone into the kitchen, Bobby pleaded with Peggy, "We're having enough problems Peg, so please don't fuss about our _accommodations_ here at Natalie's house. Or about Nat's relationship with Adrian. Whether we like it or not, Peg, Natalie is a grown woman and can do what she wants. Right?"

Peggy sighed heavily, too tired to fight. "Fine," she muttered as she let her eyes roam from the living room to the kitchen. She watched as Adrian paced while he spoke on the phone, a troubled look across his face. Even though Adrian was undoubtedly a genius, and yes, he had saved Jonathan's life, Adrian also had problems. Could he really take care of Natalie and Julie and make them happy?

Natalie entered the kitchen from the back door, her arms full of packages and a happy smile on her face. Peggy rose to greet Natalie but hesitated when Natalie, setting her bags down, immediately went to Adrian for a quick kiss 'hello'. Adrian nodded towards the living room and Natalie turned and stared questioningly at her parents. Peggy met her gaze and realized she and Natalie had a lot to talk about.

* * *

Sharona parked the rented car in front of her sister Gail's apartment building, her hands still shaking. Driving down a narrow street, a dump truck had pulled out from the curb in front of her, nearly sending her into oncoming traffic. Luckily she had started to brake a few seconds earlier, having seen a cat about to dart out onto the road. Sharona exited the car and mopped her brow, pushing images of 'what might have been' from her mind. "Thank you God- only one more day and Randy and I are on our way to Jersey."

* * *

Ralph Roberts, impatient with sitting around the house waiting, opened the door to the garage and his heart skipped; inside he found a black SUV with smoked windows. He laughed when he opened the door and found the keys in the ignition. After getting in, Roberts searched the glove box and under the seats and found another surprise; a _fully-loaded_ surprise. He shook his head gleefully; the benefactor _had_ thought of everything. Pulling the car out onto the driveway, Roberts suddenly remembered the cell phone in the kitchen. He turned the car off and ran inside, only to have the phone start ringing as soon as he picked it up.

"Hello? Who is this?" Roberts asked excitedly, ready to meet DB.

The gruff voice on the line ignored his questions and gave Roberts an address in a rundown part of town. "Meet me there tonight at midnight and we'll discuss our mutual friend, Adrian Monk." After this curt message, the phone went dead.

Roberts pocketed the cell phone and changed his mind about going into town. Instead, he went back outside, wanting to further explore the property. He found a dirt road behind the garage and followed it through a small patch of woods out to an open field. On one side of the field was a boarded-up old cabin, complete with a front porch and a sturdy hitching post before it. On the far side of the field, the dirt road continued, providing a secret exit from the property.

Roberts laughed aloud as ideas fell into place. This location would change Adrian Monk's life.

* * *

Considering the added presence of Bobby and Peggy, it was an unusually quiet night at Natalie's house. Peggy found a bottle of wine and sat at the kitchen table angrily mumbling to herself while Bobby sat in the living room, rereading the same page in a magazine. Natalie passed the evening going back and forth between her parents, unsuccessful at getting them to come together and talk.

And, once again, Adrian sat on the couch looking at case files. Boxes and boxes, nine in all, had been sent from the Attorney General's office and detailed the Davenport's alleged illegal activities. Adrian didn't waste any time delving in, looking for inaccuracies and inconsistencies. As it neared midnight, Bobby and Peggy had long since turned in, leaving Natalie and Adrian alone in the living room.

Natalie sat next to Adrian and rested her head on his shoulder. She gently tugged at the file in his hand, "That's enough for tonight, sweetie. It's time for bed."

Adrian flipped the page and kept reading, "Nat, I have four more boxes to get through- I can't stop yet."

Natalie pulled the file from his hand and tossed it on the table, "Excuse me Adrian but you need to stop- right now." Natalie placed a hand on his chin and turned his face towards hers. With a tired smile she gave him a light kiss, "That's a direct order from your assistant, so you better listen."

After straightening up the living room, Natalie and Adrian went around and turned off all the downstairs lights. They met at the foot of the stairs and, standing in the dark, they embraced.

"Nat?" Adrian untangled himself from her arms, "What about, you know, your parents? It's a little unnerving having them stay here with us. What will they think about _us_-" His voice became hushed, "-sleeping together in the same bed?"

"It doesn't matter what they think, Adrian. This is _our_ home and _they_ are our guests. We're adults and we love each other and, well, if they don't like it-they can just leave." The serious look disappeared from her face and Natalie whispered seductively, "Besides, we can be _very_ quiet."

"Natalie, ah, maybe we shouldn't, hmm, make, you know, love, while they're here." Adrian regretfully suggested as he made circling motions with his hands.

"No way, mister! We have every right of express our love!"

"Nat, they're right down the hall!"

Natalie saw the concern in Adrian's eyes and decided not to push him too much- tonight. Tomorrow would be here soon enough and besides, with her man Adrian on the case, her parents would surely be exonerated quickly. She kissed him lightly on the lips and took his hand, "Come on. We need some sleep."

"Sleep?"

"Yes Adrian, sleep." Natalie climbed a step and tugged his hand.

"As in sleep. Close your eyes, sleep, wake up in the morning, sleep?" Adrian narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

Natalie giggled. "Yes, I promise. We'll sleep tonight but-" she raised her eyebrows, "just remember we need to make up for it later."

Adrian slyly grinned and quietly followed Natalie up the dark steps; he would definitely remember and, after Peggy and Bobby returned to their own house, _he_ would take the initiative to make it up to Natalie.

With Natalie and Adrian safely tucked away upstairs in their bedroom, the house fell silent. Downstairs, lights splashed across the empty living room as a large SUV sped up the street, on its way to a midnight meeting.

* * *

AN- Please take a minute and leave a critique -I appreciate the feedback! Thanks;)

~Next chapter-The nefarious Ralph Roberts meets his accomplice and Natalie and Peggy spend some quality time together.


	7. 7 Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 7 Calm Before the Storm

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Thanks for the reviews and PMs. Ya'll are great!

~Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, FF was being goofy.

A special thank you to Monkwriter for the critical eye and the wise advice! ;)

* * *

The SUV crept down the dark, desolate alley as Ralph Roberts scanned the side of the abandoned warehouse, looking for the entrance. He flipped on the high beams and the open garage door leading into the building suddenly came into view. Roberts parked the SUV, exited his vehicle and listened. Although the warehouse itself was dark and seemed quiet, various sounds- random shouts, glass breaking, dogs barking and, was that gunfire?-were heard in the distance. This neighborhood had quite a reputation; it was so dangerous, even the police wouldn't patrol here. In short, it was the perfect location for Roberts' purpose.

Although he was standing alone in the moonlight, Roberts did not feel nervous. The benefactor _really_ had thought of everything; earlier today, he had found a SIG-Sauer 9mm handgun stashed under the front seat of the SUV. He now pulled the gun from his waistband and slowly entered the building. Roberts looked around and noticed the dim outline of a car in the middle of the open floor-plan. Roberts realized this building use to be an automotive repair garage. He raised his gun and ventured, "Who's there?"

Bright lights snapped on, momentarily blinding Roberts. He blinked rapidly and brought his free hand up to shield his eyes. With growing concern, his voice quivered, "Who's there?"

"Ralph, put your weapon down. Now." A gruff voice ordered.

As Roberts' eyes adapted to the light, he dropped his hand and tentatively let his gun rest by his side. Before him was a middle-aged man, leaning against the trunk of his car. He had dark hair, dark eyes, average looks, average height, and average weight- _average_ _everything_- someone you wouldn't look at twice. But the car he was resting against was a one-of-a kind, absolute beauty. A 1969 Pontiac GTO with Rally II wheels, a spoiler on the trunk and tri-colored side body stripes in various shades of blue. This was a dream car- and Roberts wasn't even a car aficionado. After his fleeting appraisal of the car, Roberts' attention returned to the man, "Who are you?"

The dark haired man had a broad smirk on his face, "My name is Damien Beck, but I've used many aliases." He rested his hand on the trunk of his car and Roberts noticed the logo emblazoned on the back of the GTO. In dark cursive, the decal plainly proclaimed: '_The Judge_.'

Reading the logo, Roberts caught his breath. Over many conversations, Dale Beiderbeck had gleefully told Roberts all the details of Trudy Monk's case, including Adrian's obsession over someone called 'The Judge'. Roberts' was amazed to see that nickname boldly displayed on the back of the car and realized it couldn't be a coincidence. Ralph Roberts scrutinized Damien Beck and noticed a familiarity in Beck's facial features; his strong brow line, the shape and color and cold, dead expression of his eyes, the contour of his nose. Discounting the difference in weight, there was some resemblance between 'Dale the Whale' and the man who stood before him.

Roberts tilted his head, "Damien _Beck_? Are you related to Dale Beider-?"

Pushing off of the car, Damien strode up to Roberts and snarled, "HEY! We are not here to talk about The Big Man. The only thing you need to know is - I'm here to help you."

Roberts couldn't help himself; he was too curious, "Are you _The Judge_ from the Trudy Monk case?"

Beck unexpectedly grabbed Roberts by the throat, "Focus, Roberts. I am here-" Beck's fingers were a vice, tightening quickly, "-to help you enact your revenge against the world's best detective. Period." With a cold satisfaction, Beck let go when Roberts' eyes bulged with panic.

Rubbing his throat, Roberts retreated several steps and rasped, "_Why_ are you helping me?"

Beck snickered and opened his arms wide, "Adrian Monk has long been a thorn in the side of many people and his downfall would greatly amuse - _the powers that be_."

Beck led Roberts into a small office off the main room and sat down at a table. There were more surveillance pictures scattered across the table top. Damien picked up a photo of Peggy and Bobby Davenport and tossed it to Roberts. "First let me tell you what's already been done to Monk and his family and then you can tell me about your plans. Agreed?"

Roberts sat and nodded in agreement; Beck _was_ terrifying, but he was going to be a very useful ally.

* * *

Squinting into the bright morning sunlight, Natalie kept quiet as Peggy shuffle into the kitchen and down four aspirin in one gulp. Peggy had had too much to drink the night before and was obviously suffering this morning. Not that Natalie was about to lecture her mother. After Peggy poured herself some coffee and sat at the kitchen table, Natalie softly ventured, "How are you feeling, Mom?"

"Awful," Peggy gave her a baneful smile.

"Things will be okay, Mom. You'll see. Adrian will figure out how this happened and-"

Peggy cut her off, "I know honey, I, I don't want to talk about it, or even think about what's happening to your father and me, okay?"

Natalie gave her an unsure smile, not knowing what else to say. Her mother had always bravely 'soldiered on' no matter what the hardship, but today Peggy seemed beaten down. Natalie stared at her hands. Reassuring, useless clichés formed, and then died- on the tip of her tongue.

"Natalie, where _is _Adrian?" Peggy croaked, expecting him to be in the living room on the couch, buried in the case files.

"He's out for a run." Noticing Peggy's quizzical look, Natalie continued, "He runs every other day- it's a routine he got into when he was reinstated."

"Adrian has _a routine_?" Peggy's face stiffened and her voice took on an ominous tone, "Natalie, I need to talk to you about something _important."_

"Sure, Mom, what's up?" Natalie's stomach began to churn; Peggy's_ important_ talks were never pleasant.

"I'm concerned with you- being with Adrian." Peggy immediately held up her hand, "Natalie, listen. Over the years you've told both me and your father horror stories about Adrian's compulsions and phobias and-"

Now it was Natalie's turn to interrupt. She stood up and lightly tapped herself on the chest with her open hand, "And I never should have done that, it was stupid of me. But Mom-" Natalie came closer to Peggy and sat on the edge of the table, "He's changed so much in these last few years. Yes, he sometimes struggles with some _small_ issues but, he's worth it. He's loving and honorable and genuine- he truly is the best man I've ever known.

"Our falling in love is a blessing and a miracle. We complete each other in ways I never dreamed and-" tears gathered in Natalie's eyes, "I can't imagine living without him."

Natalie rubbed her tears away and smiled, "Oh, and Julie-_ he_ _loves Julie_. He would do anything for her and she, Mom, Julie_ adores_ him. Did you know she calls him _dad?_ So, you don't need to be concerned or worried about me being with Adrian. Okay Mom?" Natalie squeezed Peggy's hand.

Peggy tightened her grip on Natalie's hand and shook her head. "Natalie, you're still young and hopeful, and right now everything seems wonderful. You think love can conquer all problems. Just because Adrian is wearing different clothes doesn't mean his OCD is cured. Have you really considered everything? Can he really take care of you and Julie?"

"Mom, I just told you his OCD is under control- and, yes, I've considered everything. He's a good man and he does take care of Julie and me!" Natalie dropped Peggy's hand, stood up and poured herself a cup of coffee. With a sigh, she placed the untouched coffee in the sink and turned to face her mother. Natalie lowered her voice, "Mom, You need to give Adrian a chance."

Her headache worsening, Peggy rubbed her brow. "Listen Natalie, I will give Adrian a chance- I have nothing against him. I know he's a good man. But, I'm just saying this for your own good. Think about what you're doing. I want you to have a _normal _life with a _normal_ man."

"Hold on. What do you mean by '_normal'_, Mom?" Natalie returned to the table and sat across from Peggy. What did her rich-socialite, tennis-playing mother consider normal?

"I mean being able to do normal things couples do; go out to eat, walk on the beach, have _him_ drive_ you_ places, have a picnic at the park and, I don't know, how about have milk in the house? Natalie, you know- _normal _things."

Natalie fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Mom, besides the milk thing, Adrian has done all those things for me. And since I don't particularly like milk, I know I'm not missing anything _normal_."

Peggy hesitated, "And his fear of germs and human contact? That doesn't interfere with, umh, _intimat_e _relations_?"

"Mom, you're worried about our _sex life_?" Natalie blushed slightly as she met her mother's steadfast gaze.

"Blame it on my advanced years for being so bold to say this, but Natalie, you're not my teenage daughter anymore. When you _were_ a teenage, I never wanted you to even think about sex. But now, as your father was kind enough to point out to me, you're not a child; you are a mature woman who deserves to be happy." Peggy shifted in her seat but kept her eyes locked on Natalie. "I don't think you should miss out on an important part of a relationship because of Adrian's fear of germs."

Natalie felt her blush deepen and she brought her hand to her mouth, attempting to suppress a laugh."Oh, Mom, you don't have to worry, he's not afraid of _my_ germs. I'm not missing out."

With an incredulous look on her face, Peggy scanned Natalie's amused expression, "So you're, ahh, you're sex life is _good_?"

Natalie merrily rolled her eyes and snickered, "_So good_!"

"Natalie Jane!" Peggy attempted a scolding tone but instead it came out a giggle.

"Peggy Marie!" Natalie shot back, bursting out laughing. The dark clouds had vacated the kitchen and Natalie was enjoying this unexpected moment of silliness.

Peggy wiped her eyes as tears began to fall through her laughter, "Thank you Natalie, I needed that."

Natalie was now in stitches and, unable to stop herself, slapped her hand on the table and cackled, "That's what he said!"

Peggy covered her face and howled, "Natalie Jane!"

Natalie stumbled from her chair and went and threw her arms around her mother, tears of laughter still flowing. "Peggy Marie."

Peggy grabbed a napkin and wiped her face as Natalie sunk to the floor and laid her head in Peggy's lap. They both sighed as their laughter subsided and they collected their thoughts. Peggy ran her hand through Natalie's hair and murmured thickly, "Really, Natalie, thank you."

"Anytime, Mom."Natalie whispered.

After a minute, Natalie rose from the floor and returned to her chair, "Mom, I can't believe you brought that up." After a pause, Natalie gave her mother a confused look, "Wait, why _did_ you bring it up? I mean, you know Adrian is living with me- what made you think we weren't being intimate?"

"I found one of his suits and some of his dress shirts in the closet and assumed he was sleeping in the guest room."

"Oh! No, those clothes have been in there for ages. I put them in there a few years ago in case he, umh, ever had to go on the run again. You remember, don't you, when Adrian was set up by Dale Beiderbeck and that whole mess?"

Peggy sobered and shook her head, "How could I forget? First Adrian became a fugitive and then we thought he had been killed. That was such an awful experience. Hmm, there's never a dull moment with him around, is there?"

"Nope, I've learned to expect the unexpected."

* * *

A/N~Natalie, alas, can not possibly expect what's about to happen~cue the ominous music once again SpaceCadet!

FYI- For those of you who are not gearheads (car aficionados) - the Pontiac GTO '_Judge_' was a limited edition production of the GTO line. It was only built between 1969-1971, coming at the tail end of the muscle car era. The slogan for this car was-_'The_ _Judge can be bought'._


	8. 8 Connections

Chapter 8 Connections

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: In celebration of today's most_ Monkish_ date -10/10/10- here's Monday's chapter a day early. ;)

Thanks for the reviews and PM's ~ Ya'll are great! ;)

* * *

Still seated at the kitchen table, Peggy and Natalie were deep in conversation when Adrian returned from his run. He closed the back door and Natalie abruptly became distracted, her mother's presence forgotten. In mere seconds her eyes swept over him, absorbing every detail: his sinewy calves, the black lightweight shorts that skimmed the muscles of his thighs, the sweat-stained grey t-shirt that clung to his stomach and lower back, the sheen of moisture that covered his skin, the healthy glow in his cheeks- Natalie snapped out her reverie when she noticed the look on his face. The _unmistakable_ _Look_. "You solved the case, didn't you?"

Adrian grabbed a small towel from a pile beside the dryer and mopped his face. With a shift of his shoulder he lamented, "Spyder's case, yeah. I should have solved it days ago."

Tossing the towel directly in the washing machine, Adrian went to the living room and grabbed Spyder's box, intent on confirming a fact from the case. Peggy remained at the kitchen table but Natalie got up and followed him, her eyes playing over his back and arms. Since Adrian had kept up with the rigorous training that had been needed to get his badge back, his body was now lean, the taut muscles defined. Natalie had to confess she enjoyed his new physique- how his sweaty shirt clung to his flat stomach, how tight the sleeve of his shirt was along his bicep as he pulled open the box, how the-

"Excuse me, Nat."

Natalie watched in disappointment as Adrian stepped around her, careful not to brush his sweaty body against her. She loved how, since he was completely focused on Spyder's case, he could overlook his dishevelment; she, however, wasn't overlooking it. And she wouldn't have minded one bit if he grabbed her and-

"-is the guy." He placed a file on the dining room table and flipped it open, his brown eyes glimmering with satisfaction.

"What? Who's _the guy_?" Natalie asked impatiently, blinking her daydream from her eyes.

"Natalie, weren't you paying attention? CO Joe Martin, the guard who escorted me through the prison. He's _the guy_. Martin was the last guard to account for Spyder's cell-time, knew which security cameras to avoid and which were malfunctioning and, of course, his keys gave him free access to where Spyder was killed." Adrian scanned the file, confirming that Martin had indeed been the charge officer of Spyder's cell-block during the shift before the murder. He was definitely _the guy._

She cleared her throat, "Hmm, is there anything else?" Natalie attempted to keep her focus as she watched a small bead of sweat slowly roll down his neck. She cast a furtive glance at Peggy and wondered how she might get her parents out of the house for a while.

"Only the most obvious clue- Spyder left his shiv in his cell. Only one reason for Spyder not to carry protection; a guard had him in custody. Here's what happened; the guard, Martin, escorted Spyder from his cell to the empty hallway. We'll never know for sure, but chances are Martin and Spyder were involved in something illegal, like smuggling contraband into the prison. So Spyder went with the guard willingly. I'm sure Rudner never expected Martin do his own fighting and attack him. Afterwards, the guard hid the murder weapon among all the other confiscated weapons and took the back corridors to return to the guard's locker room. The prison officials conducting the investigation didn't really questioned Martin's alibi because, as usual in prison murders, they assumed the perpetrator was a fellow inmate."

Adrian reached for the phone and called Warden Connors at the penitentiary. After relaying his information and asking several questions, Adrian disconnected the call with an exasperated sigh. "Well, Joe Martin called out from work today, taking an emergency leave of absence. The warden's going to send someone to his house but, my bet is he's either skipped town or he's dead. So the question now becomes- who paid him to kill Spyder?"

Natalie ran her hand across his back, feeling his taut muscles under the dampness of his shirt. She let out a quiet sigh, "Let's think about that question later. First get out of these clothes and take your shower and then, _ahh_, I'll feed you. Okay?"

After Adrian went upstairs, Natalie joined her mother back in the kitchen. "Don't worry Mom, now that _that_ case is out of the way, he'll solve your case."

"I know he will, honey." Peggy rose and went to the stairs, "I'm off to do some reading, see you in a bit."

"Hey Mom? Could you do me a favor?" Natalie failed at keeping a straight face, breaking into a grin, "Could you get Dad and take my car and run a few errands for me? We still need a few things for Randy and Sharona's going away party. _And then_-" Natalie snickered, "You and Dad can also go out and enjoy a long, leisurely lunch?"

"Natalie Jane, are you trying to get us out of the house for the_ entire _afternoon?" Peggy shook her head in amusement at her blushing daughter. She held out her hand, palm up, and sighed dramatically, "Fine, but your poor parents are broke. You'll need to give me some money."

Natalie immediately grabbed her purse and handed over a stack of bills, the shopping list and her car keys. After Bobby and Peggy left the house, Natalie hustled upstairs. Adrian didn't know it yet, but a leisurely, distracting afternoon awaited.

* * *

Shading her eyes from the glare of the setting sun, TK shifted in the passenger seat and faced her husband. As he concentrated on navigating the car down the narrow streets to Natalie's house, TK placed her hand on her husband's knee and gave a squeeze. "Leland, maybe you could wait and tell Adrian about Dr. Bell tomorrow morning? No talking shop tonight. After all, this is supposed to be a party for Randy and Sharona, right?"

Leland shot a quick look at his bride and let out a breath. "I know, dear. But I can't get over this thing with Dr. Bell. When Officer Diaz from SVU informed me that a woman was pressing charges against Neven Bell for battery, I couldn't believe it. I still don't believe it. Bell would never-" The Captain's thought fell away and he shook his head in disbelief, "But somebody hurt that poor girl. Why would she lie?"

"I don't know Leland but I'm sure you'll figure it out- tomorrow. Let's not ruin Randy and Sharona's last night in San Francisco talking about unpleasant things. I know Adrian should be told, but can't it wait one day?"

Leland grew silent as he parked the car. He noticed Sharona's rental car in Natalie's driveway, "Hey, it looks like we're late. The guests of honor are already here."

"Well, Leland? Can Dr. Bell's case wait one night?" TK pleaded with her eyes.

"I guess it can, dear. Okay, I won't mention it to Monk. No talking shop tonight!"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

TK left Leland in the living room with Adrian, Sharona and Randy and went to say hello to Natalie. TK approached the kitchen counter as Natalie prepared additional snacks for the party. "Can I help you, Natalie?"

"No thanks TK, I've got it." With food spread out all over the counter top, Natalie was methodically arranging a platter of fruit. By color _and _size of course.

"I'm surprised Adrian isn't in here, making sure everything is even." TK teased as she leaned against the counter.

Natalie smiled over her shoulder at her friend and laughed, "He's learned to accept imperfection from me!"

TK looked back into the living room and shook her head; Leland and Adrian were in an animated discussion. TK could tell they weren't talking about Dr. Bell because Adrian looked happy. Meeting Natalie gaze, TK held up her wine glass in a toast, "Thank goodness they accept our flaws- because we accept theirs!" Her voice suddenly became hushed and took on a conspiratorial tone, "So Natalie, with Adrian moving in with you, it seems like things are really serious. Do you think you two might get married?"

"I don't know. He hasn't mentioned marriage, and I don't want to push him." Natalie sighed. TK gave her a questioning look and Natalie continued, "I think maybe he feels like it might be disloyal to Trudy. You know, since he hasn't solved her case."

"Oh Natalie, I'm sorry to hear that. But are you sure? Maybe_ you_ should bring it up." TK touched Natalie's arm.

"No, if I'm right, he feels guilty enough as it is; I don't want him to also feel bad over denying me marriage. Truthfully, for me it's enough that we're together." Natalie washed and dried her hands, ready to rejoin the party.

"Yeah, I understand." TK put her wineglass by the sink; she was Leland's designated driver and one glass was her limit. "Natalie? Not to pry, but with Julie grown and considering you're still a young woman- didn't you want to have more children? Despite his, you know, _quirks,_ I think Adrian would be a great father."

Natalie smiled brightly, "He really would be; he's been a great father to Julie." With her smile fading, Natalie continued, "But to be honest, I'm not even sure I could have more children. It took me over a year to get pregnant with Julie, and after she was born, Mitch and I tried to have another baby but it never happened. Thanks for saying I'm still young TK, but you know I'm 42. It would be a miracle if I got pregnant." A miracle she hadn't wanted years ago, when she was casually dating. Hence the birth control pills Adrian had embarrassingly pointed out during the Mr. Henry case. Pills she didn't bother to take now.

Momentarily saddened by the unlikelihood of giving Adrian a child of his own, Natalie felt a tightness in her chest. While Adrian loved Julie like a daughter, he missed out on her first ten years. Adrian deserved to experience the joy of holding his own baby, of hearing the first words, seeing the first steps, the first day of school and every moment in between. If only there were miracles.

TK suddenly smirked, "But it would be fun trying!"

Remembering her afternoon encounter with Adrian, Natalie's mood brightened, "It's fun anyway!"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Although the farewell celebration at Natalie's house was still going strong, Sharona tapped Adrian on the arm and motioned for him to follow her. They stepped out onto the quiet front porch and Sharona immediately plopped onto the swing. She good-naturedly snickered when Adrian touched the mailbox, trying to make it perfectly level. Some things never changed. Sharona patted the porch swing and a melancholy smile came her face. "Hey Adrian, come here and sit with me a minute."

He sat and noticed her mood, "What's the matter?"

"I'm just feeling a little sentimental. I've had so much fun spending time with you and the Captain this past week, it was like old times. I'm really going to miss you guys." Sharona pushed against Adrian's shoulder with her own, setting the swing into a sideways motion.

"You and Randy _could_ stay if you wanted," Adrian suggested as he planted his feet on the floor to stop the swing's movement.

"No, I can't. I have a great job and house there, Benji is going to Rutgers College, and I also have to help take care of my mom; she's not getting any younger you know. Randy understands that I need to stay in New Jersey and I'm so happy he's willing to move for me. Adrian, you do understand, don't you?"

Adrian nodded and looked to his folded hands, "I do, but I'm really going to miss you and Randy."

"Thanks, boss, we're going to miss you too." Sharona took a deep breath and unexpectedly snorted, "Adrian? Can I make a confession to you?"

"I'd rather you didn't"

"Ugh, Adrian Monk, this is important! Please just listen to me." Sharona lightly smacked Adrian on the arm.

"_Ouch,"_ Adrian winced.

Sharona raise her eyebrow and gave Adrian _the look,_ "Oh quit the dramatics Adrian. I'm trying to be serious here."

"Sorry," Adrian mumbled, "go ahead."

"I actually wanted to apologize to you-"

"What? Apologize to me? Why?" Adrian turned to face Sharona, his eyebrows knit together in disbelief.

"Adrian, I can't help but think that I didn't help you as much as I could have and that I was too hard on you."

"Sharona_, you _saved _my life_. You pulled me through the darkness, you never gave up even though I had- I'm only here now because of _you_!" Adrian reached over and took Sharona's hand, "I could never thank you enough for all that you've done for me."

Sharona looked at his hand in surprise, "_You_ want to thank _me_? You don't hate me for abandoning you?"

Adrian smirked, knowing that she was astonished that he had willingly taken her hand. "I could never hate you. I understand why you left the way you did." With a quick squeeze, he released her hand and settled back on the swing.

Sharona noticed his content expression and smiled, "You know, I'm really glad you and Natalie found one another. She's really good for you. I can see how happy she's made you."

Hit with a sudden jolt of emotion, Adrian felt tears gather in his eyes, "I never thought I would fall in love again, but, it just happened. All of a sudden, with Natalie and Julie, I have a family. I-" Adrian stopped and looked away, his voice gone.

Sharona rubbed his back and gently teased, "Hey, don't be getting all sappy on me. You know I have no tolerance for mushy stuff, so you better stop."

Covering his face with his hands, Adrian pressed his fingertips against his eyelids and took several deep breathes. "I know- suck it up."

"Yep, suck it up." Sharona quietly repeated and rested her head against his shoulder. She listened to his shaky breathing, and when it finally normalized, Sharona lifted her head, "Not to get you all weepy again, but, when are you gonna ask her to marry you? I know you want to, I can tell."

A blush heating his cheeks, Adrian sheepishly admitted, "As soon as I figure out, you know, _how_ to ask."

Sharona rolled her eyes, "Boy, you making a major decision on your own? That could take forever!"

"I know; normally I would ask Natalie what to do, but-" Adrian's words tapered off and he shrugged his shoulders. Knowing that he only had one chance- only one - at the perfect proposal, he was paralyzed. He almost hoped Natalie might recognize his indecision and raise the topic of marriage. Maybe she could even do the proposing? -No, Adrian wanted to ask her. But how? It was too overwhelming. Sharona's voice suddenly cut through his thoughts.

"You can't ask her, Adrian! Listen, Natalie's very sweet and understanding-" Sharona laughed, "Heck she'd have to be to be to put up with your silliness. But anyway, it doesn't matter how you propose; I know she'll say yes. Don't worry about making it perfect or _symmetrical-" _She snickered,"Just do it. That's an order!" Sharona lightly shoved his shoulder.

Adrian folded his hands together and chuckled, "Okay, _Boss_."

Sharona poked him in the side, "Keep me informed and I'll bring Benji back for the wedding! Meanwhile, how about we rejoin the party?"

Adrian nodded and they stood and walked to the front door. Adrian put his hand on the door knob but Sharona clamped her hand on his wrist and pulled it away. He turned to Sharona and she immediately threw her arms around him, "I'm going to miss you, Adrian Monk."

Adrian fell into the embrace wholeheartedly, "I'm going to miss you too, Sharona Flemming."

* * *

Although it was late, Julie energetically packed up her backpack. She was so relieved to have finished doing research for her term paper, thankful to have found a quiet place to work. Since most of the other students were off at fraternity and sorority parties across campus, the library had been nearly empty. She tugged her backpack over her shoulder, pushed through the glass door, and skipped down the concrete steps.

She heard the festive sounds coming from 'fraternity alley' and wished she had gone to a party tonight. Not a frat party, but the party her mom was throwing for Sharona and Lt. Disher. Julie had to confess that if Benji had been at the party, she definitely would not have been studying tonight.

Julie walked the deserted campus and giggled as she thought about Benji, not paying attention to the dark SUV pulling up beside her. She heard a car door slam and then a man's voice, "Excuse me Miss, are you Julie Teeger?"

Julie stopped in her tracks and looked at the approaching man. He was bald and well-dressed and appeared to be pulling an ID from his pocket. "I'm Julie Teeger, what do you want?"

The bald man came closer and Julie could see his sober brown eyes. He quickly flashed what looked like a badge and returned it to his pocket. "I'm Lt. Davis. I need you to come with me, your mother and Adrian Monk have been in an accident."

"What happened? Are they alright? Where are they?" The backpack fell from Julie's shoulder. She numbly watched as he picked up her bag and then let him lead her to the SUV.

"I don't have any details, just come with me, Julie." He opened the door and motioned for her to get in.

Julie climbed in and searched her pockets for her phone. She realized it was in her backpack and turned to the officer as soon as he got into the vehicle, "I need my phone to call my grandparents!"

The bald man tossed the backpack into the back seat and quickly grabbed Julie by the wrist. He twisted her arm forcefully and pulled her toward him, a menacing look in his eye."You're not calling anyone."

"You're not a Cop!" Julie cried out and struggled but the man hastily pulled a cloth from his pocket and shoved it over her mouth and nose. Julie attempted to turn her head but wasn't quick enough; she inhaled a bitter smell and suddenly everything began to spin. She was falling into lethargy, grayness and then all went black.

Roberts returned the chloroformed-soaked cloth to his pocket and then pulled a set of handcuffs from another pocket. After securing Julie's wrists, Roberts aimed the SUV towards the abandoned building. A huge smile played on his lips; it had begun.

* * *

A/N- Hold on gang, things are about to get dicey.


	9. 9 Adrian's Nightmare

Chapter 9 Adrian's Nightmare

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Julie's been kidnapped, Dr. Bell accused of a heinous crime and the Davenports are facing prosecution. What else can happen to Adrian's friends and family?

Sorry for the late posting and any typos~ I've been fighting a bloody migraine. :(

* * *

Twenty minutes late for work, Leland quietly groaned to himself as he stiffly walked through the squad room. Although he had taken a handful of aspirin when he crawled out of bed, he was still suffering from a fierce hangover. Last night, Natalie's party had gone on later than expected and, surprisingly enough since Monk was involved, the alcohol was premium and plentiful. At Natalie's party there was no need to have only one designated-drinker. When TK volunteered to be Leland's designated driver, the Captain resolved to fully celebrate Randy and Sharona's impending departure. But this morning, he was regretting that decision.

Leland paused when he reached Randy's desk, scanning the now-barren work area. All case files had been cleared away and all personal items had been removed. All that remained was a phone, a computer monitor and an empty wire in-box. The Captain ran his hand over the marred desktop and felt an emptiness suddenly open up inside him. This really was not a good morning.

Grabbing a cup of coffee, Leland proceeded to his office, hoping for an easy, crime-free day. The Captain dropped into his chair and stared at his desktop. His in-box was nearly empty. _Good._ There was only one 'while you were out' post-it note by the phone. _Very good_. And in the center of the desk was a manila envelope, labeled- _**Private and **__**Confidential.**_

"What the hell?" Leland grumbled, pulling the contents from the envelope.

It was the pending complaint against Dr. Bell.

Lt. Diaz, the investigating officer, was aware of Neven Bell's relationship with Mr. Monk and sent over the case file to the Captain as a courtesy. The girl, Brandi Bender, had made a positive identification of Bell and provided compelling details. Diaz knew he had an airtight case against the psychiatrist. But then after questioning Bell and listening to Bell's pleas of innocence, Lt. Diaz had a gut feeling that something might be amiss. Diaz actually felt bad when he locked Bell in the holding cell. Diaz was hoping that, if there were discrepancies in the case, Mr. Monk would uncover them.

"Well Doc, looks like I have some free time for you," Leland muttered aloud as he rose from his desk. Tucking the file under his arm, he turned the light off in his office and headed over to Natalie and Adrian's house.

* * *

There was only one thought when she came to- Why am I in so much pain? Everything ached; her head, her arms, her wrists, her hip. Opening her eyes, the cold, grey room gradually came into focus. Julie was lying on a dirty, concrete floor and the only thing in the room was an old, metal work table. For some unknown reason, her hands were handcuffed together. Mustering all her strength, she pushed herself upright into a sitting position. Although her vision was still swimming, Julie tried to figure out what had happened. Last night gradually came back to her.

She remembered studying at the library, how peaceful and quiet it had been. Then, after leaving the library, she had walked through the deserted campus towards her dorm. _Wait_! A police officer stopped- to give her a ride, but, but, _he wasn't a policeman_. She could picture the man's brown eyes; they were ablaze with hatred. He grabbed her by the wrist, jerking her arm and pulling her forward. Then she went blank; Julie couldn't remember anything else.

Julie gingerly got up and went to the only door leading out of the room. She pulled and twisted the doorknob but it didn't budge; the door was locked from the outside. There_ was _a window that faced into the building and, as she peered through it, Julie saw a cavernous garage: scattered around the open room was a metal storage shelf filled with boxes and a number of mechanic's tools. She realized this was an abandoned auto-repair garage. Julie touched the window and could tell it was a thick, safety glass. Hoping the handcuffs might fracture the glass, Julie banged on the window until her hands were shaking in pain. She walked several circles around the room before huddling in the corner beneath the table. Julie lowered her head, her curtain of blonde hair blocking out the reality of the situation. There was no way out.

* * *

Leland arrived at Natalie's house just before 9 am and his black demeanor warned Adrian that this was not a social call. Standing in the foyer with Adrian, the Captain sadly shook his head and reluctantly relayed that Dr. Bell's had been accused of battering a woman. "Monk, we both know this has got to be wrong. Dr. Bell could _never_ have done this. But, unless we prove otherwise, he _migh_t go to jail. _And_, until he's cleared, you know he can't see patients; his license had been suspended. "

Adrian snatched the case file from Leland's hand, his voice rising in disbelief, "Why didn't he call me?"

"This all happened yesterday afternoon, Monk. You know he had to wait until this morning to get processed through the system. He first had to call his lawyer to get bailed out. I'm sure he'll be calling you soon enough, requesting your help."

Adrian paced around the living room as he looked over the case against Dr. Bell. His agitation apparent, Adrian flipped the pages and muttered, "I don't believe it, it can't be true." With a shift of his shoulder, Adrian turned to Natalie.

"Natalie, why don't you stay here and continue looking through the files?" Adrian motioned to the remaining unopened boxes that contained evidence against her parents. "You can have Bobby and Peggy help you. - I'll go with Leland to try and figure out what's happening with Dr. Bell." Adrian still had Neven's case file open in his hand, a pained look across his face. Although Peggy and Bobby were in a lot of trouble, right now Adrian had to help Dr. Bell.

"I suppose I could stay here with my folks, but what would we be looking for?" Natalie picked up a box and carried it to the dining room table.

"Well, first you could make a list of all the suspicious phone calls Bobby supposedly made and see if your parents have any alibis for those times." Adrian pulled a stack of 'surveillance' photos from the box; these pictures showed Bobby at meetings with various criminals. "Then you could make a list of all the businesses in the background. I noticed that the shadows in the pictures are not a perfect match. So if we find surveillance tapes recorded by those businesses, we could verify that these pictures are false. We could prove these meetings never took place and that these photos were umh, you know, what do you call it?"

"Photo-shopped? Yeah, so we can prove they were faked! Yes, I get it!" Natalie excitedly touched Adrian's arm and kissed him on the cheek. "Okay, I'll stay with my parents and you go with the Captain and help Dr. Bell."

Leland watched the exchange between Natalie and Monk and his mood lightened. Natalie was becoming quite the little detective and Monk, well, Monk was becoming more and more like his old self. The Captain smirked and pulled the front door open, "Come on, buddy, next stop is Dr. Bell's."

* * *

With photos and files in neat piles across the dining room table, Natalie and her parents were methodically looking for clues and discrepancies. Following Adrian's instructions, they had already compiled a list with almost a dozen businesses which might be helpful in proving Bobby's innocence. And, as for the phone calls, Peggy distinctly remembered a conversation she had with a neighbor, which would provide an airtight alibi. Things were beginning to look up.

Then the front doorbell rang.

Natalie went to the front door, playfully scolding Peggy and Bobby, "Keep working you two. With Adrian being a detective, I can't have parents who are jail birds!" She pulled the door open and found herself staring at a bald man who looked very familiar. He was wearing an army jacket and cargo pants, the many pockets weighted down. Natalie motioned to his face with her hand; it was on the tip of her tongue. "I know you- you're, umh-"

Roberts didn't allow her finish. He lunged forward and clamped a rag saturated with chloroform over her mouth. He pushed her into the house, slamming the door closed behind them. Natalie struggled for a moment then collapsed to the floor.

"Who are you?" "What the hell do you want?" Peggy and Bobby rushed toward the foyer, only to stop short. Roberts had pulled out his gun and pointed it in their direction.

"We're going on a trip." With the gun still trained on Bobby, Roberts pulled two sets of handcuffs from his jacket pocket and threw them at Natalie's parents. "Put those on! Listen to me and I promise you will _not_ be hurt. I'm just taking you for a little ride. My SUV is outside and we are going to calmly get in and drive away. Do as I say."

Peggy and Bobby exchanged worried glances but complied and handcuffed their hands in front of them. "Why are you doing this?" Peggy drew Roberts' attention toward herself as she moved back into the living room. She was hoping to divert Roberts' attention from Natalie, who was beginning to stir.

"Shut Up!" Roberts pointed his gun at Peggy and, with his free hand, pulled out another set of cuffs. Kneeling heavily on Natalie's stomach, Roberts put the cuffs on Natalie. He then stood and pulled a roll of duct tape from a pocket and tossed it at Bobby, "Over your mouths. Now!"

While Bobby was busy putting duct tape over their mouths, Roberts reached into an inside pocket and withdrew a sealed manila envelope. Roberts stepped over the still-dazed Natalie and, after sweeping everything off of the coffee table, he placed the envelope in the center of it.

Roberts yanked Natalie to her feet and placed his gun to her back,"Okay folks, it's time for that ride. Let's go, single file out the back door. " Natalie was dazed but Roberts firmly held her arm and guided her to the kitchen.

Peggy and Bobby kept exchanging glances as they walked to the vehicle, but with Roberts' gun in Natalie's back, they were afraid to run away or attack their kidnapper. Roberts pressed a button on his keychain and the back lift-gate opened automatically. The back of the truck was caged off from the rest of the vehicle and Roberts ordered Peggy and Bobby to get in; Roberts had Bobby pull the door shut behind them. Roberts then put Natalie in the front seat, seat-belted her in and once again covered her face with the chloroform rag.

His captive secure, Roberts got into the front seat and casually started the car. He looked into the mirror, his attention now on Peggy's wide eyes. "You asked why I'm doing this, didn't you?" Roberts glare flicked away for a second before returning, full of hatred. Roberts smirked, "Retribution."

Being obstinate, Peggy tried to speak even though her mouth was duct taped shut, "Mretrmution mro mrat?"

"Retribution for what?" Roberts shook his head and snorted, "I'll let Adrian explain it to you, Peggy." The smile then fell from his face, "Now lie down and shut up!"

* * *

After speaking with Dr. Bell and reassuring him they would figure out what really happened, Adrian and Leland traveled across town and attempted to interview the victim. Brandi Bender allowed them into her home, but it wasn't long before she asked them to leave.

"I don't know why you're questioning me- I'm the victim!" Brandi crumpled into a chair and began to sob.

"I'm sorry we bothered you, miss, we'll see our way out." Leland gently offered and pulled Adrian from the apartment. Walking to the car, Leland muttered, "That was useless."

Adrian froze before getting into the car. "Maybe not-you noticed the bruises? Leland, Neven is short, maybe 5'6". The victim is taller, perhaps 5'8". The bruises on her arms should have been lower, towards her elbows. They were too high. Not only that, but the bruises were pretty large and I'm sure Dr. Bell's hands are too small to have made those marks."

Leland slapped the hood of the car, "You're right! Well, that's a beginning!"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

After spending several hours with Leland, looking at all the evidence against Dr. Bell, Adrian thought to call Natalie. He wanted to check on her progress with the Davenport's case. After not getting an answer on either Natalie's cell phone or the house phone, Adrian began to worry, "Leland, something not right. Natalie always has her cell phone on- I need to get home."

"Don't worry, Monk, I'm sure there's a good explanation. Maybe they're out in the backyard? But-" Leland saw the anxiety in Adrian's eyes, "Let me take you home."

Adrian was in a near panic by the time Leland pulled up to the house- Natalie's sedan was parked in its normal spot. Not waiting for the Captain to put the Crown Victoria into park, Adrian threw the door open and sprinted up the front steps. Busting through the unlocked door, he immediately noticed the mess on the living room floor. And the envelope on the coffee table.

It was labeled in block lettering:

_**Adrian Monk: Here's what happened**_**.**

Leland slowly entered the front door, his gun drawn. He spotted Adrian in the center of the living room; Monk's shaking hands gripped a letter. Holstering his weapon, Leland approached his friend. "What is it, Adrian?"

Adrian turned, his face pale, "They've been kidnapped."

* * *

A/N- Remember my preemptive apology for the serious/dark nature of this story? Be warned, things are going to be pretty rough from here on out.


	10. 10 Lies

Chapter 10 Lies

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Parental Guidance suggested for violent content.

Thanks to alex hoodle & MonkNat08 for the feedback and Monkwriter & SpaceCadet47 for the encouraging messages- my finger is off the delete key (for now-LOL!).

* * *

"_Who's been kidnapped_?" Leland strode up to Monk and attempted to read the note in Adrian's shaking hand.

"All of them!" Adrian took a halting breath and handed Leland the Berkley student ID that had been clipped to the letter. "That's Julie's new student ID card, Leland." The detective failed to keep the panic from his voice, "Listen to the note-"

_My Dear Mr. Monk,_

_Berkley was surprisingly quiet last night-Julie's abduction went off without a hitch. –But the young lady missed her family, so Natalie and Peg and Bobby joined her this morning! –It's good to be surrounded by family, isn't it? — Adrian, how far would you go to be with your family?_

_I will be calling soon so don't stray too far away. Do not call the police. Do not attempt to trace my incoming call. When I call -come alone, unarmed, and without a cell phone. _

Leland opened his cell phone, "Okay, Monk. Let me get a team over here-"

Adrian clamped his hand over Leland's phone, snapping it shut. "No! Leland, you know what the note says-you can't help me! They're all in danger because of me; I can't risk not following the note to a 'T'."

"Monk, you know this is a set-up! I can't let you do this by yourself." Leland grit his teeth and stepped in front of Adrian.

"I need to do this alone- I, I realize it's a set-up, but that doesn't matter." Adrian glared at the Captain, his eyes charcoal black. _"I_ have to do this and _you _need to stay out of my way, Leland."

Leland looked away and took a step back, unnerved by Adrian's sudden burst of anger. "Well, what do you think happened here?"

Adrian pressed a hand against his brow and took a deep breath. Talking to himself, Adrian began to mutter 'focus, focus'. He returned to the front door and cast his eyes over the scene. The detective started to bring hands up to examine the room, only to notice that he was still clutching the note. Adrian automatically reread the note then held it out, "Here Leland, please hold this, I need to, you know-"

With his hands now free, Adrian froze after doing a slow circle in the foyer. _This was all his fault._

Leland patted his back, encouraging the detective to continue, "Concentrate man."

Adrian shifted his shoulder then slowly walked through the living room into the kitchen, his hands held aloft. Leland closely followed, pausing whenever Adrian paused. Monk's voice trembled, "I know how it happened, Leland-

"Natalie answered the front door and was, was overpowered by-" Adrian's voice faded away, tears welling up in his eyes.

Leland rubbed his friend's back again, "Take a breath, buddy."

Adrian gulped then began again. "Natalie was overpowered at the door-she must have been knocked out, because, you know, she would have put up a hell of a fight- there would have been more signs of a struggle. Since Bobby and Peggy were across the room, the assailant must have pulled a gun to make them submit. Maybe there was more than one guy, I don't know. -Anyway, they went out the back door. I noticed a fresh scuff on the kitchen floor that had to have been made by the kidnapper. Natalie, Peggy and Bobby were all wearing non-marring shoes this morning."

"That's good, Adrian. Anything else?"

"If they went out that back that means the kidnapper had to have parked in the rear of the driveway. You know, off the street-"

"So he wouldn't attract attention. Right! I'll go check with the neighbors to see if anyone saw a strange vehicle driving into or parked in the driveway." Leland opened the door and paused, "Monk, don't do anything until I come back."

"I'm not doing anything, Leland, until I get that phone call."

* * *

Other than their labored breathing, it was eerily quiet in the caged cargo area of the parked SUV. Bobby and Peggy still lay on the carpeted floor, waiting for the kidnapper to come back for them. In Bobby's estimation, the kidnapper had pulled Natalie from the vehicle about ten minutes ago and had instructed them to remain lying down. Bobby had managed to grasp Peg's hand and, for the last few minutes, a light squeeze was all he could offer as reassurance. The duct tape over their mouths was a blessing in disguise; Bobby had no words of comfort for his wife.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~

The latch clicked and Peggy and Bobby warily turned their eyes to the opening door. Peggy struggled to sit up and immediately began to mumble unintelligible words."Mrat mre mou mooing mis?"

"Why am I doing this?" Roberts, with his gun in his right hand and a smirk on his face, reached over with his left hand and pulled Peggy from the vehicle. "Peggy dear, you'll find out soon enough.-Bobby, don't move;I'll be back for you in a minute."

As her feet hit the ground, Peggy quickly scanned her surroundings; they were at the edge of an open field, surrounded by woods. When the kidnapper pulled her around the vehicle, Peggy noticed they were parked by an abandoned cabin with a hitching post in front. Listening to the utter silence, Peggy had a feeling that this location was well-hidden and isolated. She stumbled to her knees but Roberts pulled her up and yanked her towards the hitching post that was in front of the cabin."Mlease mop."

"I need you to behave, okay?" Roberts hissed at her as he looped a long length of chain through her cuffed hands and fastened her to the post. Pulling the duct tape from her mouth, Roberts smirked, "Now Peggy, if you yell, I'll take all the slack out of this chain and you'll be very uncomfortable. For now, you can sit on the edge of the porch and enjoy a bit of '_freedom'_. Stay put while I get your husband."

Peggy haughtily made eye contact with the kidnapper, "Who are you and why are you doing this?"

The easy smile could not disguise the hatred in his eyes, "I'm someone Adrian Monk shouldn't have messed with. Now stay." Roberts went and retrieved Bobby, chaining him along side Peggy. Roberts climbed onto the cabin's porch and started to open the door, "Keep quiet and I'll be back with Natalie in a few minutes. First, we have to make a phone call."

* * *

"Hello, who is this?" Anticipating the incoming call, Adrian already had a death grip on the phone as he paced around the living room. The detective closed his eyes, hoping that the voice he was about to hear would somehow allow him to visualize the man who had taken his family.

"You'll have your answer soon enough. Come alone to this address-" Roberts recited the address of the isolated house and instructed the detective to drive down the dirt road behind the garage. "We'll be waiting for you."

Adrian opened his eyes in frustration; the voice was familiar but he couldn't identify the caller. The Captain had returned and cast an anxious look at his friend.

"Wait! How do I know Natalie and her family are, are alright?" Adrian met Leland's stare. Having already visualized all the possible scenarios, Adrian was trying to erase the horrific images from his mind.

"Tsk tsk, you're so predictable, Adrian." Roberts held the phone to Natalie's face and threatened, "Tell your boyfriend that you're waiting for him."

Natalie gulped as Roberts twisted and jerked her arms sideways, causing her legs to buckle underneath her. She wanted to warn Adrian, to tell him it was Ralph Roberts, but instead, all that came out was a cry from the unexpected pain.

Roberts rolled his eyes and returned the phone to his ear, "I'm sure you've heard that cry before, - hurry up." Roberts closed the phone and pulled Natalie to the cabin's door. Motioning for her to open the door, Roberts menacingly tapped his gun as Natalie's parents came into view, "You can run if you want Natalie, but then I'll shoot your parents."

Natalie stumbled down the steps and, although her hands were still bound, threw her arms around her father's neck. She turned to Roberts, a sneer in her voice. "You'll never get away with this, _Ralph."_

Roberts felt the three syringes in his pocket and his lifeless eyes focused on the dirt road leading to their location, "But I will."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Cursing Adrian's stubbornness, Leland sped back to the police station, the abduction note and Julie's student ID in an evidence bag. Although he knew the odds were slim, the Captain had called the forensic lab to alert them to his impending arrival. Perhaps they could find a fingerprint or DNA to identify the perpetrator. He had also alerted all units to be on the lookout for, but not to approach, Natalie's car. Adrian had gone to meet the kidnapper and Leland was hoping one of his officers would be able to offer a clue as to which direction Monk was headed.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

A cloud of dust billowed out from behind Natalie's grey sedan as Adrian drove it up the dirt lane. During the entire trip over to this assigned rendezvous spot, the detective kept replaying the voice from the phone call in his head. It was so familiar but, to his frustration and dismay, remained hovering just out of reach. When the car finally reached the open field, Adrian first spied the SUV and the cabin. Looking closer, he was relieved to see Natalie and her parents- and their captor. The elusive voice finally had a face-

"Oh God- It's Ralph Roberts." Adrian quickly realized that Dale's message-'_He lost his family'_had not been a meaningless ploy but a vague and calculated warning. Because of his fraud conviction, Roberts had received jail time and had lost his cult followers. The kidnapping of Natalie and her family was quid pro quo. This also explained the legal troubles experienced by both the Davenports and Neven Bell and Sharona's close call narrowly avoiding a fatal car accident. Roberts was hell-bent on taking his revenge against anyone in Adrian's life- _Adrian's family._ But with such complicated plans, Adrian knew Ralph Roberts was not working alone.

In the few seconds it took Adrian to exit Natalie's car and approach the cabin, Roberts had positioned himself behind Peggy, the SIG-Saur to her head. Unable to suppress the glee in his voice, Roberts loudly demanded, "That's right Mr. Monk, come on over and join us."

Adrian approached the cabin, his hands held away from his sides. He slowed when he was within ten feet of the group.

Roberts flashed the gun, "That's good, stop there. You know what to do- hands behind your head and on your knees, Adrian."

Lacing his hands together behind his neck, he dropped to his knees and furtively cast his eyes around. Adrian was looking foremost for Julie but also for any accomplices. Seeing neither, Adrian exchanged a lingering look with Natalie, wordlessly vowing to protect and free them, no matter what.

The detective then returned his scrutiny to Roberts. Adrian could plainly tell that Roberts wanted to rant and rave, to explain and justify his motives. One simple question would divert Roberts' attention from Natalie and her parents; Adrian quietly asked, "Why?"

Robert laughed and pulled a syringe from his pocket and held it out to Natalie, "In a minute, Adrian. First I'm going to send the _Eager Miss Teeger_ over to give you a little shot. It's quite fortuitous you're wearing a short sleeve shirt today, Adrian. By the way, you're not still afraid of needles, are you?"

Adrian stared at Roberts impassively, taking his measure. Roberts' anger and agitation was so elevated, Adrian believed he would hurt Peggy and Bobby if provoked. This was not yet the time for the detective to resist. He stared at the needle Roberts had given to Natalie and remembered Sharona's stoic advice, '_Suck it up, Adrian_.'

Natalie, however, hesitated and grew argumentative, "What's in here? I won't do it!"

Roberts placed his handgun against the side of Peggy's face and, after pushing Peggy forward, squeezed off a round into the dirt. The gunshot was deafening and Peggy screamed. Roberts snarled at Natalie, "The next shot goes into Mom's head- Let me see you give him the needle so we can get on with it."

Natalie approached Adrian with the needle, an apology in her eyes. She didn't know the syringe was filled with Haloperidol. Also known Haldol, the fast-acting sedative routinely used to quickly sedate violent patients and had been described as a 'Chemical Restraint'. Natalie glanced back at her mother; Roberts was still holding the gun to her head. Natalie hesitated, and then she heard Adrian's calm voice.

"Nat, whatever it is, give me the shot before he hurts your mother. It's okay." Adrian slowly tilted his head, hoping she understood that Roberts' vendetta was solely against him. If the detective could draw Roberts' attention away, Natalie and her family would have a chance to escape.

Adrian unlaced his fingers and began to lower his arm, only to stop when Roberts shouted, "Hands back where they were, Monk. Natalie, there's no need to be precise. You can just stab him in the bicep; you don't need to find a vein. Don't block my view, though, I need to see that needle go in."

Stepping to Adrian's side so Roberts could see the liquid injected into Adrian's arm, Natalie loudly called, "Okay, I'm giving him the shot." Natalie pushed his sleeve out of the way and placed the needle against his skin. Keeping her face frozen, Natalie held Adrian's gaze and murmured quietly, "I'm sorry Adrian. I love you."

Feeling the needle pierce his flesh, Adrian sucked in a breath and winced from the pain. He closed his eyes and slowly released the breath, "I love you too, Nat." Adrian shuddered, knowing that some unknown chemical was now in his body and would affect him in unknown ways.

Before the full dose was administered, Natalie shifted her weight to block Roberts' view. She swiftly withdrew the needle at an angle, making a few drops of blood appeared on Adrian's arm. She yelled, "There- it's done, _Father_." Throwing the needle in anger, Natalie hoped Roberts had been fooled and wouldn't look for the syringe.

Adrian tilted his face down and away and softly uttered, "Nat - listen, I need you to take my wallet." He returned his gaze to her and imperceptibly twitched, inviting her closer.

Natalie raised an eyebrow, not understanding his plan. She looked to Roberts and froze when her eyes met the kidnapper's cold stare.

"Natalie, get back here! I have something to show you." Roberts yelled as he took a Polaroid from his pocket. Tapping the picture against his chest, he laughed, "I'm afraid I have some bad news for you- about Julie."

"What?" Natalie's voice faltered and she gripped onto Adrian's shoulder, dread filling her heart.

"Over here, Natalie!" Roberts briefly showed the picture to Peggy and Bobby; he laughed as they both went pale and sank to their knees. "Your folks are a bit shocked."

Reluctantly leaving Adrian's side, Natalie rushed over with her hands out, wanting to see the picture. "What's happened to Julie?"

A sudden drug-induced lethargy overtook Adrian and he struggled to keep his focus on Roberts and Natalie. He swayed but remained kneeling, everything now in slow motion and distorted. Adrian strained to pay attention; Roberts handed Natalie the photograph and their voices became distant, rippling like a stone skipping on water. The dizziness became worse and Adrian's head lolled. He lowered his arms and found himself slumped on the ground, barely able to sit up.

Natalie snatched the picture from Roberts' hand- Julie was laying on a concrete floor, her eyes were closed and a garish red stain haloed her head. Natalie choked back tears, "What happened to Julie?"

Swaying with each breath he took, Natalie's question echoed in Adrian's mind. Struggling through the sedative's haze, Adrian raised his head up and eventually focused on Roberts.

Roberts ignored Natalie and stared directly at Adrian's dazed countenance. A look of triumph was etched across Roberts' face. "_Julie is dead_."

* * *

A/N- I know that last sentence was horrible to read (this whole story has been difficult to write) – Adrian and Natalie are in for some tough times, but it's necessary. Hang in there.

A/N2-I'm also trying to hang in there, so please review! (& not just my fellow Americans! That means ya'll in Europe, Asia, Africa & South America too!)


	11. 11 Revenge

Chapter 11 Revenge

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Sorry I didn't get this chapter up last week, grrr- the document wouldn't load for some reason:(

Thanks for all the wonderful PMs and reviews- I love ya'll!

Last chapter we left Adrian, partially sedated, slumped on the ground dazed while Natalie, Bobby and Peggy helplessly watched. Ralph Roberts then made most disturbing announcement- 'Julie is dead'! ~~ During the next few chapters, remember the adage "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." _**~~Parental Guidance for Violence~~ **_

_**

* * *

**_

Natalie froze; she couldn't breathe and her world went silent. Only her eyes moved, scanning the picture of her daughter. The picture Roberts had gleefully handed over. An eternity passed before Natalie numbly whispered, "Dead? Why?"

Roberts growled in disbelief, "Are you _really_ that stupid, Natalie?" In a rage, Roberts grabbed Natalie's arm and shook her violently. Roberts then pulled Natalie forward and threw her to the ground near Adrian. "Ask your lover why Julie's dead- I'm sure the _great detective_ can tell you why."

"Nat, are you okay?" Adrian weakly slurred, his unsteady gaze passing over her. He clambered to his knees and crawled to Natalie's side; although Adrian had only been given a partial dose of sedative, every move was now clumsy and arduous.

Seething in anger, Roberts strode over and loomed over the couple, his gun in hand. He raised the gun up and swiftly swung it down towards Adrian's face, catching him right above the eye. Blood spattered the dirt as Adrian crumpled to the ground. Squatting down next to the dazed detective, Roberts hissed, "Nat is_ not_ okay, you bastard- Julie is dead."

"Get away from him-" Natalie snapped from her daze and jumped to her feet, dropping the picture of Julie and rushing at Roberts. But Roberts quickly stood and stepped back with the ease of a bullfighter, and Natalie's momentum carried her past him and to the ground. She landed by her parents. Having slack in the chain, Peggy ducked under the post and grabbed onto Natalie's upper arm.

"Stay here, Natalie-" Peggy turned her attention to Roberts, "Take Adrian and go," Peggy implored, her cheeks moist with tears. She then dug her nails into Natalie's flesh and shouted, "I knew Adrian couldn't take care of you and Julie-_Julie," _her voice cracked then grew hateful, "Now Julie is dead- and it's Adrian's fault."

"Mom, how could you say that?" Natalie whimpered as she squirmed in Peggy grasp.

Peggy held tight, her eyes now ablaze. "Damn him Natalie, it's Adrian's fault- tell her, Bobby."

All Bobby could do was shake his head, a vacant expression on his face.

With a laugh, Roberts stared at Natalie, "See, even your parents know why Julie is dead. Tsk, tsk, just because you were screwing the wrong man, Natalie." Roberts continued to chuckle and began circling the bloodied detective, who was attempting to push himself up from the ground. Roberts placed his foot on Adrian's back and shoved him down into the dirt, knocking the breath from him. "You couldn't leave my Siblings of the Sun alone, could you Adrian? I let you remain at my ranch when you begged to stay. I let you into _my family _when you were tired of the world and sick of being afraid! Remember how you wanted to _just not think_?"

Roberts returned to circling the detective, Natalie and her parents forgotten. "I helped you and you turned on me, Adrian! You were more than disloyal, you were vindictive, unforgiving. And why? Just because of some creative, umh, book-keeping? I hadn't hurt anyone and you still ruined my life! You took my family, Adrian, so I've taken yours." The gun still in his shaking hand, Roberts maliciously looked to Peggy, "Well, Peg, should I shoot him? Or-or should I make him suffer?"

Peggy, still gripping onto Natalie's arm, turned her face away from the brutal scene. Heard only by Natalie, Peggy snarled, "I don't care."

Natalie turned to her mother in shock, "Mom!"

Roberts clucked his tongue in amusement, "No suggestions from the family? Come on now-how can I punish him?" The fiery hatred returned to his eye and Roberts kicked the prone detective several times in the ribs. Grunting with satisfaction, Roberts squatted down next to Adrian, hissing, "I don't really need their suggestions, freak; I picked up some ideas while in prison." With a smirk, Roberts stood and walked to his SUV. He opened the cargo area to verify that the cage divider was secure and that the Davenports hadn't left anything that Adrian could use as a weapon.

Clumsily rising to his knees, Adrian groaned in pain. Feeling something running down the side of his face, Adrian brought the back of his hand to the corner of his eye. Dropping his hand, Adrian stared at the blood and shook it off.

The crumpled picture of Julie came into focus and he immediately picked it up. Smoothing it with his clean hand, he tilted his head and shifted his shoulder, the chemical induced trance clearing. He knew the picture wasn't right.

Natalie broke from her mother's grip and stumbled over to Adrian. She collapsed against his body, "Roberts killed Julie, A-"

"Nat, listen-" Adrian blinked rapidly, the sedative's effects lessening, "Listen and do not react to what I'm about to say –I can tell the picture is fake- Julie's not dead!" Adrian furtively cast a glance at Roberts before returning his gaze to Natalie, "Nat, you need to take my wallet; I have a handcuff key hidden behind my credit card." Hearing Roberts approach, Adrian lowered his head and continued whispering, "You need to act angry so he doesn't take you too-"

"What are we talking about, Natalie? Adrian?" Roberts stood over the couple, an amused look on his face. "I hope you're not talking about me- that would be _so_ rude."

Natalie took a deep breath; she reached over and roughly yanked Adrian's wallet from his back pocket. Pushing Adrian forward and stepping to his other side, Natalie positioned Adrian between Roberts and herself. "You want to know what we were talking about, _Father_?" Natalie made a show of leafing through the pictures in Adrian's wallet. "We were talking about_ my_ child, _my_ beautiful daughter." She found a picture of Julie and leaned down and held it in Adrian's face, her voice hysterical, "Julie's now dead because of you!" She raised her hands and batted at Adrian's bowed head, one hand still holding the wallet. Adrian shifted to escape her blows and Natalie walked away, her back now to Roberts. She quickly searched for the key, all the while sniffling and crying. The tears were genuine; Adrian was sacrificing himself for the sake of her and her family.

"Oh Adrian, I guess your little, happy family is breaking up!" Roberts cackled joyfully. He then shook his head in false sympathy as he watched the detective hunch forward and shudder. "But I have just the thing to numb the pain," Roberts stepped behind Adrian and pulled the second syringe from his pocket. He sprang forward using all his weight and shoved Adrian face down to the ground, pressing his knee into the detective's back. "It's time for a booster shot," Roberts grunted as he struggled with the squirming detective. Plunged the needle into Adrian's bicep, this time Adrian was given a full dose of sedative.

Having found the handcuff key, Natalie discreetly shoved it in her front pocket and dropped the wallet. She then turned in time to see Adrian immobilized by Roberts. Natalie wanted to protect Adrian but had to wait for the right moment to act; there was nothing she could do- yet.

Roberts waited for the sedative to calm Adrian before removing his weight from Adrian's back. Roberts stood, grasped the detective's wrists, and struggled to pull Adrian to his feet. "Come on, Monk. We're going to see poor, little Julie and, if you behave yourself, I'll let you bring the dead girl home to her mother."

Adrian blankly stared at the ground as he let Roberts shove him towards the vehicle. Stumbling into the cargo area, Adrian muttered, "You're not going to kill me?"

Roberts smirked, "No, but you might wish I had by the time I get through with you." Wrestling the detective's hands together, Roberts bound Adrian's wrists with a plastic zip-tie, "It's time I taught you a few things, Adrian Monk."

Slamming the door, Roberts returned to his other captives and ushered Natalie into the cabin. After scanning the boarded up windows, he playfully chided before locking her inside, "Now don't go anywhere, Nat, I'll be returning for you in a bit."

* * *

Her ear pressed to the cabin's door, Natalie waited until she heard the SUV drive away before pulling the handcuff key from her pocket. Removing her handcuffs, she slid them in her back pocket and she searched the cabin for a way out. Natalie found one window that was not at secure as the others and worked several boards free. She climbed through the window and ran around to where her parents were chained.

"Dad, Mom, are you alright?" Natalie rushed up to them and freed her father from the post.

"Nat, how did you get out?" Bobby was amazed to see her.

Natalie stared at her mother, her voice icy, "Adrian made sure I took the handcuff key he had in his wallet so I could get free. Even though he was drugged and Roberts was beating him, my safety was all he thought about! "

"Natalie, I'm sorry I-" Peggy stammered.

"You should be sorry, Mom. And we'll talk about it later. But for now, the good news is Adrian told me Julie is still alive."

Peggy's mouth dropped open, "Thank God if he's right-"

"He's right," Natalie interrupted again as she roughly unlocked the cuffs restraining Peggy. When done, she took the key and shoved it in her shoe. "Adrian is sure the picture Roberts showed us is fake, and Adrian's never wrong." Natalie grabbed her father by the arm and began leading him towards her car. "Come on, Mom, let's go. Dad, right now I need you to go get help."

"Nat, what do you mean? You're coming with us!" Bobby held the car door open and took hold of Natalie's arm.

"No, Roberts said he's coming back for me. I need to go with him to help Adrian and Julie." Natalie pushed her father into the driver's seat, "Keys are still in the ignition, so get going. Call Captain Stottlemeyer and tell him to use caution when he comes up here."

Peggy reached over from the passenger seat and grasped Natalie's hand, "Natalie, I'm sorry, about everything. I, I love you."

Natalie gave her parents a brave smile, "I love you both. Now go and get the police. I promise that Julie, Adrian and I will see you later." Running back to the cabin, Natalie picked up Adrian's wallet before heading around back. She climbed through the window and replaced the boards.

When everything was in place, Natalie pulled the handcuffs from her pocket and put them back on; all she had to do now was wait.

* * *

Wanting to verify that she was alone in the building, Julie got up and peered through the window. Seeing and hearing no one, she eagerly returned to her spot under the metal table. Julie had paced the room for hours, trying to think of an escape plan when she had a jolt of inspiration. The only item in the room with her was table placed in the corner of the room. She knew the table was too heavy and bulky for her to lift and break the glass, but if she could remove one of the table legs-

Julie had a few coins in her pocket and set to work attempting to unscrew one of the legs. It was difficult to loosen the bolt and several times the coin went flying from her hand, but eventually Julie made some progress. With a few more turns, she would have it off and could hopefully break the window. That's when she heard a thud and the angry voice of her captor.

Julie crept over to the window and cautiously looked out. Her throat closed up and her eyes filled with tears, "Oh God, not Dad."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Although in a chemical-induced trance, Adrian scanned the abandoned building as Roberts prodded him forward. Between the numerous oils stains on the floor and the few pieces of sinister-looking equipment scattered around the empty structure, the detective figured this had been an auto-body repair shop. Maybe there was something here he could use against Roberts. Adrian's eyes continued to dart around and he discerned a flash of movement from an office window. In his mind, the image automatically replayed in slow motion. _It was Julie!_ Knowing she was here, Adrian felt compelled to act even though he was still in the grip of the sedative.

Adrian pulled away from Roberts only to falter and stumble to the ground. He glimpsed a crowbar across the room and was determined to reach it. Getting up slowly, Adrian felt Roberts' arm hook around his neck, crushing his windpipe. His vision began to dim, "No-"

"Yes, Adrian. Don't run away, the fun is about to begin." Roberts tightened the pressure and the detective blacked out. Dragging Adrian over to an engine hoist, Roberts ran a chain between Adrian's bound hands and hooked it to the pulley system. With Roberts drawing down on the lever, Adrian's arms were forcibly suspended over his limp body. Roberts continued to work the gears and Adrian was gradually pulled to a standing position. Wanting to inflict as much pain as possible, Roberts pushed the lever one additional time, pulling Adrian an inch off the floor.

Locking the pulley mechanism, Roberts stepped back to study his target. Realizing that the detective was physically in much better shape now than he had been years ago at the ranch, Roberts was glad he had used both chemical and physical restraints. But for Adrian to really suffer, he needed to be conscious. Roberts would not use the last syringe of sedatives; he threw the last needle into a trashcan.

Swaying just above the ground, the detective began to stir. With a searing pain through his arms and shoulders, Adrian slowly raised his head and opened his eyes. He moaned quietly, "What are you doing?"

Roberts approached Adrian, a huge grin on his face, "You're about to experience some very unpleasant things, Adrian." Roberts clenched his jaw and backhanded the detective, splitting Adrian's lip. "Let me get my _supplies_."

Dazed by the blow, Adrian reflexively ran his tongue over the fresh wound on lip, tasting blood. He forced his eyes to follow Roberts as he crossed the room and began picking items up; a crowbar, an old cloth seatbelt with the buckle still attached, a car antenna and "Oh, some spark plugs" Roberts said gleefully. Roberts found a small cloth sack and filled it with the spark plugs. He returned to Adrian with a grin. Panic set in for Adrian with each new item Roberts added to his arsenal.

Roberts surveyed the items in front of Adrian and laughed, "I know these aren't the standard prison weapons; I hope you don't mind the improvisation. We are in an abandoned garage, after all." With a smirk, Roberts took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He lit one and blew the smoke into the detective's face, "Oh yeah, I took up smoking while in prison. Do you want to know what else these little cancer sticks are good for, Adrian?" Roberts tugged his shirt collar down, revealing a burn mark. Roberts took another drag and held the glowing end to Adrian's exposed arm, "This will mark the beginning of an unforgettable night, Adrian."

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~

Julie huddled down beneath the table coiled and ready to spring; the detached table leg was propped into place and within easy reach. Waiting for Roberts to come for her, Julie's eyes darted between the window and the door. She heard the clanking of chains and, after a few minutes of silence, the sound of several things dropped to the floor and the murmur of voices. Julie began to creep towards the window only to stop dead, paralyzed by Robert's enraged shouts and Adrian's yelps of pain. Clamping her hand over her mouth, Julie doubled over as choking tears racked her body.

Julie eventually crawled back under the table and began to rock to-and –fro. She quietly chanted '_Please God no'_ and pressed her hands tightly against her ears; even that couldn't block out what was happening in the next room.


	12. 12 Wrath

Chapter 12 Wrath

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes_**: ~~Parental Guidance for Graphic Violence~~**_ Cringe, wince and shudder (that was me, writing these next few chapters) - Why let Adrian go through all this abuse? I really don't know; maybe to test his courage and capacity to endure, maybe to force him to evolve and mature, or perhaps simply to knock the 'mussiness' out of him? Whatever the reason, here we go. Hang in there- LOL ;)

Thanks for the reviews and PMs! Ya'll are the best!

* * *

Panting heavily and his arm aching from exertion, Roberts let the car antenna drop and it thinly '_dinked'_ when it hit the floor. He enjoyed the irony; the antenna was deceptively benign and yet had proved to be a perfect, whip-like weapon, leaving bloody welts and torn material on Adrian. Of course, the cigarettes had left some nice burns and the bag of spark plugs had left some nasty bruises, as well.

Roberts dragged a chair over in front of his captive and sat down heavily, "How about we take a little break, Adrian? I don't know about you, but-" He gave a small chuckle and wiped the sweat off his brow, "I'm a little tired."

Roberts leaned forward and picked up the crowbar from his pile of torture tools. He held it loosely and began tapping it on the floor, "Hmm, maybe we'll save this for later. Sound like a plan, Adrian?" With a clatter, Roberts dropped the piece of metal near his feet.

Adrian flinched and he let out a quiet groan, his body on fire from all the punishment he had already received. Roberts' threat panicked Adrian but, strangely enough, it also brought him a bit of solace; Roberts still had not mentioned harming Julie or Natalie.

Roberts lit up a cigarette and grew pensive, "You know, I had a really rough time in prison. After all, before I went to jail, I never had to defend myself. I didn't know how to fight. I'm a thin guy, never been athletic, always relied on my brains to get what I wanted. But you- you have it all, don't you? You've always had the brains, but now you even have the brawn, thanks to all the rigorous police training to get your badge back. Yeah, I heard about that in prison, my belated congratulations."

Roberts looked at the smoldering cigarette in his fingers, turning it slowly. "Anyway, I know you think I'm a coward for tying you up, but really, I'm just evening the odds, making it fair."

Adrian raised his head and grunted, "This, is fair?"

Roberts flicked his cigarette at Adrian, "Fair as you're going to get, my friend. - But Adrian, I haven't finished telling you about my time in prison. The beatings were bad, you know? _Really bad._ And I never knew where or when it might happen; living with that uncertainty can really make a person paranoid, you know? But that wasn't the worst of it. No, you don't know the atrocities-" Turning pale, Roberts' breathing increased. He rose from his chair and tossed it aside, trembling at the memory.

"I've only begun to give you a taste of the beatings I endured in prison but I could never -" Roberts' shout dropped to a menacing growl, "_I_ could never do to another man what _those animals did to me_. But you need to pay, you S.O.B., to suffer for what I went through."

Shaking with anger, Roberts paced before his captive. A leer emerged on his face and he narrowed his eyes at Adrian. Roberts pulled the car keys from his pocket and twirled them on his finger, "I'm going to do the _next best thing_, Adrian. I'm going to get Natalie and make you watch. Well, first I'll make her watch_ you_ suffer-" Roberts toed the crowbar on the floor, "And then, _then_ I'm going to violate the woman you love- your sweet Natalie, while you hang there, helpless. How would that be?" Roberts smirked, "I'm afraid you're going to witness some vile, ungodly acts, Adrian."

Adrian struggled frantically to free his hands while snarling at Roberts, "Leave Natalie alone!"

"You know, I had considered bringing Natalie here so she could collect your beaten remains. But now that I think about it, I really like this idea better." With the smirk still on his face, Roberts pocketed the keys and retrieved the syringe of sedatives from the trash. He approached Adrian, a drop of Haldol glistening on the tip of the needle, "Now Adrian, I want you to keep calm and just _hang out_ until I return with Natalie, okay?"

Unable to defend himself with his arms, the detective kicked at Roberts and threatened, "Stop, Roberts. You don't want to do this!"

Avoiding Adrian's feet, Roberts laughed, "See why I had to string you up? That police training makes you pretty dangerous, but-" Roberts slipped behind Adrian and jabbed the needle into his arm, "But now you're going to mellow out for a while. I'll be back shortly with the little vixen and I'll demonstrate what a good time looks like."

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

After all the horrific sounds she heard, it was the silence that finally coaxed Julie from her hiding spot. She crawled out from under the table and hesitated, not wanting to cross the room, not wanting to look out the window. But the stillness called to her, demanding she look.

Julie focused her eyes on a spot on the wall next to the window. She reluctantly moved forward; almost there, one more step. Touching her target, Julie leaned against the wall as uncontrollable tears flowed down her face. After several gulping breathes, she steadied herself. Julie dried her face on her sleeve and braced for the worst. She timidly peered out the window.

"Oh God, no," Julie gasped and pressed her hands to her mouth. Adrian's limp, unmoving body suspended, the tattered shirt, the blood, the bruises- Julie turned away and wretched, the nausea taking her by surprise.

She paced around the room, her head down, her grief slowly turning into a burning rage, "No, he can't be-" Julie grabbed the table leg and repeatedly swung it at the window, an unknown strength spurring her on.

After breaking away all the jagged pieces of glass from the window frame, Julie forced herself to look once again at Adrian. She blinked in disbelief; she could have sworn he moved and was taking shallow breathes. Julie scrambled through the window and ran towards the man she now called her dad. She reached up and gently touched his bloodied face, "Dad?"

Adrian's unfocused eyes slid open and he lifted his head, "Julie?"

* * *

"What the hell?" Roberts cursed as he parked in front of the cabin, the empty chains looped over the hitching post. Fury gripped him as he bolted from the SUV and rushed to unlock the cabin door. The doorknob turned and door swung open, slamming against the wall with a bang. Roberts let out a growl, "How did your parents get free, Natalie?"

* * *

Much to Leland's relief, the fingerprint match from Julie's student ID came back quickly; Ralph Roberts was the suspect named in the kidnappings. After showing Peggy and Bobby the mug shot in the file, the Captain had a positive ID and issued an APB. Tasking several officers with tracing Roberts' movements since his parole, Leland now concentrated solely on finding Adrian, Natalie and Julie.

"Okay folks, think. What is the last street name you remember?" Leland paced behind Peggy and Bobby, barely holding onto his temper. The Davenports had made their way to the police station but, to Leland's frustration, they couldn't point out on the map exactly where they had been held. The Captain angrily questioned them on why they hadn't written down any directions or street names, but a sudden swell of tears from Peggy caused Leland to ease off. Thank God they at least had a description of the SUV; a BOLO had been issued and even off-duty cops had volunteered to look for the vehicle.

The group stood over the map lying across the desk and Bobby traced his finger along Route 101. "We got on the highway somewhere along here," Bobby tapped on the map.

"Okay, Bobby, care to take a ride with me?" The Captain's question came out sounding like a demand.

"We'll both go," Peggy interjected, "I think I can remember the way."

* * *

Natalie backed into a corner, surprised by Roberts' outburst, "I don't know what you're talking about! I was in here, handcuffed- See?" Natalie raised her hands up, showing she was still bound. "I don't know how they got away!"

Roberts spied a shaft of daylight pouring between the boards on one of the windows. He crossed the cabin and pulled the loose boards from the window and tossed them to the floor. "You didn't help them, Natalie? You bitch, I know you're lying to me!" Roberts snatched up one of the pieces of wood and threw it at Natalie. As she ducked, Roberts swiftly approached her, fire in his eyes.

Natalie attempted to run past Roberts, but he caught her and tossed her against the wall, "Where'd you hide the key?" With his left hand, Roberts yanked Natalie's cuffed hands up and pinned her to the wall. With a leer, he roughly searched her, pulling at her clothes and fondling her. When his glare met her frightened eyes, he sneered, "Don't be scared yet, Natalie. I'm going to do much worse to you when I get you in front of your _boy_friend."

Natalie squirmed away from him, "No, leave me alone!" The last thing she saw was his fist coming towards her face.

* * *

The cell phone vibrated atop the desk and Damien Beck flipped it over. He blew out a deep breath when he read the simple yet direct text message- '_411?_' Of course the big man was demanding an update. Damien silenced the phone and reluctantly rose from the desk. He was sick and tired of being _the_ contact to the outside world.

Grabbing his phone and gun, Damien exited his house. He jumped into his GTO and floored it; this would be his last job.

* * *

"Julie, please go," Adrian rasped, his eyes now open. He met her gaze and then focused on the open doorway. "Get help before Roberts comes back."

"I'm not leaving without you," Julie looked from Adrian to the device that held him captive. She stepped abound to the back of the engine hoist and pulled at the lever, its operation a mystery to her. After several unsuccessful attempts, she finally found the release valve which lowered the chain on the lift. She stumbled around the hoist, too late to stop Adrian from dropping to the floor. She cringed, "Oh Dad, I'm so sorry!"

Crumpled on the floor with his swollen hands still zip-tied to the chain, Adrian looked up at Julie and smiled weakly, "It's okay, but it's time for you to go."

"No, Dad, I'll have you out of here in a minute." Julie gently touched his wrist and got up, intent on finding something to cut the bonds. She trotted about the room, searching through piles of discarded tools.

Every move was misery, but Adrian rose to his knees and watched Julie search the building. When she picked up a set of needle-nose pliers, he breathed a sigh of relief. He would be free when Roberts returned –hopefully without Natalie. As Julie approached with the tool, Adrian held his hands held up, begging for release.

Julie snipped the bonds and tossed the tool away, a look of accomplishment on her face. She squatted down in front of Adrian and, not wanting to hurt him further, refrained from touching him, "Can I help you stand?"

Hearing a car outside, Adrian's eyes went to the doorway; he tilted his head, attempting to discern if it was Roberts' vehicle. Recognizing the sound of the door being slammed, Adrian flicked his eyes to Julie, "You need to go. Now."

Julie shot a look over towards the door then gingerly leaned over and kissed Adrian on the cheek, "I'll get help. I love you."

Adrian tapped Julie's knee, a weak smile briefly crossing his face. "I love you too. Be careful."

Julie sprinted to the far side of the building and disappeared behind a wall.

The muffled sound of a struggle and a stifled cry came through the doorway, alerting Adrian that Roberts had Natalie. _And that he was hurting her. _

Adrian staggered to his feet, fury raging through his veins.

Roberts tightly clasped Natalie's elbow and prodded her forward. Entering the abandoned building, Roberts was clueless about how this night would end.


	13. 13 Combat

Chapter 13 Combat

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: _**~~Parental Guidance for Violence~~**_ A super short chapter but, cringe, it's super brutal. Adrian and Roberts are about to square off at the warehouse. Meanwhile, the Davenports and the Captain are going to the now-empty cabin in search of Adrian & Co.

Much thanks for the reviews and PMs! ;)

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"You're _sure_ the cabin is up this road?" The Captain turned to Peggy and Bobby and waited. The Crown Victoria sat idling in drive, Leland's foot on the brake. When they verified it was, Leland immediately requested back-up. He then broke every police protocol by unbuttoning the snap on his holster and stomping on the accelerator.

Flying up the dusty road, Leland gruffly commanded, "I need you both to stay in the car, is that clear?" They shook their heads wordlessly, their eyes locked forward.

When they entered the clearing, Leland slowed the car. Cursing the impending nightfall, Leland scanned the area- it appeared deserted; no vehicles or people around. He brought the car to park in front of the cabin and slowly cracked open the car door. Not a sound. Exiting the car, Leland reminded the Davenports, "Stay here, no matter what."

The captain sidled up to the cabin, his gun drawn. Gingerly pushing open the door, silence greeted him. There were signs of a scuffle and Adrian's wallet was lying on the floor. Leland holstered his gun in dismay, "Where are you guys?"

* * *

With the footsteps nearing the doorway, Adrian knew he had to hide. Wincing with every move, he limped across the floor and took refuge behind a metal storage shelf that held an assortment of boxes. Breathing heavily, he looked between the boxes to the doorway. As Roberts dragged Natalie into the room, Adrian focused on the shadowy outline of Roberts. Hate welled up in Adrian's eyes along with tears.

"Damn it! F*%#!" Roberts flipped on the light in the building and saw the abandoned chain; Adrian was gone. He impulsively grabbed a handful of Natalie's hair and pulled her over toward the office where he had locked Julie. Glass crunching underfoot, the broken window told the full story. Yanking Natalie back to the middle of the room, he shouted to the cavernous building. "Hey Monk! So little Julie released you? Oh, _she_ is going to be _sorry_ she did that!"

His fatigue overwhelming, Adrian's weight shifted and he reached out to brace himself against the shelf. His hand collided with a small box, sending it to the floor. Adrian froze and held his breath, fading into a shadow.

Roberts turned toward the direction of the noise; he now knew Adrian was still there and his approximate location in the building. "Come on out, you freak!"

Julie's name brought Natalie from her stupor; she twisted in Roberts' grip, scratched at his hands and kicked at his shins. Natalie yelled, her voice full of hope, "Julie? Adrian? Are you alright?"

Adrian managed to tear his eyes from Natalie's frenzied attack of Roberts. He checked the location of the crowbar on the floor; it was maybe twenty feet away. But Roberts, still struggling with Natalie, was a few feet closer. Adrian forced himself to breathe normally, ready to push his injured body past its limits.

Adrian temporarily forgotten, Roberts quickly spun Natalie around and snaked his arm around her neck. He tightened his grip, "That was a mistake, you little bitch!" Leaning backward, Roberts lifted Natalie off her feet, his arm crushing her windpipe. When her flailing limbs went limp, Roberts dropped her to the floor. Standing above Natalie's prone body, Roberts placed his foot on her chest, "You better come out, Adrian, before your girlfriend _really_ gets hurt."

Roberts stepped away from Natalie when Adrian staggered from behind the shelf. Silently congratulating himself for Adrian's numerous cuts and bruises, Roberts smugly goaded, "_You _think you can protect her?"

Without regard to his battered condition, Adrian charged at Roberts. A cry of pain escaped Adrian's lips as he collided with his target; tangled together, he and Roberts hit the concrete, hard. Rolling over, Adrian pushed Roberts onto his back. He struggled to avoid Roberts' grasping hands and landed several blows. A wild look in his eye, Adrian snarled, "I'm going to kill you, you sick bastard."

Roberts bucked and managed to throw Adrian off of him. Adrian staggered to his feet, meeting Roberts face to face at last. Adrian lurched over and grabbed the crowbar from the floor. Swinging it wildly, Adrian menaced, "Leave Natalie alone!"

His hands by his sides, Roberts took a step back and laughed, "Come on, freak, you can't save the bitch."

Driven by anger, Adrian took a lunging swing at Roberts and was thrown off balance.

Roberts saw his opening. He leaned in and punched Adrian's already damaged ribs. Adrian doubled over in agony, the crowbar clattering to the ground. Roberts brought his hands together and slammed Adrian on the back of his shoulders. Adrian crumpled to the ground in a heap.

"Now stay down!" Roberts screamed as he kicked at Adrian several times. Grabbing the crowbar, Roberts stepped behind Adrian and slipped the bar under his chin. With all his might, Roberts pulled Adrian back, tight up against himself. Adrian struggled to his feet, clawing at Roberts' hands, gasping for a breath.

"No-" Adrian groaned, consciousness beginning to wane. He felt Roberts dragging him back to the hoist; Adrian hit the ground with a thud when Roberts released his grip. Adrian moaned and his eyes drifted shut.

Convinced that Adrian was rendered unconscious, Roberts snarled, "Don't get up, I'll be right back." He stepped away and let the crowbar slip from his hand.

His head spinning, Adrian held his throat, gagging and coughing. He took several shaky breaths and his blurred vision began to focus. He watched Roberts walk across the room to fetch another zip-tie. Adrian dragged himself up onto his knees. If he hoped to protect Natalie, he couldn't let Roberts tie him up again. In desperation Adrian looked around and spied the crowbar lying several feet away. Mustering what little strength was left in him, he reached for it. Crowbar in hand, he pushed himself to his feet and charged. Roberts was ten feet away. He turned to face Adrian.

A lone gunshot echoed in the warehouse.

Adrian was thrown back and landed hard on the concrete, blood already starting to puddle under his body. His world slipping into darkness, Adrian's last conscience thought was of Natalie.

Roberts loomed over the detective. "Tsk, tsk. You forgot I had a gun, didn't you?"

* * *

Julie brought her hands to her mouth, stifling a cry. She had remained in her hiding spot, convinced Adrian would be able to subdue Roberts and that her mother would have been fighting by his side. Her hope now gone, Julie had to brave the dangerous neighborhood and get help.

With her attention on Roberts, she quickly glanced over her shoulder, noting the location of the back door. Julie silently crept towards the exit; she opened the door a crack and slipped through, a shaft of light following her outside into the night. Positive she had not been heard, she eased the door shut.

With her hand still on the doorknob, Julie quietly promised, "I'll be right back with help." She spun on her heels and froze; waiting behind her in the dark was a cold, impassive face.

* * *

A/N-Oh no! Poor Adrian! Poor Julie! Eek!

~FYI- it looks like this story will end up being 25 chapters, so there's still plenty of drama ahead!


	14. 14 Redemption

Chapter 14 Redemption

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: _**~~Parental Guidance for Extreme Violence~~**_Boy, don't you hate that warning? LOL, this should be the last chapter needing said warning.

I know I'm posting early, but I couldn't bear leaving Adrian wounded for days…

* * *

Natalie groaned and opened her eyes, her head spinning. Roberts was standing over her, a smirk on his face. She attempted to lift her head, only to have it drop back to the floor, "What do you want?"

"Come on Natalie, I've something to show you." Annoyance in his voice, Roberts reached down and grasped Natalie's wrists. Dragging her across the floor, he dropped her next to Adrian's motionless body and stepped away. He crossed the room to get a zip-tie. Natalie rolled to her side and touched Adrian. Planting her hands on the floor, she sat up, the world coming back into focus.

"_Adrian?"_ She sobbed as her eyes scanned his bloody and bruised face. Tearing her eyes from his face, she skimmed over his tattered shirt and injuries, horrified at the punishment he had gone through. Natalie gently placed her hands on his stomach, relieved to feel the shallow rise and fall. Suddenly, her mind registered what her eyes had quickly passed over - a gunshot wound. "_NO_!" Crawling around Adrian, she placed her hands against his right shoulder, realizing he was in shock. Her hands firmly clamped over the wound, she leaned down and whispered near his ear, "Hold on, I'm with you -you're going to be okay."

Roberts returned from across the room, a zip-tie in his hands, "So, what do you think, Natalie?" He stopped near Adrian's feet and lightly nudged him.

"I think you're a monster!" Natalie shrieked, "Why did you do this to him?"

"This is all Adrian's fault, don't get mad at me!" Roberts tilted his head, a mocking look crossing his face. "He made me do this to _him_," Roberts leaned over and pushed Natalie aside, "_And_ he's to blame for what I'm going to do to _you_."

Natalie crawled back to Adrian's side, dread in her eyes, "Stop, leave him alone!"

Roberts backhanded her, sending her to the floor. He caught one of her feet and pulled, depositing her several feet away. Natalie lay in a daze, unable to move.

He returned to Adrian and put the zip-tie around his wrists. Roberts, eyes shining, gleefully narrated his actions for the unconscious detective. "Now Mr. Monk, I hope you don't mind that I've tied you up again. Yes, I know you're _too_ injured for me to string you up completely, I mean, for Pete's sake, you've been shot! So I guess I'll just drag you up to your knees. Is that okay with you? I really want you to have a good view of what's going to happen next." He chuckled as he threaded the chain between Adrian's hands.

"Not to sound boastful, but I think I've far exceeded what I learned in prison. I mean, to beat someone is one thing, but to _torture them_, well, that's a whole other level of human interaction, isn't it? I believe I excel at it! And _you_ were my inspiration." Roberts stood and stepped around the lift, working the lever until Adrian was pulled to his knees.

Adrian let out a cry, his body sweating and trembling from the pain. Eyes screwed tight, Adrian's chin dropped to his chest breathing heavily.

Roberts sunk down on one knee in front of Adrian and grabbed hold of his hair, pulling Adrian's head up. "Hmm, you're going to need to wake up now- I don't want you to sleep through Natalie's, umh, ahh,_ sacrifice_." Slapping Adrian's face, Roberts leered, "Come on, open those eyes. I going to show you something you'll never forget."

Adrian's head lolled against his bicep and his eyes fluttered open. He managed to gasp, "Please, don't, hurt, Natalie."

"Hurt Natalie?" Roberts rose to his feet and looked down at Adrian. "This is about hurting_ you_, my dear friend. I thought we already established that. Natalie is just another way for _me_ to get to _you_!" Roberts picked up the crowbar and poked at Adrian's wounded shoulder, eliciting a guttural moan. Roberts snickered, "For three long years I dreamed of ways to punish you. I've considered hundreds of different scenarios; so many ways to torture you. But tonight is turning out better that I ever imagined. Tonight is a night you'll remember forever!" Roberts gave a chuckle, "Well, _if_ you live, I should say."

Dropping the crowbar, Roberts strode over to Natalie's limp body and rolled her to her back. Grasping her wrists, he dragged her closer to Adrian, directly into his line of vision. Roberts unbuckled his belt and brazenly looked at Adrian, "How's this? Can you see?"

"Don't," Adrian begged as he swayed on his knees, too weary to pull himself to his feet.

Roberts pulled his belt from the loops and flung it at Adrian. "You didn't answer my question, Mr. Monk." Roberts stepped over Natalie's unmoving body and shouted at Adrian, "Can- You -See?"

"_I_ can see." The calm voice came from the dark doorway.

Roberts raised his hand to his brow, squinting from the overhead lighting. Stepping away from Natalie, he brought his hand to his gun, "Is that you, Da-?"

"It is. So relax, Roberts." Damien Beck came forward into the light. He stopped behind Adrian, watching as Roberts released the grip on his gun. Beck's eyes swept over Adrian strung up and Natalie lying on the floor and a feeling of sympathy stirred in his gut. Roberts had gone too far. The scene before him was more than retribution; it was sadistic. And, unacceptable.

Beck fixed his eyes on Roberts, his disgust hidden behind a placid expression. "How's it going, Ralph?"

A quick smile crossed Roberts' face, "Well, I've had a very, ah,_ productive_ day. I think Adrian finally realizes he shouldn't have betrayed me. I-"

Damien interrupted, "The plan was to toy with Monk and drive his family away. I don't remember the _all-mighty_ authorizing bloodshed."

"Sorry, but once I had him here, I couldn't help myself. One blow led to another and another- beating him was very addictive. The gunshot was in self defense though; he asked for it. But don't worry, what I'm about to do _will_ definitely break up their happy little home."

Damien watched as Roberts straddled Natalie's body, pinning her to the floor. Sweat formed on Damien's upper lip and his heartbeat increased. Things were about to get out of control.

Roberts smirked and flicked his eyes to Beck, "Did you want to join in the fun?"

His face a mask, a faint twitch indicated 'no'.

Roberts raised an eyebrow, "You're welcome to watch if you want. I'm sure that would add another layer to Adrian's _enjoyment _of tonight."

Roberts grinned at Adrian, "I realize you never forget anything, but I want this to be seared into your memory. Every time you close your eyes, I want you to see what Natalie endured." Roberts winked at Adrian, "This is your fault and she'll never forgive you for this."

Damien kept his voice even, "Get off her, Ralph. This isn't part of the plan."

"Plan's change; _you_ need to adapt. I've decided _this_ is necessary." Roberts yanked Natalie's hands above her head and laughed at her weak attempt to struggle, "Hold on, Natalie. It's time for you to pay for Adrian's betrayal."

"No!" Natalie murmured. She looked to see the anguish on Adrian's face, he couldn't stop Roberts. Natalie cast a pleading look to the stranger standing behind Adrian, "Please."

"Shut up already!" Pulling at Natalie's shirt, Roberts ripped it open, the buttons scattering across the floor. He hissed, "No one's going to help you."

Damien narrowed his eyes, his voice low, "Roberts, I said stop. This is going too far. I won't allow it."

"_You_ won't allow it? I'm going to punish _that_ bastard any way I want! He ruined my life!" Roberts flung an accusatory finger at Adrian.

"And _you_ have no say over what I do- _you_ are not the judge of_ me_!" A rabid look on his face, Roberts continued to rant, spittle flying from his lips. "I'll have my retribution, I'll torment that freak any way I damn well please, so shut the hell up! You can't stop me! No one can stop me!"

"Ralph Roberts!" Damien raised his voice.

Robert looked up in time to see the gun in Beck's hand.

It was the last thing he saw.

Squeezing off a single round, the bullet entered his right eye socket and continued its trajectory through the back of his skull. Roberts was thrown off of Natalie, landing on the far side of her. A quiet gasp left his body and then he was still. Damien holstered his gun and shook his head in disgust, "I can stop you, you crazy bastard."

"Stay down, eyes closed until I release you," Damien growled as Natalie began to squirm away from the dead man.

Natalie froze, heeding his command. She held her breath as his footsteps crossed the concrete floor.

Damien pulled an army knife from his pocket and stepped in front of Adrian, glancing at Adrian's ashen face and glazed eyes. "We're even now, Mr. Monk." Gripping Adrian's left arm, he proceeded to cut Adrian's bonds, helping him slide to the floor. Beck strode over to Natalie and unlocked her handcuffs, "Give me a minute to leave then you can go to him."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

As the footsteps faded away, Natalie scrambled to her feet and hurried over to Adrian. Putting pressure on his shoulder wound, she scanned his unresponsive face. Feeling his body tremble, silent tears streaked her face, "Can you hear me, Adrian? I'm here with you."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Pulling away from the warehouse, Damien dialed 911 and directed an ambulance and police to the building. Flooring it, he took a detour past the reservoir and came to a quick stop. He tossed his gun and the phone into the water and sighed deeply. He had just one more thing to do before he left this city, and his life, behind.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

With great reluctance, Natalie left Adrian's side and ran over to Roberts' corpse. She winced and groaned as she patted down his pockets, searching for a cell phone. Letting out a tearful cry when she found one, she returned to Adrian and dialed 911. Just as the emergency operator answered her call, Natalie heard sirens in the distance.

* * *

A/N-Okay, so Adrian is _still_ lying on the ground bleeding, but at least Natalie is there and help is on the way. Feel better? I do! ;)


	15. 15 Reunions

Chapter 15 Reunions

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Oh Joy-no parental guidance warning!

Grateful thanks to MW, SC, and ah~ LOL, the only thing harder than writing a violent scene is reviewing it! ;)

* * *

Pocketing Adrian's wallet, Leland exited the empty cabin, rapidly walked across the porch and down the steps. He cast a quick glance at Bobby and Peggy sitting in his car and shook his head; no luck. "Damn," he muttered as he approached the car, its headlights casting eerie shadows across the scene. Leland tilted his head and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. A rectangular shape on the ground caught his attention. Narrowing his eyes, he squatted down by the front bumper of his car and picked up a picture. Holding it in the beam of the headlamp, the Captain studied it for a second before realizing it was Julie. "Oh hell, this isn't good." He stood up and walked away from the car towards the open field; moisture welling up in his eyes. He welcomed the cover of darkness.

Leland swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and blew out a deep breath before turning to look at the Davenports. Trapped in the car, their fallen faces told him they might already know Julie's fate. The Captain knew he had to broach the subject of Julie but first wanted to search the house at the other end of the property. Maybe by then his emotions would be under control. Sliding the picture into his jacket pocket, he returned to the car, "Okay folks, I think we need to go back to that house at the beginning of the dirt road." He started the car and they started the slow drive back down the lane, his thoughts on Adrian and Natalie.

"What did you find inside the cabin, Captain? Any sign of Natalie?" Bobby's voice was unemotional, bereft of hope.

"Sorry, no. All I found was Adrian's wallet," Leland kindly omitted mentioning that he had seen signs of a struggle.

"Adrian, _humph."_ Peggy sneered and settled back into the back seat.

"What the hell does that mean, Peggy?" Leland heatedly bristled, stomping on the brakes and flipping on the car's interior light. He turned and glared at Peggy, "What's your problem with Adrian?"

"That man Roberts?" Peggy raised her hands and angrily swirled them around her face, "He told us this all this happened _because of Adrian_. It's why we were kidnapped, it's why Natalie is missing and, it's why Julie is-" A sob creased her face, "Julie is dead! It's all Adrian's fault!"

Leland unconsciously reached into his pocket and touched the edge of the picture, "Now hold on. How do you know Julie is dead? Roberts told you that? And you believed him?"

"He showed us a picture of Julie," Bobby sighed, sharing a glance with a tearful Peggy.

Leland pulled the picture out and held it out to Bobby, "This picture?"

Unwilling to touch the photo, Bobby merely nodded his head and looked away.

Peggy's bitter voice hissed, "Then Adrian started talking crazy to Natalie, getting her hopes up by convincing her that Julie's still alive, that the picture was faked. That's why Natalie stayed behind at that cabin! It's all Adrian's fault!"

"Hold on! Adrian saw the photo? He said it was a fake?" Leland shifted in his seat, excitement crossing his face as he looked from Peggy to Bobby.

"He had been drugged by then. I don't know how he even saw what was in the picture." Bobby sniffled.

Taking his foot off the brake, the Captain continued their journey down the lane, a renewed feeling of hope jolting him awake. "Peggy, Bobby, listen to me. I've know Adrian for over twenty years and I still don't know how he sees the things he sees. It seems like magic to me. But if he says that photo of Julie is fake, I believe him. A hundred percent. He's never wrong-Julie has to be alive!"

The Crown Victoria neared the end of the lane and came out from behind the garage. Leland slowed to a crawl, not wanting to surprise any awaiting officers. But since the location was isolated, backup had yet to arrive, their sirens just now piercing the night. Leland parked in front of the house, leaned over and removed a flashlight from the glove box. Time was ticking away. Once again he would not wait for backup before heading into danger.

With the Davenports safely waiting in the car, Leland cautiously approached the house. _This is stupid-I should wait for backup. TK will kill me if I get hurt. _His eyes scanned the house for any movement, his ears alert to any sound. An adrenaline rush drowned out his fear and helped him continue his forward progress to the front opened the door; the glow of the chandelier revealed an empty foyer. Slowly making his way through the entire house, Leland flipped on light after light and kept a death-grip on his weapon. _No one home._ His heartbeat continued to thud in his ears even after he knew the building was vacant.

Returning to the kitchen, Leland scrutinized the pictures left scattered across the table. He immediately noticed they all included Adrian, obvious surveillance pictures. "Roberts, you son of a b-" he muttered as he looked from one picture to the next, "You wanted to hurt Adrian's family and friends."

Leland looked toward the front windows and saw the red and blue flash of approaching patrol vehicles. Knowing how on edge the arriving officers would be, Leland holstered his gun and took his badge from his waist and hung it from his breast pocket. He squinted into the searchlight as he exited the house, his hands to his side. "Stand down! I'm Captain Leland Stottlemeyer. I searched the house and it appears empty. We still need to be on the lookout for Ralph Roberts- he's kidnapped three people."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Leland stood with the Davenports and impatiently watched as the Crime Scene Investigators entered the house. This was not his jurisdiction and the commander in charge demanded Leland wait outside. The Captain knew this had been Roberts' hideout and was at his wits end, thinking a clue to Adrian and Natalie's whereabouts was hidden somewhere in the house. It might take the Crime Scene Investigators hours to find_ the_ clue- and Leland knew they didn't have time to spare.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Leland flipped the cell open, hoping it was Joe Christie with some good news. "Stottlemeyer."

His eyebrows immediately knit together, "Hold on, I can't understand you. Who is this?" After a pause, his voice softened and his face became a rollercoaster of emotions. "Nat, calm down. Okay- Ssh, it's alright, start over-He did what? - How is he? - Nat, calm down- where are you? - You already called 911?"

The Captain motioned for the Davenports to get in the car as he slid into the driver's seat. Cell phone still pressed to his ear, he turned up the volume on the police scanner and immediately heard backup units and ambulances being called out to an abandoned building downtown. "Don't worry Nat, I'll find you-He'll be alright, I promise. Just keep pressure on the wound and I'll be there."

Disconnecting the call, Leland switched on the red emergency dome-light on the dashboard and warned the Davenports, "You better put your seatbelts on!"

Peggy and Bobby exchanged worried glances as the Captain floored the sedan. "That was Natalie? What's happening? Is she alright?" Peggy, in the back seat, leaned forward and gripped onto the back of Bobby's seat.

With both hands locked on the steering wheel, Leland winced as he quickly pushed the car up to eighty miles an hour. "Nat's okay but-" The Captain flipped an accusatory look a Peggy in the rear view mirror, "Adrian's been shot. We'll be there in ten minutes."

Squealing tires struggled to remain on the blacktop. The Crown Victoria rushed full-tilt through the deserted streets. God help anyone who might get in Leland's way.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Her left hand firmly clamped against Adrian's right shoulder, Natalie tossed the phone aside and shifted on her knees. With the ambulance and police sirens getting closer with each breath, Natalie leaned over Adrian and gently touched his face, praying he would draw strength from her contact. Not getting a reaction, Natalie fought to keep the panic from her voice, "Hold on, Adrian, help is almost here. Can you hear the sirens? Leland's coming too. They're almost here; you're going to be alright."

Continuing to stroke his cheek, Natalie searched Adrian's pallid face; she hoped to see the smallest tic, anything to indicate he was aware of her presence. Increasing the pressure on his face, she let out a tearful cry when he flinched ever so slightly. "I'm sorry, Adrian." Pained that she had added to his suffering, Natalie leaned down a placed the lightest of kisses on his lips. Lingering for just a moment, she ached for a response that didn't come and willed away the unthinkable_. I can't lose you. _

~~~~~MN~~~~~

The red flashing lights of the emergency vehicles swept through the room and Natalie felt an overwhelming panic tighten in her chest, robbing her of breath. Help was finally here but, what if they weren't in time? Natalie looked at the blood staining her hands and fleeting images of Adrian jumbled in her mind.

_Desperately holding on for dear life, Natalie was in the back of a speeding dump truck, sure this was the end. But when she turned her head, she saw Adrian hanging out of a police car, a gun in hand, engaging in the impossible to rescue her. In a blink, Adrian was running through the woods and holding a rifle on Paul Buchanan, saving her from an 'unfortunate hunting accident.' The image shifted and Adrian, sick with the flu and wearing his bathrobe, was fighting with the killer lawyer at the recycling center, paper strew all over him. Natalie then saw Harold Krenshaw's cousin, Joey, looming above her with a pipe, a crazed look on his face. Although they were on top of a twenty-eight story building, Adrian braved his phobias and subdued him. Natalie then remembered the Voodoo doll and shivered. It had sparked a fear in her she couldn't overcome, but Adrian had been so reassuring and protective. He had taken care of her while saving her from the murdering paramedic. No matter what the danger or problem, Adrian had always been there for her. _

A fleeting smile crossed Natalie's face and she murmured, "You claim to be a '_muss', _but you're the toughest man I've ever known, Adrian Monk. You've already gone through so many hardships and you'll survive this, too- _you have to."_

From out of nowhere, Natalie was jolted by the recollection of Mitch's unexpected death. She remembered every detail of the day the naval officers came to their house, every word of the notification. Natalie had never felt so completely helpless, her life had been decimated. It had taken her a dozen years to find love again and now, this time, she _could_ do something to save the man she loved. Hearing the slam of the ambulance's doors outside the building, Natalie came out of her dazed state and began to shout, "In here! Hurry, we need help!"

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

"Keep pressure on his shoulder for another minute, okay?" The voice of the EMT was reassuring and calm and _almost_ lessened Natalie's panic.

"I'm not letting go," Natalie whispered, her voice thick. She was grateful they had finally arrived and, to save Adrian, she would do anything they asked.

Natalie watched as the first EMT settled on the far side of Adrian and checked Adrian's breathing, pulse, and pupil dilation. The second medic crowded next to Natalie, the warmth of his body an upsetting reminder of how unnaturally cold and clammy Adrian felt. Without hesitation, the medic opened his kit and methodically laid out a host of supplies; gauze, pressure bandages, scissors, IV needles, tubes and fluids. He grabbed the pair of scissors and proceeded to cut away Adrian's blood-stained shirt, exposing numerous bruises, welts and cuts. Natalie sucked in a breath, telling herself to remain calm; the worst was over- things had to get better.

"Okay, you can let go now." The EMT was poised with bandages, ready to dress the gunshot wound. As Natalie removed her hand and scurried backward, the paramedics worked in unison and quickly stemmed the blood flow from Adrian's shoulder. The most serious injury under control, one of the medics began to administer oxygen while the other asked Natalie for Adrian's medical information, "Miss, is he on any medication?"

"No, but he was given something intravenously, at least two doses. It was some kind of sedative or tranquilizer." Natalie stood and wrung her hands; upset she couldn't tell them more about the drug but also upset over how they were handling Adrian. She knew it was crazy but she flinched as the paramedics' hands touched Adrian's body. She knew Adrian would be freaking out if he were conscious.

"Three doses, I saw three needle marks in his arm. Any health problems?" The medic looked up to see Natalie's head shake and began to confer with his partner.

Natalie helplessly stood by; her heart beat faster, her stomach knotted tighter with every medical diagnosis uttered by the EMTs. Their words echoing in her mind, Natalie was lulled into a nightmarish trance.- _Ballistic Trauma to the shoulder- Grade 3 Hypovolaemic shock-Soft tissue Injuries- Shoulder subluxation- Blunt trauma contusions plus lacerations-Minor second-degree burns- _The list seemed endless.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Red, clear and blue lights dancing across the building's broken facade, the Captain swung the Crown Victoria beside a marked police car. An ambulance was parked nearby and Leland was relieved to see that the paramedics were already inside, taking care of Adrian. He pointed out the ambulance to Peggy and Bobby, "Why don't you wait over there, I'm going in." Not waiting for a reply, Leland slid from the car and bolted towards the building.

Flashing his badge at the officer guarding the perimeter, Leland strode into the building, blindly calling out, "Natalie, I'm here!" After stepping several feet into the room, he hesitated, scanning the scene. Blood spilled across the floor, Leland immediately noticed Roberts, lying dead in the center of the room. Although he knew it was uncharitable, the Captain felt a rush of satisfaction and snorted, a small smirk crossing his face.

Tearing his eyes from the corpse, the Captain spied Natalie across the room. She stood hovering over two EMTs who were diligently working on Adrian. Natalie, tiny and frail, swayed on her feet and had her hands tightly pressed against her stomach. Leland only caught a glimpse of Adrian, but he saw Adrian's pallor and enough blood on the ground to know the situation was life threatening. Bile unexpectedly rose in his throat and Leland had to clamp his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from being sick_. _He looked to the ceiling and scolded himself- _Damn it, this isn't your first crime scene. Get a hold of yourself, Natalie needs you._

The Captain forced a neutral expression to his face and approached the group, his eyes briefly sweeping over Adrian's wounds before focusing in on Adrian's pale face. He reached Natalie's side and placed his hand on her back, "Natalie? How-"

Natalie jumped, her trance broken. Desperate and lost, her eyes found Leland's familiar face and she crumpled. Falling into his arms, Natalie was finally able to release the tears she had been holding back. "Leland, I'm so scared. He might d-"

"Stop it, Natalie, he won't! Ssh, I promise he'll be okay. Adrian's a fighter. We just need to have faith." The Captain tightened his arms around Natalie, rocking her gently. He watched the EMTs worked on Adrian and prayed God wouldn't make a liar out of him.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

As the EMT returned to the ambulance and retrieved the gurney, Bobby and Peggy pressed for an update on Natalie and Adrian's condition. With a cool, professional demeanor, the medic relayed the most basic facts, "We have not examined Ms. Teeger, but she appears fine. But I'm afraid Mr. Monk's condition is very serious, life threatening. We'll be bringing him out in a few minutes. "

After the EMT grabbed his supplies and left, Bobby cleared his throat, "Peggy? Do you think we were too hard on Adrian- blaming him for all this? Natalie _doesn't _blame him. She loves him and she's going to need our support to get through this."

Ignoring the police car that pulled up ten feet from the ambulance, Peggy shook her head, "I know she loves him, but I can't forgive him. Ever. Julie is, was-" Peggy's voice broke and she slouched against the open ambulance. Bobby placed his hand on Peggy's shoulder, perhaps she was right. Adrian_ had_ brought Ralph Roberts into their lives and now Julie _was dead._

The doors to the police cruiser opened up and the police scanner added more discord to the chaotic night. Distracted by the sound and movement, Bobby looked over and blinked. And blinked again. _Could it be?_

"Grandpa- Grandma?" Julie flashed her police escort a tearful smile and ran to join the Davenports at the ambulance. Rushing into their arms, Julie was crushed by hugs and tears. When she was finally given a chance to speak, only one question was on her lips, "How're Mom and Dad?"

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Natalie gripped Leland as the medics pulled Adrian onto the gurney; still unconscious, Adrian was a rag-doll in the EMTs hands. Natalie whispered Adrian's name, too quiet for Leland to hear. After Adrian was securely settled, Natalie came to his side and took his hand. She held tight, determined to never let him go. With Leland a step behind Natalie, the group headed for the ambulance.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

"Your mom's fine, honey. But Adrian is, ah, was severely injured. The EMTs will be taking him to the hospital soon." Peggy quietly answered Julie's question.

"I know he was shot, Grandma. I saw it happen!" Julie whimpered.

"I'm sorry, Julie." Squeezing Julie in another hug, Peggy felt a crushing guilt. She had trusted the enemy, that evil Ralph Roberts, and had turned her heart away from Adrian-_after Adrian had professed his love for Natalie and Julie and had vowed to do anything for them._ Peggy had been scornful of Adrian and hadn't believed his devotion was genuine, but now-now Peggy felt the burden of her misjudgment. There was no excuse for what she had done but hoped Adrian and Natalie would someday forgive her.

"Look they're coming!" Julie squirmed from Peggy's embrace and rushed up to the group emerging from the building. Sharing a one armed embrace with Natalie, Julie placed her hand atop Natalie and Adrian's joined hands. Leaning over, she searched Adrian's unresponsive face, "Dad, hang in there. I love you."

The group continued their careful trek to the ambulance and Peggy and Bobby completed the cluster around Adrian, Peggy walking beside the gurney opposite Natalie. She looked down at Adrian's battered, unconscious body and sorrow took her breath away. As they neared the ambulance, Peggy steeled herself and managed to give Natalie an encouraging look, "He'll be alright, honey."

Natalie raised her eyes for a moment and nodded, acknowledging Peggy's unspoken apology.

Just before the EMT pushed the gurney into the ambulance, Peggy reached over and gently touched Adrian's hand, her heart aching for the man she never knew or appreciated. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Adrian. We're all here for you."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

The rising sun brought relief from the long night. The Captain, with Julie and the Davenports crowded in his vehicle, closely followed the ambulance to the hospital. As the ambulance approached each of the intersections, Leland's breath caught as the traffic lights immediately turned green. _Green, not red! Adrian's usual bad luck had not interfered. _Leland felt a spark of hope grow in his heart.

* * *

A/N- Hmm, where was Julie? You'll find that out in the next chapter! Plus, an unexpected visitor shows up.~ How's that for a teaser?


	16. 16 Stories

Chapter 16 Stories

Standard Disclosure: I don't own Monk.

Notes: We're at the hospital and, as promised, Julie explains where she was and an unexpected character pops up. LOL, a pre-alert alert for upcoming angst and drama!

Lots of love to alex hoodle, monknataliefan, MonkNat08, Monkwriter, and SpaceCadet47...ya'll are the best;)

* * *

As was his usual routine, he turned the alarm clock off after the fourth buzz, raised his head and looked toward the window. The pink tint of the sky told him that today was going to be another beautiful day. However, the weather conditions didn't matter. Once again he would remain safely ensconced inside. After he was washed and dressed, his day commenced; it would be a day exactly like the previous day. A push of a button and the coffee maker sprung to life, a twist of a dial and the radio was, once again, his morning companion.

The news report on the radio began exactly at 8 am, trumpeting the shocking events that occurred the previous night. One man dead and San Francisco's most famous detective hospitalized in critical condition, the broadcaster's excitement over such a sensational story was thinly disguised. Disbelieving what he had heard, he changed the radio station to verify the facts of the story_. _

With only a flicker of hesitation, he realized today's routine_ had_ to be interrupted. He turned off the radio and coffee maker and reached for the phone.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~~

When Leland's cell phone buzzed, he excused himself before answering, not wanting to disturb the solemn mood in the waiting room. Once in the hallway he leaned against the wall, physically and emotionally drained from the long night, "Stottlemeyer here."

After a lengthy pause, the Captain rubbed his brow, "Okay Joe, if you could, I'd appreciate if you'd go and get him. Hopefully I'll see you in a bit but, if not, I'll understand why. Thanks in advance for the effort."

Leland disconnected the call and paced outside the waiting room, observing Julie and the Davenports quietly comforting Natalie. They had been at the hospital for almost two hours and, without any updates on Adrian, the Captain observed the family's anxiousness increasing with every passing minute. They looked shell-shocked and needed a distraction, a release from the situation. Leland automatically remembered how easy it was to distract Adrian. He chuckled and shook his head - _Jeez, one time Adrian was so distracted looking at the color of the sand, he didn't notice the crime scene was on a nude beach! What a-_

Catching a glimpse of Natalie, Leland's grin disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. His best friend was fighting for his life while they were stuck waiting, helpless. The Captain gritted his teeth, wanting to punch the wall, wanting to do something, _anything._ He quit pacing when he realized there _was_ something he could do for Adrian. He could comfort and distract Adrian's loved ones from their worry and be the best damn cop possible by continuing to work the case. Leland's eyes honed in on Julie and he knew he could accomplish both goals.

~~~~MN~~~~~~

"Can you tell us what happened, kiddo? How did you get to safety?" Leland pulled up a chair across from Julie, flipped it backwards and sat with his arms draped across the back. The Captain cast a glance at Natalie; her rapid, shallow breathing caused him to worry. Fearing she was on the brink of an emotional breakdown, Leland hoped Natalie would be distracted by listening to Julie's ordeal and her subsequent joyous return.

Julie sat between her mother and grandmother, her head resting on Natalie's shoulder. Brushing her hair from her face, she sat up straight, "I'm not sure, Captain. It was really weird. I snuck out of that building after I saw Da-" Julie's eyes welled up and her lips quivered. She forced the words out, "I saw Dad shot."

Natalie embraced her and kissed the side of Julie's head, "Ssh, it's okay. Keep going, sweetie."

A small smile emerged, hidden beneath Leland's mustache; although Julie was upset, he was happy to see Natalie's maternal instinct flare up.

Julie wiped her eyes and looked from her mother to the Captain, "Okay. I, umh, I snuck out the back door, wanting to go get help. But there was some guy out there, he just appeared behind me! He grabbed my hands and turned me around, covering my mouth so I wouldn't scream. He told me to keep quiet, pushed me over to a car and made me get into the trunk." Julie flipped her hands palm side up, unsure of what else to say.

"So did you see his face or notice anything unusual about the car? License plate, maybe?" Leland knew it was a long shot, but he had to ask.

"No, I don't remember his face, it was pretty dark. But his car- it was weird looking. It was old, I think." Julie cocked her head in puzzlement, unable to describe what she had observed. "I was so scared, I wasn't paying attention. I usually notice everything; I learned that from, you know, Dad. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we'll come back to that later. I'm sure you noticed more than you realize. Keep going, you're doing really good." Leland patted her knee.

"Okay, so I was in the car's trunk. I don't know how long I was in there, but then I heard a shot! It was pretty close. That freaked me out because I thought maybe Dad got shot again or maybe Mom-" Julie looked to the ceiling, blinking back more tears.

"You're almost done, kiddo, keep going. What happened next?" Leland prompted, realizing that Julie heard the shot that ended Roberts' life.

"Okay, let me see. The next thing I heard was the guy getting into the car and starting it up. The engine was really loud- it sounded like a race car. We drove for a while and then he pulled over for a minute, I could tell we were stopped. I have no idea what he was doing. Then we drove again for a short distance before we parked again. I heard him get out of the car. He pounded on the trunk and told me to close my eyes, so I did." Julie paused and took a breath.

She looked at the Captain and shrugged her shoulders, "I shut my eyes and he opened the trunk. He pulled me out and guided me away from the car, all the while telling me I should be thankful he was doing this. He then stood behind me and told me to open my eyes and walk straight to the corner of the next street. – I did and saw a police station down the block, so I ran to it!"

Leland scrunched his eyes in disbelief, "So this mystery guy threw you in his car trunk, went into the building and, ahh, _dealt_ with Roberts and then turned around and safely delivered you to a police station?"

Julie nodded, perplexed by the situation as well, "Yep."

Leland shared a bittersweet smile with Natalie, "Our Good Samaritan sure is a mystery. This is just the kind of puzzle I'd call Adrian to solve."

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~~

Joe Christie walked swiftly down the hallway, the _thunk_ of nervous, unsure footsteps echoing behind him. They reached the waiting room and Joe stopped in the doorway, sympathetic to how difficult the journey had been for his companion. "Are you alright?"

With a nod, Ambrose Monk weakly smiled, "Right now I'm just worried about how Adrian is doing."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

Natalie raised her head and blinked in disbelief when she heard the familiar, soft voice. Jumping to her feet, she strode across the floor and captured Adrian's brother in a tight embrace. A slew of emotions swirled in her heart and tears fell as she felt him flinch from her contact_-Overjoyed to feel the additional support and love, terrified that Ambrose must think Adrian is dying, angry that she was hugging the wrong Monk brother, agitated because she was sympathetic to how upset Ambrose must be, desperately glad to have this connection with Adrian, no matter how tenuous, proud that Ambrose left the security of his home-_

Natalie finally released her hold and wiped her eyes. "Ambrose! I can't believe you're here!"

Ambrose folded his hands together and nervously scanned the room before meeting her eyes. His voice was nearly inaudible, "I, I had to be here, Natalie. How is he?"

Natalie sighed, her face suddenly tired and expressionless, "We don't know. We've been here almost three hours and we're still waiting for an update."

Ambrose slightly shifted his shoulder and Natalie's chest tightened- Adrian had that same exact mannerism. Natalie then realized Ambrose must be in the midst of a panic attack. She needed to help him with his agoraphobia. Gripping his arm, she offered an encouraging smile, "Come here and let me introduce my parents, Bobby and Peggy. And of course you remember Julie."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

While Ambrose was meeting Natalie's parents and reconnecting with Julie, Leland took the opportunity to signal Joe Christie and slip from the waiting room. After they were out of earshot, Leland gave Joe a look of sympathy, "So how tough was it? Getting him here, I mean."

"He seemed on the verge of losing it, but he toughed it out. On the ride over, Ambrose fidgeted with the air vents in the dash and kept repeating '_I need to be strong for Adrian.'" _Joe suddenly yawned, the long night finally getting to him."Pardon me- Captain, what else can I do?"

Leland copied Joe's yawn, "You've done plenty, Joe. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Actually, I'd like to stick around and wait, you know, until we know Adrian's out of danger."

"Okay, why don't we go make some inquires and see if we can get an update?" Leland patted Joe's shoulder and together they walked to the nurses' station.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

The Captain cleared his throat as he and Joe leaned against the counter, their eyes burning holes into the nurse behind the desk. She was on the phone, her eyes focused on a computer monitor. Without bothering to look up, the nurse held up a finger, expecting them to wait.

"Excuse me!" The Captain demanded, shifting his weight so his shadow fell across the desk.

Once again the nurse jabbed her finger in the air and continued talking.

Leland and Joe exchanged glances. Clenching his jaw, Leland leaned over and pressed the disconnect button. The nurse glanced up, a sour look on her face. Leland narrowed his sharp, blue eyes, "The patient's name is Adrian Monk, and he's in surgery for a gunshot wound- among other things. You need to get us an update right now, missy."

The nurse's mouth pursed and she pushed her chair back from the desk, "I'll call security, sir if-"

"It's_ Captain_ Stottlemeyer of the SFPD! I don't care who you call, as long as you get me an update on my friend. Now!" Leland pounded on the counter and squared his shoulders.

A stricken look on her face, the nurse poked at the phone and called the nurses' station outside the operating rooms. Without making eye contact, she requested information on the gunshot victim, Adrian Monk. Halfway through the call, the nurse looked up, an apology in her eyes. Gently hanging up, she shook her head, "I'm sorry, he's still in surgery. He experienced some cardiovascular distress due to the hemorrhagic shock. The doctors are still attempting to stabilize him. They'll let you know when he's out of danger."

"Thank you, Miss, sorry for, you know-" Bowing his head, Leland walked from the counter and thrust his hands in his pockets.

"Are you going to tell Natalie?" Joe followed the Captain down the hall and looked to the waiting room.

"No, she's worried enough as it is. Let's just get everyone some coffees and sit with them. That's all we can do."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

"Why don't we take a little walk, Ambrose?" Since she could tell he was still distressed after meeting the Davenports, Natalie took Ambrose by the arm and led him out of the waiting room. Without speaking, they walked down the hall. For several brief seconds, Natalie closed her eyes and imagined she was holding onto Adrian's arm.

Turning the corner, they discovered several lonely chairs hidden beside a shelving unit stocked full of housekeeping supplies. With a simple nod toward the chairs, they decided to sit for a minute before heading back to the waiting room.

"Thank you Natalie, I appreciate this." Ambrose earnestly made eye contact as he and Natalie sat huddled side-by-side in the little alcove in the hallway.

Natalie could see the misery etched on his face. "Don't mention it._ I_ appreciate your coming to the hospital and I know Adrian would be so touched knowing that you're here. You're a good brother," Natalie gently placed her hand on his forearm.

Ambrose lowered his head and sobbed, "But I'm not! I've never been there for Adrian. He was the one always taking care of me!"

Natalie was a little surprised at the force of his outburst. Wanting to comfort him, she ran her hand up Ambrose's arm and stroked his shoulder, "But you're here for him today, that's what's important. You faced your agoraphobia. I'm very proud of you."

Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, Ambrose dried his face. He glumly shook his head, "You shouldn't be proud of me, I'm a coward, I've always been afraid." Ambrose snuck a look at Natalie, dark circles under his eyes. "Natalie, can I tell you about something that's been haunting me for eight days?"

Natalie couldn't help but smirk; it had been a long time since Adrian complained about being 'haunted' by something. Believing Ambrose's crisis would be a minor one, Natalie encouraged him to continue, "Sure, tell me what's been bothering you."

Ambrose remained leaning forward, his hands knit together. "I thoroughly clean Dad's office twice a year, and eight days ago was my scheduled day to clean. I clean the desk then the file cabinets and then the bookcases. There are four bookcases and I clean them in a specific order. First the bookcase on the far right, then-" Ambrose pulled his hands apart and sat back, "I guess it's not important I tell you my procedure. Okay so I was cleaning one of the shelves and removed a book_-Les Miserables_ by Victor Hugo- it was my favorite book when I was a child. Dad read it to us when I was eight and Adrian was four."

"That's a good memory, Ambrose. See your Dad-"

"Wait, that's not the whole story, Natalie. _That's_ not what's been haunting me." Ambrose impatiently interrupted, his soft voice whiny.

"Please continue," Natalie murmured. She flicked her eyes away, not wanting to show her annoyance.

"I love that book and wanted to read it on my own. When I turned nine, I asked Dad if I could borrow it, but he didn't trust me with it. Dad told me I couldn't touch it. But I couldn't help myself; whenever he went out, I would sneak into his office and take the book back to my bedroom to read."

Ambrose paused and Natalie sighed quietly; she wanted to go back to the waiting room but knew Ambrose still wasn't finished. She still didn't know why he was perturbed, but offered encouragement, "That was pretty brave of you."

Ambrose stared at the floor, "No, I wasn't brave-_ I_ disobeyed Dad and_ I_ deserved to be punished. Anyway, one day I had borrowed the book from our father's office and was reading it in my room. I didn't know it, but Dad had come home early that day. So I was reading and Adrian burst in and pulled the book from my hands. I was about to demand he return it, but then I saw Dad. He was coming down the hall towards my room. He had _the_ _Look_ on his face. Dad snatched the book from Adrian's hands and angrily reminded Adrian that we weren't allowed in his office. Adrian just stood there, mute, not rightfully accusing me of the theft. Dad was fuming and -"

Tears gathered in Natalie's eyes and she swallowed loudly. She could easily imagine Adrian, that sweet little five year-old with those brown, saucer eyes, looking up at Jack Sr.'s unforgiving scowl. How Adrian must have struggled to hold that immense book in his tiny hands. Natalie clamped her hand over her mouth, imagining what happened next, _imagining the worst_. For a fleeting moment, Natalie felt guilty listening to Ambrose, like she was violating Adrian's privacy. But she wanted, and needed, Ambrose to continue. Though she knew she couldn't protect Adrian from what happened next, maybe it could help her comfort him in the future.

"What happened then?" Natalie whispered.

"I don't know, Natalie, I ran from the room and hid in the attic." Ambrose pressed his hands to his face and leaned forward, "He stayed secluded in his room for two days and I was afraid to even knock on his door. - I never asked Adrian what happened, I was too afraid to ask. I'm so sorry Natalie."

Sitting back stiffly in her chair, Natalie looked away, her heart aching. She wanted to absolve Ambrose of this guilt, but she was too enraged. Natalie had often wondered about the childhood traumas Adrian and Ambrose endured, and now Ambrose admitted to not protecting his little brother. Adrian had been so alone. Hearing a whimper, Natalie stared at Ambrose's hunched figure. Pity and empathy replaced the anger. Natalie squeezed his shoulder and stood up, "Come on, let's get back to the family."

Ambrose sheepishly looked up, "You mean you don't hate me? You don't want me to leave?"

"Don't be silly-" Natalie blotted the tears from her eyes, "you're part of the family."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Her eyes riveted on the closed door leading to surgery, Natalie clamored to her feet when a doctor, still in his bloodied surgical scrubs, pushed open the door. As he walked towards the waiting room, Natalie noticed the grim look across his face. Natalie automatically gripped Julie and Peggy's hands and whispered, "Please God, I can't lose him." Leland clasped Ambrose on the shoulder and sucked in a breath. It was taking the doctor forever to walk to the waiting room.

Finally the doctor was before the group, fatigue showing on his face, "It was touch and go for a while, but Mr. Monk's being taken to the ICU-"

"Intensive care unit? Is he out of danger?" Natalie interrupted, panic in her voice.

"Well, his excellent health has given him more effective compensatory mechanisms to-"

"In English, doc. Please." Leland loudly interjected, his patience finally gone.

The doctor cast a wary look at the Captain before addressing Natalie, "As I was saying, the ballistic trauma coupled with the blood loss would have been decidedly more serious if Mr. Monk wasn't in such good physical condition. But, I'm highly optimistic for a positive outcome."

"Thank you, doctor!" Natalie eagerly stepped forward, tears threatening, "When can we see him?"

The doctor looked to the clock on the wall, "Maybe in half an hour? I'll have the charge nurse escort you to the ICU after he's settled."

~~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~

Almost an hour later, a nurse approached the waiting room and lightly knocked on the doorframe, "I'm looking for Adrian Monk's family."

Leland laughed, "That's us."

The nurse scanned the seven diverse faces staring back at her, "I mean his _immediate_ family. I can only take his immediate family into ICU."

Natalie looked from her parents to her daughter, to Ambrose, Leland and Joe Christie; love had tethered them together and Adrian was their anchor. "We are his immediate family."

Although the seven faces were dissimilar, the nurse did notice one common characteristic; the expression in their eyes. She took a small step backward into the hall and motioned with her hand, "Follow me, please."

* * *

A/N: I loved Leland in this chapter, didn't you? LOL ;) ~ Next chapter- Adrian's first steps toward healing his body, mind and, most importantly, his heart.


	17. 17 PTSD

Chapter 17 PTSD

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Angst Alert-you may need a tissue! Thanks for reading and reviewing! ;)

* * *

Her head resting heavily on her forearm, Natalie suddenly jerked upright, her eyes blinking open. She immediately looked down at the hospital bed and found Adrian safe, fast asleep. Natalie reached over and tenderly cradled Adrian's left hand in hers. When he shifted his arm in response to her touch, she murmured, "Thank you God."

Since it was after visiting hours, the ICU was hushed, the lights turned low. Settled in a chair at Adrian's bedside, Natalie twisted around and looked behind her, an uneasiness crawling across her skin. There was no one there, but she thought she had heard footsteps. Natalie scanned the hallway- no one there. She turned back to look at Adrian and was startled to see a surgeon standing opposite her, across Adrian's bed. The room was dimly lit but the blood spatters on his surgical scrubs were vividly bright. A surgical cap and mask concealed his face, but the malevolent brown eyes were instantly familiar.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Natalie hissed.

"Oh Natalie, I'll _always_ be with you and Adrian." A gleeful inflection in his voice betrayed the hidden smile. "Adrian had such a _memorable_ day! How's he feeling? But I am sorry_ we_ were interrupted, Natalie. I'm _dying_ to continue _our_ interaction. Let me take care of your boyfriend and we can continue where we left off, okay?"

Unable to speak, she felt a hand gripping her shoulder, restraining her in the chair. Natalie's eyes widened as her gaze skimmed down his bloody shirt to his ungloved hands; from out of nowhere, he produced a crimson-stained scalpel. She tried to yell but her words came out thick and incoherent. He chuckled and dragged the blade lightly across Adrian's chest, drawing a line of blood. Holding the surgical tool over Adrian's heart, the pitch of his voice began to change, "_Natalie? Open your eyes! You need to-_

"_Wake up_, Natalie." Peggy sputtered forcefully, her hand shaking Natalie's shoulder.

Natalie blinked her eyes and raised her head, "_Mom?_ Did you-" Natalie quickly looked to Adrian's chest; the hospital gown was intact and spotless. Natalie turned to her mother and, upon noticing Julie standing behind Peggy, gave a tired smile, "What are you two doing here so late? Julie?"

Julie stepped forward and quickly regarded Adrian's sleeping figure. Between the IV connected to his left arm and his right arm secured tight with a sling, he looked utterly helpless and vulnerable. Julie took several deep breaths before meeting her mother's eye, "Mom, it's eight _in the morning_. Remember we all left after visiting hours and Grandma and I said we'd be back first thing? How was last night? Is dad getting better? Did he wake up?"

Natalie pushed the gruesome image of Ralph Roberts from her thoughts and squeezed Adrian's hand, "The night-nurse who took his vitals said he's a lot better. He did regain consciousness late last night but I don't think he recognized me. The nurse said that was because of all the medications he was given. They're going to lower his doses later so he should be awake and alert this afternoon." She shifted in her chair, stiff and sore from her night at Adrian's side.

"Thank goodness," Peggy watched Natalie's rigid movements, "Natalie, now that he's out of danger, you need to go home and get some rest -"

"Mom, I'm not leaving Adrian alone!"

"He won't be alone._ I'll_ stay here with Adrian while Julie takes _you_ home to get some rest." Peggy placed her hand atop of Natalie's, ready to keep vigil over Adrian. "Don't argue with me, young lady. You need a break and I want to help. Go."

Admitting how achingly fatigued she was, Natalie looked down at her mother's hand and sighed, "I'll go on two conditions, Mom. First, you need to phone me if he wakes up- I don't care if it's ten minutes from now, you need to call so I can come back. Is that understood?"

Peggy shot a playful look to Julie, "Boy your mother is difficult!" She then looked to Natalie, "I promise I'll call you if he wakes up. What's the second condition?"

"I know this will sound weird, but you'll need to take the rings off your fingers if you're going to hold his hand. Even though he's not awake, he'll feel your rings and know you're not, you know, _me_. I don't want him to panic if he senses someone else is holding his hand." Natalie blushed slightly, not wanting to explain how sensitive Adrian skin was-_how she recently made a game of drawing words on his sleeping body, only to have him quote her messages the next morning-how her lightest touch could make him- _Natalie shook herself from her revelry, her cheeks now burning, "I know it's weird."

Peggy smirked and passed her rings over to Julie, "With all I'm learning about Adrian, that doesn't sound weird at all." Fanning her bare fingers before placing her hand over Natalie and Adrian's joined hands, Peggy reassured, "Okay, you can let go."

Natalie slid her hand away and looked to Adrian's face, watching for a reaction. When his expression didn't change, Natalie leaned over, kissed his forehead and murmured, "I'll be back soon. Mom will take care of you for a bit."

Julie looped her arm through Natalie's and tugged her away, "Come on, Mom. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back."

"Yes, _Mother_," Natalie rolled her eyes at Julie's bossiness. As Natalie stepped away from the bed, she touched Peggy's shoulder, "Thanks Mom, I appreciate this."

Momentarily taking her eyes from Adrian, Peggy nodded to Natalie, "I'm glad you're letting me help, honey."

~~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~~

After the quick ride home from the hospital, Julie parked the car in their driveway. She turned to her dozing mother, desperately wanting to wake her and immediately confide in her. Julie had been up half the night, blaming herself for the whole tragic mess. She wanted to confess her guilt over being so easily kidnapped and then, for not rescuing her parents when they needed her help. But Julie decided to keep quiet; her mother had enough to worry about. Right now, Julie needed to be an oasis of calm and strength.

Camouflaging her sorrow with a stoic face, Julie now gently shook Natalie awake. "Mom, we're home."

Natalie stirred and gave a benevolent smile, "Thanks, angel. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Julie glumly exited the car, her stomach in knots_. If only I had fought back when Roberts kidnapped me, if I had incapacitated him when I had the chance, none of this would have happened._

"Julie, you coming?" Natalie stood holding the back door open.

Shaking off her thoughts, Julie followed Natalie into the house. They were both surprised to find Bobby cleaning the downstairs, "Badly, but I'm trying," he conceded. After coaxing Natalie to her bedroom, Julie returned to the living room and relieved Bobby of his duster and vacuum. _She_ would make everything perfect for Adrian's eventual return home. It was the least she could do.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

An hour after beginning her watch over Adrian, Peggy shifted in the chair and quietly murmured "Ouch." At first a light touch, Adrian was now clutching her hand with surprising strength. Although in distress, Peggy was reluctant to pull away. By the calm expression on his face, she sensed Adrian was taking some comfort from her contact. Instead she lightly patted his arm with her free hand and suggested, "Adrian? How about loosening your grip, my hand _is killing me."_

To Peggy's surprise, Adrian flinched and released his handhold. He groaned quietly and his eyes flutter open, blankly searching the room. When his unfocused gaze found Peggy, a spark of recognition fired in his eye. His voice cracked, "Peg-gy?"

Peggy beamed, thrilled to hear Adrian's shaky voice. She rose from her chair and gently smoothed the collar of his hospital gown before meeting his questioning gaze. "That's right- how are you feeling, Adrian?" She watched as his eyes shifted away, a dullness clouding them.

The pulse-monitoring machine beeped and Peggy looked over. She noticed the number quickly beginning to rise.

A frightened look jolted across Adrian's face and he struggled to sit up, "Nat-Natalie? Where's Natalie?"

Peggy immediately held Adrian back, placing her hand on his chest. "Ssh, relax. Natalie is fine. I sent her home to get some sleep. She-"

Adrian continued to flail, his agitation rising, "No! Roberts has her-"

"Calm down, Adrian!" Peggy attempted to hold him still while simultaneously raising the head of the hospital bed so he would have something to rest against. "Natalie's fine and Roberts is dead! Don't you remember?"

Adrian numbly shook his head and fell back against the bed, the strength suddenly gone from his body. But by the grimace on his face, Peggy could tell the horrific images of the previous night were randomly replaying in his mind. After several moments of silence, he unsteadily uttered, "Natalie is okay? What about Julie? I, I saw Julie-"

"Julie's fine too, we're all okay." Peggy touched his arm and was startled when he flinched away. Seeing the tears welling in his eyes, Peggy softly added, "Everyone is safe, Adrian."

Peggy stood helpless as Adrian averted his gaze and pulled his left arm tightly across his chest. His breathing became ragged and shallow and Peggy noticed his lip quiver with every gasp. She was confused by his reaction, "Adrian, did you hear me? I said everyone is _safe."_

He brought his hand to the side of his face, too late to stop a teardrop from landing on his chest.

"Adrian, what's the matter?"

Adrian shook his head, shielding his eyes from Peggy's scrutiny. He exhaled loudly and clumsily shifted his body away from Peggy. Frustration permeated the air.

"Everyone is safe," she reassured softly.

"No thanks to me," Adrian snarled, disgust in his voice.

"Adrian, what are you talking about?We_ do _thank you_- You_ immediately came to rescue us when Roberts called! _You_ made sure Natalie took your handcuff key- even after you were drugged!_ You_ were the one who told us Julie was still alive!" Peggy lightly touched his elbow, only to have him flinch away. "Adrian, it's alright."

Barely audible, he insisted, "No, it's my fault Roberts- and I couldn't pr-" a sob shook his body and he angrily wiped his face, "protect Nat or-" his voice dissolved into a series of quivering breaths.

Unable to reassure or console him with words, Peggy remained by his bedside, mutely standing guard with her hands clenched together. She was unwilling to leave him alone, but she felt like an intruder. His tears and naked display of emotions had created an intimacy neither she nor Adrian had expected, or wanted. She knew he was ashamed by his outburst, of showing weakness, and was blaming himself for things that were beyond his control. In short, Peggy realized all her misgivings about Adrian were wrong; he _was_ a normal man. Peggy unobtrusively handed Adrian some tissues when he finally appeared to calm, "Can I get you anything, honey?"

Crushing the tissues in his hand, he twitched his head 'no'. He turned his face away and closed his eyes. After several uncomfortable minutes of silence, he was once again sound asleep.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

Peggy once again sat quietly at Adrian's bedside and watched him sleep. But this time she refrained from holding his hand. She was afraid her touch might spark something in Adrian's unconscious and cause him nightmares. Instead, she wallowed in a sea of remorse, sorry she had ever doubted his devotion for Natalie and Julie.

Watching his chest rise with every breath, Peggy was lulled into a trance. She jumped suddenly when she heard footsteps behind her.

"I'm sorry I startled you, Ma'am," The nurse offered as she placed a tray of bandages at Adrian's bedside. "But I'm glad you're awake, I need to change Mr. Monk's bandages so I'll need you to leave for several minutes."

Peggy rose from her chair but didn't move. She had promised Natalie she wouldn't leave Adrian and, more surprisingly to Peggy, she felt a sudden motherly protectiveness towards Adrian. "I'd rather stay and see what needs to be done."

The nurse grabbed hold of the privacy curtain and started to pull it closed, "Are you his mother?"

"Mother-in –law," Peggy immediately answered; _without 'the law',_ she thought flippantly.

The nurse hesitated and Peggy continued, "If my daughter needs help with dressing his wounds, I'll know what to do, right?"

"Where is your daughter, his wife?" the nurse finished pulling the curtain closed.

"At home, getting some much needed rest. She'll be back shortly." Peggy eyed the tray of bandages and salves, determined that she would assist Natalie if needed. "Can you show me what to do?"

"Yes, but I hope you're prepared for what you're about to see." The nurse reached along the collar of Adrian's hospital gown, loosened the ties and gently pulled the fabric exposing Adrian's chest.

"Oh God," Peggy whispered. She watched the nurse remove the bandage from his gunshot wound. Her eyes traveled in horror from the bullet wound to the purple bruises, from the lacerations and welts to the cigarette burns. Peggy grimly watched the nurse apply the salves and bandages to his chest. She was thankful for the copious amounts of painkillers that still snaked through the intravenous line; Adrian remained asleep through the procedure.

Peggy then began to cry when the nurse pulled Adrian over onto his side and repeated the entire process on his back. She hadn't realized he had suffered so much.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

"Mom, we're back." Natalie lightly tapped on the doorframe as she, closely trailed by Julie, entered the room. She was carrying a large duffle bag, filled with Adrian's clothes and personal supplies and started to walk to the closet in the room. Julie quietly approached the foot of the bed.

"Thank goodness you're back," Peggy stood to greet them, her face stiff, her hands clasped together.

Seeing Peggy's expression, Natalie dropped the bag and immediately rushing to Adrian's side. She touched his sleeping face and glanced to Peggy, "What happened?"

"Let's take a walk, Natalie, there's something you need to know. Julie can stay with Adrian."

After Natalie and Peggy departed, Julie picked up the bag and put it in the closet. She then went to Adrian's bedside. She hesitantly touched Adrian's hand and searched his face, "_Hey Dad_." Tears slid down her cheeks when he turned toward her and sleepily murmured her name.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

Checking the caller ID, Dr. Bell anxiously answered his cell phone. After hearing the news about what had happened because of Ralph Roberts, Neven was seriously concerned about Adrian and Natalie. He had already decided to go to the hospital and now, with Natalie calling, this very moment seemed to be the perfect time.

"Natalie, I'm so glad to hear from you. I was just on my way to the hospital. How are things?"

In a rush, she shared everything that had happened in the past two days. She also detailed what Ambrose had told her the previous day and then recounted Peggy's story of Adrian's emotional outburst. "I don't know what to think, Dr. Bell. I guess I foolishly thought everything would return to normal."

"You're not foolish, Natalie; don't berate yourself. First I want to thank you for telling me both Peggy's and Ambrose's stories, we'll discuss them further when I get there. Natalie, you need to keep several things in mind regarding Adrian, you _and_ your family. Just because your kidnapper is dead and you're all safe, that doesn't mean the trauma is over. Far from it. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD for short, is not a condition just afflicting battle-scarred soldiers. Any overwhelming life experience can trigger PTSD - kidnapping, violent assault, physical abuse. An extremely traumatic experience touched your whole family and I would like to counsel you as a group, and also have separate sessions with you and Adrian."

"I, I'm embarrassed to say but, with my parents' legal troubles, I don't know how we'd pay for all this therapy-"

"Don't worry about that, Natalie. Let's just concentrate on everyone's emotional needs and psychological health, okay?" Natalie gulped a small sound which Dr. Bell took as a 'yes'.

Locking his front door, Neven headed for his car, "Back to Adrian- from what you've told me about how he reacted with Peggy, it sounds as though he's experiencing a classic case of PTSD: The mood swings, the anger, the shame, agitation and guilt. The first thing you need to do is reassure him that, no matter what, he's not to blame for what happened. Do you understand, Natalie?"

"I don't understand why he would blame himself." Natalie stood in the hallway, her back to Adrian's room. "_We _certainly don't blame him."

"We'll get to the reasons later, I promise. But for right now, you just need to do something called Cognitive Restructuring. Adrian needs to be convinced to look only at the evidence, the facts of what happened; tap into his 'policeman's nature.' By logically processing the trauma, his shame and guilt should lessen. Just emphasize the facts; Roberts was bad and crazy to kidnap you and Adrian was good and brave, willing to do anything to rescue you. Got it?"

"I think I understand, thanks. Anything else?"

Dr. Bell held the cell phone against his shoulder and unlocked his car, "Just be patient, Natalie. Not only with him, but with yourself as well. I'll be there within a half hour."

"Thank you. I'll see you soon." Natalie closed her phone and returned to Adrian's bedside, awaiting Dr. Bell's arrival.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

Neven disconnected the call and climbed into his car. He suddenly viewed his suspension from seeing patients a blessing, not a curse. Counseling Adrian, Natalie and family would be, unofficially of course, a full time job.

* * *

Natalie heard the light knock on the door and turned, motioning the latest visitor into the room. She whispered, "Come on in, he's asleep."

Dr. Bell hesitated in the doorway, studying Natalie as she rose from the chair. He winced at the bruise on her face and unintentionally touched his own cheek, "Hello Natalie. How are you?"

"Not so bad, I think. Thanks for coming to see Adrian." She forced a smile.

Dr. Bell's eyes immediately scrutinized Adrian and he shuddered. Neven hadn't imagined the extent of Adrian's injuries. After his loud gasp, he steadied himself. "I'm sorry for the reaction, Natalie I hadn't expected, you know." Neven clasped his hands together, "Would it be alright if we talked out in the hallway? I don't' want to disturb his sleep."

"Sure. Right outside the doorway, though, so I can keep an eye on him." Natalie motioned for Dr. Bell to go and she lightly stroked Adrian's face, "Don't worry, I'm not going far."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

"So how's the family, Natalie?" Dr. Bell stood next to Adrian's door, making it easy for Natalie to keep tabs on Adrian.

Natalie sighed and shook her head, "Not good. Julie's too quiet, she seems numb. My dad is so upset he couldn't even visit Adrian today, and my mom feels incredibly guilty."

"I know the situation seems dire, but, you'll see, therapy will help immensely. I'll go straight to your house when I leave here, alright?"

"Yes, thanks," Natalie answered quietly, tears welling in her eyes.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Neven touched her arm reassuringly. "What about you? How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine, I'm just worried about everyone else."

"Natalie, since you're acting as _the_ caretaker for the entire family, I know you're under a lot of stress. But you're not alone in this; you should depend on your parents and don't forget I'm here for you."

Pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes, Natalie gulped. She cast a look at Adrian and stammered, "Thank you, Dr. Bell, umh, but, right now, there was something important I need to tell you. I, ah, it's something I just remembered, but-" Natalie grimaced, "I'm sure Adrian remembers because, you know, he remembers _everything_."

"I know he does. Let's hear it Natalie, I'm listening." Neven prodded, his face neutral.

"We don't blame Adrian for what happened. - _But _when Roberts had us up at the cabin, he told us Julie was dead and that it was _Adrian's fault_. My mother believed Roberts, well, we all believed Julie was dead until Adrian said otherwise. Anyway, my mother was _very_ vocal about condemning Adrian- Mom even said Adrian deserved to suffer at Roberts' hand. I know Adrian heard my mother's outburst. She's extremely remorseful and regrets what she said, but hasn't had a chance to apologize to Adrian."

"So Adrian still thinks Peggy blames him?"

Natalie wrung her hands and nodded her head.

Dr. Bell tilted his head thoughtfully, "That _will_ complicate things. But it's not a complete setback. Peggy can still apologize to Adrian and he will eventually understand her feelings were inspired because of Roberts. - Adrian is amazingly resilient, don't underestimate his ability to forgive or heal."

Seeing Adrian stir, Natalie gave Neven a small, hopeful smile. "He's waking up- work your magic, Doc."

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

"So how _do_ you feel, Adrian?" Dr. Bell settled into the chair at Adrian's bedside. He glanced to Natalie, who was standing near the head of the bed, before continuing, "The last few days have been very trying, haven't they?"

Adrian stared blankly ahead and remained silent.

"Adrian? How do you feel?" Neven repeated with a demanding tone in his voice.

"Can't this wait until I get out of the hospital, Dr. Bell?" Adrian gave a weary look, his head lolling on his pillow. Although Adrian appreciated Neven's visit, he wasn't in the mood to rehash the last few days or dissect his feelings.

Neven smiled and knit his hands together, "Yes, of course. I just wanted to check up on you. How are you? Physically, I mean. I've never been shot, but, in college, I did fracture my scapula playing baseball and-"

"And is there a point to your story?" Adrian gruffly interrupted, not in the mood for one of Dr. Bell's long winded stories. He was worn out from the long stream of visitors- Peggy, Julie, Leland, TK, Ambrose with Joe Christie, Harold Krenshaw, numerous detectives from the precinct- and they all asked him how he was feeling. _He felt like hell_. For some inexplicable reason, Adrian felt aggravated ever since Peggy's visit earlier in the day. He didn't quite remember what had happened; he just had an unfocused anger that was on the verge of erupting.

Neven shifted in his chair, "The point? Oh, yes-the point is- you've suffered both an emotional and physical trauma. I'm afraid you're going to find, due to your injuries, the simplest things frustrating. For a while, things will be difficult for you,_ and_ for your family, Adrian."

Natalie lightly rubbed Adrian's bicep, "Doctor Bell recognized that we've all been through a traumatic event and he's volunteered to help us. With therapy for the whole family."

Neven continued, "When I leave here, I'm going to talk with Bobby, Peggy and Julie. I want to get their therapy started as soon as possible. When you get home, you, Natalie and I will join them for group therapy and also, you and Natalie will have private sessions."

Adrian lifted his gaze to Natalie, a wave of sadness choking him. "Oh God, this is, is my fault."

"No, it's not!" Natalie glanced at Dr. Bell. "This is all that Ralph Roberts' fault. He's to blame for everything! He had a perverse, gruesome plan and you, Adrian Monk, saved us from him! You thought only of our safety and did whatever you had to to protect us!"

Adrian lowered his eyes and the color drained from his face, "No, I brought him into your lives. If only I hadn't arrested him-"

Natalie interrupted, "He would have been hurting other people! Maybe not physically, but emotionally and psychologically. Adrian, Roberts was a criminal and deserved to go to prison. - I thank God you make sure bad guys are brought to justice!"

Dr. Bell interjected, "Adrian, it's not your fault how a criminal reacts to being punished- you have no control over their corrupted minds or inexcusable actions." After a pause, he continued, "Hypothetically, do you think a crime should be ignored because of how the criminal might retaliate?"

Adrian twitched his head, "N- no, but if I hadn't arrested Roberts-"

"Then he would have been free; no one else would have caught onto his crimes. And he rightfully deserved to be arrested, right?"

Adrian reluctantly nodded his head, "But-"

"But nothing!" Natalie shared a confident look with Dr. Bell, "Considering it logically, the blame for Roberts' actions lay with Roberts alone; end of story. You _have_ to agree, Adrian. You're _not _responsible for what happened."

A small weight shifted off his shoulders and he grudgingly muttered, "Maybe." Adrian closed his eyes to consider Natalie's reasoning. The last thing he remembered before drifting off to sleep was the feel of Natalie's hand resting protectively on his shoulder.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the length of this chapter but ya'll know how verbose Dr. Bell can be!-LOL, '_words, words, words, how does that make you feel?_'


	18. 18 Almost Home

Chapter 18 Almost Home

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: We're still at the hospital, but Adrian's a lot more active today! LOL ;)

Thanks for the reviews and PM's!

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. Monk! My name is Stacy and I'm your physical therapist. It's time to get up and get moving!" An energetic young woman bounded into the room, interrupting the comfortable silence that enveloped Adrian and Natalie.

"Yippee," Adrian sighed as Natalie rose and greeted the woman. Adrian's doctor had ordered two days of complete bed rest and today was his third day in the hospital. To his dismay, it was time to brave the pain and get on his feet again.

"Hold on Adrian, I brought some clothes from home." Natalie crossed to the closet, retrieved a robe, sweatpants and boxers and discreetly laid them at the foot of the bed. Adrian was especially relieved to see the boxers. Now he didn't have to be naked under the hospital gown. It wasn't full coverage, but it was something to be thankful for.

"Thanks," Adrian muttered, self-consciously glancing at the therapist. Being clad in only a hospital gown, Adrian clutched the blanket across his lap. He was grateful Natalie had brought him clothes from home, but he now had the challenge of getting into them. While Adrian expected it would be agony to get out of bed, his main worry was not his pain; rather it was _how_ to get dressed and hold onto his last shred of dignity.

It was only nine in the morning, but Adrian had already suffered enough indignities to last a lifetime. Between the incivility of brushing his teeth and spitting into a portable basin while sitting in bed, letting Natalie shave his face, having his IVs disconnected and, the ultimate of humiliation, the removal of the catheter, he was profoundly mortified. And now some strange woman wanted to manipulate his half naked body out of bed? He just couldn't do it. Adrian longingly eyed the clothes, "Natalie?"

"Yes, Adrian?" Natalie stepped closer to the bed and leaned down, barely able to hear his subdued voice.

Adrian concentrated on Natalie, trying to ignore the other woman standing in the room. "Nat, do I have to, you know, get up in front of_ her_? I need to, ah, _get dressed_ first."

Natalie looked from Adrian's drained face to the therapist, "Stacy? Is there any way you could just _tell_ me how to get him out of bed and give us some privacy? I know that's not how it's normally done but-" Natalie lightly rubbed Adrian's arm, "We're a little modest."

The therapist hesitated, "I'm really supposed to _show_ you how to help Mr. Monk up-" she glanced from Adrian's averted face to Natalie's pleading eyes, "But, I was told Mr. Monk has an aversion to being touched. I can tell you the steps and then stand outside the curtain in case you need any help."

After receiving the instructions, Natalie positioned herself in front of Adrian. She waited until the therapist stepped outside and closed the privacy curtain. "I'm ready when you are, Adrian. Let's get you out of bed." Natalie drew back the blanket and, in the slowest, gentlest way possible, she took hold of his legs and turned them toward the side of the bed. He winced and moaned during the whole procedure but also reassured Natalie, "I'm okay, you're not hurting me. Keep going."

After he was on his feet, Natalie pulled the hospital bed's safety railing up and had him grip the bar with his left hand, "Hold on and I'll have you dressed in a jiffy, okay?"

"Hurry up, Natalie. I'm feeling a little, ah, _exposed_." Leaning against the bed's safety railing, Adrian shifted his immobilized arm and groaned. The next minute was an awkward mix of fumbling movements, muttered oaths, exposed skin and twisted clothing. When Natalie finally draped his robe over his hospital gown and helped him into a pair of slippers, Adrian was spent. "I'm already tired, Nat. Do I really have to go to physical therapy?"

"Sorry, you need PT. You're being released in a few days and we need to get you strong!" Natalie winked and lightly squeezed his bicep. She turned her head and called, "Stacy, come on in, we're ready to get started!"

Trudging to the physical therapy room between Natalie and Stacy, Adrian considered Natalie's 'get strong' comment and sardonically thought, _Good luck with that._

_

* * *

_

Dr. Bell opened his notepad and settled onto the chair facing Bobby, Peggy and Julie. Since they went to the hospital in shifts, Neven was pleased they all attended these early morning sessions at Natalie's home. He had been conducting group sessions with the family the last three days and was satisfied with the progress so far: Julie had stopped blaming herself for being kidnapped. Bobby had confessed to his feeling of shame over not defending his family against Roberts as well as unjustly blaming Adrian for what happened. Lastly, Peggy admitted her immense regret over believing Roberts and turning against Adrian.

Neven considered the three faces before him, knowing the dynamics of the therapy would drastically change when Adrian was home and he and Natalie joined the group. Anger, shame, despondency and rage- Adrian's extreme mood swings would definitely unnerve the Davenports and Julie. Today Neven planned on preparing them for what to expect and how to react. By all indications, Adrian's homecoming would not be easy.

* * *

The physical therapy room was fairly quiet and Adrian quickly surveyed his surroundings. There were only two other patients in the large, open room and various pieces of equipment and PT and massage tables scattered about. Natalie took his left arm and they followed the therapist across the room to a doublewide therapy table. The table was lower than Adrian expected, only about two feet off the ground. Adrian shuddered, immediately wondering how many germs were on it.

Without being asked, the physical therapist grabbed a bottle of cleaner from a cabinet and wiped down the vinyl table. Natalie helped Adrian take his robe off, secured the back of the hospital gown closed, and smiled, "You ready?" She hunched down, looped his left arm over her shoulder, and helped him sit down ever so carefully.

Adrian settled on the low table and looked nervously from Natalie to Stacy, "You're not going to, ah, I mean, you're going to show_ Natalie_ what to do, right?"

The physical therapist gave a reassuring smile, "Yes, so relax, Mr. Monk. We're just going to do some range of motion exercises. I'm going to guide Natalie on various techniques and coach her on what we're trying to achieve with each movement. I won't lie and say it'll be easy, because it won't. But we'll try and make this as pain-free as possible, okay?" She knelt on the table beside Adrian on his left side and motioned for Natalie to kneel next to her. After showing Natalie how to remove the sling from Adrian's right arm, Stacy addressed Adrian, "Mr. Monk, you need to be flat on your back for these range of motion exercises. Did you want help getting into position or do you think you can do it yourself?"

Adrian glanced from the therapist to Natalie, "I can do it, but maybe Nat could, you know, act as backup?"

Natalie smiled warmly, "Backup? You mean a spotter? I'd love to."

To give Adrian room to move, Stacy rose from the table, "Okay Mr. Monk, if you can, pivot onto your left hip and lower yourself onto your left side before laying flat. Natalie, position yourself behind him on the table and, if needed, support his neck and head and help guide him down." Natalie immediately moved into position.

Adrian shifted to his left side, ignoring the throbbing pain in his right shoulder. Inching down, he planted his left elbow on the table. He shifted his left shoulder blade onto the table and allowed his body to roll flat. He winced and looked up; he focused his eyes on Natalie's face and was delighted when she met his gaze with a smile. She lightly stroked his face and Adrian suddenly found it hard to breathe; an unexpected warmth flooded his chest. He wanted to tell Natalie he loved her, that she was his strength to get through this. But Adrian was mindful that they were in public so instead he closed his eyes, not wanting to risk an emotional outburst.

The physical therapist softly clapped her hands together, "Vey good Mr. Monk. Now, let's get started with some stretching. - Natalie, since Mr. Monk's right shoulder suffered traumatic injury, it's a bit too early to have him do this exercise with his right arm. We should give it a few more days to heal before starting, alright? But his left arm wasn't injured as seriously, we can begin there. We're going to stretch his left arm out from his side and then eventually over his head. It will hurt him a bit, but we need to get him moving, okay?" Stacy demonstrated with her own arm, pointing out to Natalie how to rotate the arm as it changed positions.

Natalie carefully repositioned herself along Adrian's left side, "Ready?"

Eyes still closed, Adrian noticed how warm Natalie's body was as she rested against him. His thoughts automatically shifted to all the recent times Natalie had been pressed against him, the heat of her body- His heart skipped a beat.

"Adrian, are you ready?" Natalie repeated softly.

Adrian opened his eyes and was struck speechless by Natalie's gaze; love, devotion, tenderness and concern all shimmered in her blue eyes. Overwhelmed by her unconstrained show of emotions, he gulped loudly and nodded his surrender. He would do whatever she wanted.

Natalie took hold of his left wrist and started to move his arm. Adrian watched as she dropped her gaze to study what she was doing. Her eyes narrowed and, ever so slightly, she opened her mouth and bit her bottom lip. He felt a sharp sting as his arm moved out along his side but he ignored it, keeping his eyes riveted on Natalie. She was now the only thing on Adrian's mind.

Natalie stretched her body forward, slowly guiding his arm with intense concentration. Adrian's breathing became shallow as she leaned closer. He adored the expression on her face, marveled at the graceful line of her neck, noticed the slight gap of her shirt collar, her– Adrian quietly gasped, "Natalie!"

"Oh my God, did I hurt you?" Natalie released her hold of his wrist and lightly touched his chest.

"No!" he struggled to sit up, "No, I just need to, to-" Flustered, he grabbed onto Natalie's hand and winced as he pulled himself upright. He rested his forearms across his knees, shifted his uninjured shoulder and looked to the floor.

"Adrian, what's the matter?" Natalie worried.

"Mr. Monk, are you alright?" Stacy dropped to her knee in front of Adrian and tried to make eye contact.

"Go Away!" Adrian barked and averted his eyes, "I'm all right!"

The physical therapist stood, unsure if she should leave, "I'll go get a nurse."

"No!" Adrian pleaded, his voice lowered, "Just, give, me, a minute, please."

Natalie lightly touched his knee, only to have him flinch away. She glanced at the therapist, "Stacy, could we have a few minute alone? I'll yell if we need help." Natalie waited until the therapist crossed the room before placing her hand gently on his lower back, "Did I hurt you, Adrian?"

He shook his head and kept his gaze lowered.

"Are you sure?" Natalie's voice was full of worry.

Adrian glanced at Natalie's stricken expression. He knew he had to reassure her that she hadn't hurt him. He grunted, "I'm fine."

"Then what's the matter? You have to tell me." Her worry turned to pleading.

Reluctantly, he cleared his throat, "Nat, I, umh, when you, you know, and then I, ah, well, _you know_."

Natalie looked confused, "I have no idea what you're saying, Adrian. Can you try again?"

Adrian groaned; why was she making him _say it_? He turned to Natalie and brought his hand to his brow, shielding his face from the others in the room. He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Nat, when you were, just now I mean, moving my arm, leaning against me, I, ah, remembered the other night when we were, you know, _alone_ _together."_

A look of understanding slowly crept across Natalie's face and she unexpectedly chuckled, "Wait, you mean you _reacted_ to me? Oh my God!"

Adrian growled, "It's not funny, Natalie!"

"No, I know it's _not_ funny and I wasn't laughing at you. I'm just surprised- actually I'm flattered! This is great-"

"Great?" Adrian felt a swell of fury and couldn't stop himself from lashing out at Natalie. "What the hell is wrong with you? Roberts didn't humiliate me enough?" He watched her eyes fill with tears and immediately regretted his words. "Nat- Natalie, I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm saying. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Natalie wiped her eyes, "It's alright. You've been through a lot." She held her hand out and Adrian took hold, "_We'v_e been through a lot. But we'll get through it, _together_, right?"

"Right," Adrian whispered_. _

"We'll talk about this later, okay?" Natalie squeezed his hand slightly.

Adrian shifted his uninjured shoulder and said nothing.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~~

After being shown several more exercises and stretches, the physical therapy session was thankfully over. During the walk back to Adrian's room, Natalie and Adrian were both lost deep in thought and didn't speak. They turned the final corner and found Dr. Bell waiting in the hallway outside the room. After a quick greeting, Dr. Bell remained out in the hall while Natalie helped Adrian get back in his bed. By the time Natalie invited Neven in, Adrian had closed his eyes and was on his way to falling asleep.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

"Dr. Bell, your timing is impeccable." Natalie whispered as she motioned for Neven to grab a chair and join her next to Adrian. She took Adrian's hand and sighed, "We just had our first PT session and things didn't exactly go smoothly."

Neven stood behind his chair, "Did you want to go out into the hallway to discuss it?"

"No, I don't want to leave Adrian. He's had an exhausting day and I don't think our talking will disturb him. Please, sit down."

"Exhausted really? It's barely eleven in the morning." Neven sat and looked at Adrian; he was sound asleep. "Okay Natalie, tell me what happened. You said things didn't go well?"

Natalie hesitated, not sure how specific she should be, "Things were fine, then something happened during the session and, before I knew it, Adrian was infuriated."

"Natalie, I'm confused. You'll need to be more explicit. Remember, I'm here to help both you and Adrian." He watched her balk and added, "I can't help if I don't know the problem so you need to be forthright with me, Natalie. I'm your psychiatrist and whatever you tell me will stay between you, Adrian and myself."

"Okay, I just feel like I'm violating Adrian's privacy by giving you details."

"You're not, Natalie. Adrian agreed to be in therapy sessions _with you_- there are no secrets. Whatever you tell me will _help_ Adrian."

Natalie took a deep breath, "Okay. Adrian had PT this morning and, since he can't bare the thought of strangers touching him, the therapist agreed to verbally guide me through the exercises. While I was helping him stretch, he sort of, ah, _reacted_to my touch." Natalie raised an eyebrow, hoping Neven caught her drift.

"_Reacted_?" He paused, blinked several times and then it dawned on him, "Oh! Is that all? That's perfectly natural-"

"Wait, there's more. He was embarrassed and I unintentionally laughed and said it was great, that I was flattered. Adrian became enraged and said, quote, 'Didn't Ralph Roberts humiliate me enough?'"

"Oh, I see," Dr. Bell silently stared at Adrian for a moment before addressing Natalie. "Well, his mood swing is a classic symptom of PTSD, don't take it personally. I don't want to minimize his outbursts, but we need to understand what causes them. Let's consider what precipitated this one. - I think we both appreciate what a private man Adrian is. Of course an unexpected, public display of his, his_ interest_ in you would be disconcerting. However Adrian needs to realize that, because of his injuries, you will be giving him a lot more physical attention and it_ is_ only natural he'd respond to you. He'll be embarrassed but I'll talk to him about this when he wakes."

"So even though he's in pain, it's normal?"

"Natalie, the human mind is a remarkable machine; it can take one thought or physical sensation and go off on a tangent, ignoring pain or other senses. Actually, Adrian's ability to focus so intently on one thing and block out everything else around him is one of his greatest assets."

"You mean his _gift_?" Natalie snickered.

"Exactly! But to get back to his reaction to you. I hadn't intended on addressing this topic yet, but considering what happened, we may as well tackle it now. Natalie, during our sessions, Adrian has only told me of his emotional commitment to you and has not, as of yet, talked about your physical relationship. However, by observing his non-verbal cues coupled with the fact that he just moved in with you, I surmise you two are intimate. It that correct?" Dr. Bell waited for Natalie's nod of confirmation before continuing. "Natalie, please excuse this direct question, but how is your sex life? Is it open and trusting, without reservations or is it tentative and retrained? "

Natalie sheepishly grinned, "We've been working on his shyness, but we trust each other completely. Why do you ask?"

"Because Adrian needs reassurance from you. Right now he's feeling fragile both emotionally and physically. He'll look to you for solace, but, paradoxically, he may not be able to articulate his thoughts or feelings. Adrian may instinctively seek a physical release instead."

"So you're saying Adrian might not be able to tell me about his emotions, but might seek comfort by wanting to, to, make love?" Natalie felt a blush come to her cheeks.

"At first, probably; it's a fairly common coping mechanism when people face overwhelming traumas. By making that physical connection, eventually he should be able to share his feelings with you. But Natalie, _you_ have to want to give him that comfort. If you're hesitant about_ being_ with Adrian, you shouldn't and, you need to be clear about why you're unwilling. If you engage in intimacy just to placate him, he'll sense it and it would be detrimental to you both."

"Why wouldn't I want to? I love him." Natalie cocked her head, puzzled by Bell's statement.

"Natalie, you suffered your own trauma at the hands of Ralph Roberts and we need to talk about you. What is _your_ emotional state?"

"_Nothing_ happened to me, Dr. Bell. Roberts hit me a few times, but that was it."

"But didn't Ralph Roberts also attempt to assault you? Sexually, I mean."

"Attempt is right; he didn't though." Natalie shook her head in disgust.

"Natalie, even an attempted rape can cause emotional scars, nightmares, conflicted feelings, and a whole host of difficulties."

"Dr. Bell, I volunteered at a crisis center when I was in college, so I know sexual assault is _not_ about sex; it's about power, control and rage. Roberts beat me up and ripped my blouse, nothing more. I hate what Roberts did to me, but I hate what he did to Adrian even more. What Roberts did does not affect how I feel about Adrian, or what I want to share with Adrian."

"I'm glad you've considered everything so logically, but you may feel differently in the future. Natalie, you can talk with me about this at any time, alright?"

"Yes, thank you. But it really won't be necessary."

"Any time, Natalie. I mean it." Neven pressed.

"Fine, thank you." Natalie flashed a small smile and suppressed an eye-roll, "I will ask for help_ if_ I need it, Dr. Bell. But back to Adrian- what about his comment about being humiliated by Roberts?"

"It all centers on Adrian feeling powerless and out of control. But let's talk about this with Adrian when he gets home. A safe, familiar environment should help him open up. - When is he being released?"

"In two days," Natalie yawned, "We'll be home in two days."

* * *

Julie yelled down the stairway, "Hold on, I'll be down in a minute!" It was time to go to the hospital, but she was intent on finding something first. She hurried to her closet and pulled out an old shoe box filled with letters and photographs.

During that morning's therapy session, Dr. Bell spoke specifically about PTSD. He mentioned that, even though the entire family had been traumatized, Adrian was having an especially tough time. Bell warned them how unpredictable Adrian might be emotionally; he might be angry or sad, irritable or numb, fearful or ashamed. The smallest thing might set Adrian off and Bell reminded them that Adrian would never lash out at them intentionally. They were going to have to be patient with his mood swings.

But the thing which impressed Julie most was Bell's final comment. Bell reminded them that bravery is not being unafraid, but rather, doing something despite your fears. Julie and her grandparents all agreed that Adrian had acted courageously when he faced Ralph Roberts, and they needed to reassure him of that.

"Ha, there you are!" Finally finding the picture that showed Adrian receiving his 'medal of valor' for solving the astronaut case, Julie closed the box and ran downstairs. She placed the picture in the middle of the mantle, positive Adrian would notice it when he returning home. Julie hurried to the kitchen and was surprised to see both Bobby and Peggy ready to go to the hospital.

"Grandpa, are you coming too?" Julie looked at Bobby with surprise.

Bobby opened the kitchen door and forced a smile, "I need to have a few words with Adrian. Today."

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~~

"Bobby, come here. He's waking up" Peggy's voice crept into Adrian's dream, her words clear but meaningless.

After a restless sleep filled with shadowy images, Adrian slowly opened his eyes. Sweeping his gaze from Peggy to Julie to Bobby, Adrian stared numbly, wondering if he was still caught in a dream. He felt Natalie's hand on his shoulder and realized he was awake and his visitors were real. Adrian was a bit puzzled though; Julie and Peggy usually took turns visiting and, this was the first time Adrian remembered seeing Bobby in the hospital. He looked up at Natalie, his voice groggy, "What's going on?"

"My folks and Julie had a very productive therapy session with Dr. Bell this morning and they all decided they needed to share some of their insights.- Do you feel up to having a family meeting now, or do you want to rest some more?"

Adrian rubbed his eyes, "No, I'm awake. Nat, could you raise the bed though?"

Natalie pressed the button on the remote, raising Adrian into an upright, seated position. "Is that too far up?"

He shook his head, "It's fine," and clutched the blanket across his lap. A sinking feeling gripped Adrian after spying Bobby's disconcerted expression. He reached for Natalie's hand, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing's wrong." Natalie smiled at Adrian then looked to her father, "Dad, you said you wanted to go first?"

Bobby sheepishly met Adrian's eyes and cleared his throat. "Adrian, I first need to apologize for not coming to visit sooner. I finally understand _why_ I was so reluctant to visit. I was ashamed to face you. By seeing you, I had to confess to my own cowardice-"

Adrian shifted in the bed, "Bobby, I-"

"No, don't interrupt Adrian, I need to say this. - There is no excuse for my not protecting my family from Roberts. I'm embarrassed that I did nothing. In today's session, I realized I allowed myself to blame you for Roberts' actions rather than admit my own shortcomings. Dr. Bell pointed out that I was blaming you for my failure. I'm sorry Adrian.- You confronted Roberts and sacrificed yourself in return for our safety. You're a braver man than I, and you're the best thing that's happened to my daughter." Bobby held out his left hand, "Adrian, I know you don't like to shake hands, but I would be honored if you made an exception for me."

Adrian, choked up by Bobby's comments, offered his hand, "Thank you Bobby, for your words and, for Natalie." He glanced at Natalie and smirked when she winked at him.

"Mom, you wanted to add something?" Natalie prompted, glancing at Peggy.

"I could easily repeat everything Bobby just said, Adrian. I'm sorry I blamed you. But I have to admit my thoughts were also vindictive. I was awful to you. Not only did I blame you for Julie's, you know, _death,_" Peggy choked up and tried to contain her emotions, but they came out in a sobbing fit. "But I wanted you punished. I had no right to blame you and I am so sorry. I'll never doubt you again." She turned and blew her nose. She wiped her tears, took a deep breath and turned back to Adrian, her back straight and her chin up. "Adrian, I _am_ happy you and Natalie are together, so-" Peggy stopped, glanced at Natalie, and then looked pointedly at Adrian, "When do you think you'll make it official?_"_

Adrian blinked several times before turning to Natalie. A look of bliss crossed his face and he shyly smiled, "Soon, I hope."

Tears welled in Natalie's eyes and an immense smile crossed her face. The silence in the room was louder than any need for spoken words.

* * *

A/N: Well, what'd ya' think? Let me know-press that little blue 'Review' button- I know you want to!~Thanks! ;)


	19. 19 Dreams

Chapter 19 Dreams

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Consider this a warning/alert for, well, everything! Angst, drama, and romance-it's all here, from this chapter forward. ;)

Please Read & Review!

Much thanks to ah & MW- love ya'll bunches!

* * *

Ready to go home, Leland was packing up his briefcase when the phone on his desk rang. Having planned on a romantic dinner with TK, he snatched the phone from its cradle and huffed, "Stottlemeyer here." Listening to the caller, his scowl gradually turned into smile, "Thanks for the info. You made my night, I owe you one." Holding the phone against his shoulder, Leland checked his watch, "I'll stop by his house and give him the good news. He'll be so relieved. Thanks again." The Captain hung the phone up and headed for the door; he wasn't the only one who was going to have a good night.

* * *

_God, I love them._ Adrian sleepily beamed as he watched Natalie and Julie in the doorway saying goodnight. This was his last night in the hospital and he was so looking forward to going home. _Home_. Natalie's house was his home; what an amazing thought. Despite his pain, Adrian felt complete contentment. He closed his eyes and waited for Natalie's return to his bedside.

"Adrian, are you asleep?" Natalie's voice was tender and melodious.

After a few moments of silence, she whisperer his name again, "Adrian?"

"Nat, I'm awake, I was waiting-" He struggled to open his eyes, "- for you. Natalie?" Adrian gazed at her; she was wearing his robe and had pulled the privacy curtain around the bed. The dimmed light highlighted the paleness of her skin against the dark robe. His eyes traveled from her radiant face, to her graceful neck, to the small, exposed 'v' at the top of her chest. Drawing in a deep breath, he looked back to her face and smiled, "What are you doing?"

"Since it's your last night here and the nurses aren't going to be coming in to check your vitals-" Natalie lowered the bed flat, "I thought maybe I could join you." She pulled back the blanket and sat on the edge of the bed, resting her hip against his.

Adrian was unsure but also intrigued. He scrunched over and rolled onto his left side, giving Natalie room. She swung her legs up and stretched out on the narrow bed. Pulling the blanket back over them, Natalie shifted closer and pressed up against him. Startled by her boldness, Adrian gasped, "Nat, we're in the hospital!"

"Yes, we're in the hospital, but-" She caressed his face and lightly kissed him, "The privacy curtain is drawn and the nurses' station is at the far end of the hall. We _won't_ be interrupted." She kissed him again, deeper this time, before falling back into the pillow, "Do you mind if I sleep with you?"

Adrian shuddered as he ran his hand slowly down her side, feeling her curves through the soft cotton, "Mind?" The painkillers clouded his reasoning, dulling his inhibitions. Returning her kiss, he impulsively grasped her hip and shifted closer. "I'd love if you slept with me."

Natalie chuckled and propped herself up by her elbow and continued to kiss him. Capturing his hand, she guided it over to the belt on the robe. Wrapping his fingers around the belt, she whispered into his ear, "One little tug, sexy-man, and I'm all yours."

"Nat, we can't-" Adrian groaned, not wanting to finish his sentence. No, he couldn't say _no _to her; the temptation was too great. The intense heat from Natalie's body made it impossible to think. He gazed into her eyes and couldn't breathe. Rational thought was fading fast. "Nat, we-"

"We need to be_ very_ quiet." Natalie kissed his neck and slipped her hand under the blanket. Pushing his hospital gown over his hip, she ran her hand lovingly over his bare skin."Can we be quiet?"

The temptation was too overwhelming. He tightened his grip on the robe's belt, pulled the knot free and huskily repeated, "We can be _very_ quiet." Sliding his hand inside the robe, he quietly moaned when his fingers touched her warm flesh, "Nat, you're_ naked_."

"Makes things easier, don't you think?" Natalie giggled and raised an eyebrow.

"God yes," Adrian kissed her lustfully. His hand moved further down her curves and firmly caressed her hip. "Nat, I love you."

"I love you too, Adrian." Natalie's lips grazed his ear, "This doesn't hurt, does it?"

Adrian moaned, "No, it's good. It's _so_ good."

"What's so good?" Natalie's voice was hushed. She touched his cheek, "Adrian?"

Feeling Natalie's hand caress his face, Adrian murmured, "You are, Natalie."

"Adrian, open your eyes. I think your having a dream."

The sensation of Natalie pressed up against his body suddenly dissipated when Adrian slowly opened his eyes. He was laying flat on his back in the middle of the bed. A wave of pain hit him as he tried to move his right arm. He glanced down; his arm was firmly secured by the sling. With his thoughts still jumbled and his body awash with conflicting sensations, he turned his face toward Natalie, "What, what's happened?"

Natalie was standing beside the bed, fully clothed, a smirk on her face. "You were dreaming and, by the sound of it-" Natalie traced her fingers along his exposed collarbone, "It sounded like it was really sexy."

Adrian blushed and his eyes darted around the room before looking at the ceiling. Immediately shifting in the bed, he crumpled the blanket across his lap with his left hand and returned her smirk, "It was."

Natalie leaned over him and kissed him lightly, "Care to tell me about it?"

He sheepishly grinned, "How about when we get home, I can, you know, _show you_?"

"Hmm, I'd like that. A lot. Meanwhile-" Natalie flicked her eyes to his hand still gripping the blanket before retuning his gaze, "Are you going to be able to get back to sleep? Can I do anything to help?"

Dumbfounded, Adrian stared at Natalie. Innuendos normally went over his head, but as images from his dream continued to swirl in his mind, this time he understood perfectly. His heart skipped a beat and his mouth dropped open. He eventually found his voice and stammered, "Nat, ah, Natalie!"

With a laugh, she touched his face, "Relax, I just thought I'd ask. I want to make sure you're comfortable."

He grumbled ruefully, "I'll be comfortable when we get home."

"Okay," Natalie lightly tussled his hair, "Speaking of home, you better get back to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a big day. You need your rest."

Adrian continued to gaze at Natalie and, for the first time, he noticed the dark circle under her eyes. He couldn't allow her to spend another night in a chair at his bedside. "Nat, can you pull up the safety railing on the right side of the bed and get a few of the spare pillows and place them against the railing?"

Natalie came around the bed and did as asked. "So why am I doing this?"

"Go back to the left side and I'll tell you."

As Natalie walked around the bed again, Adrian dug his left elbow into the mattress and pulled himself onto his left side. Wincing as he shifted his body to the far side on the bed, Adrian leaned back against the railing. Still propped up on his elbow, he patted the bed with his left hand, "You need your rest too. Why don't you join me?"

"Really? Aren't you in pain?"

"I'm fine," Sliding his left arm behind his head, he laid back into the pillows and let out a sigh of relief.

Natalie carefully crawled into bed, stretched out facing him and placed her hand lightly on his chest, "Are you sure this doesn't hurt?"

"No, it's good," Leaning toward her, Adrian silently endured a sharp pain and kissed her forehead, "It's always good when I'm with you."

* * *

As Dr. Bell had warned, Adrian's first day home from the hospital was filled with unpredictable mood swings, inappropriate reactions and intense flashes of emotion. Over the course of the day, Natalie comforted Adrian as he snapped from one emotion to another, outbursts quickly followed by regretful apologizes. His frustration level continued to rise, inflamed by his inability to complete the most basic, physical tasks.

Finally it was bedtime and Adrian reluctantly admitted to Natalie that he required help taking a shower. Even though she had safety grab bars installed on the wall behind the shower, Adrian needed assistance climbing into the claw-foot bathtub as well as bathing and dressing the wounds on his back. As expected, Adrian insisted on completing his other, more personal _obligations_ alone, clumsiness be damned. Now, with everyone else in the house asleep, Natalie silently paced outside the bathroom door. Knowing he was self-conscious about her standing guard, she refrained from offering help when she heard items clatter to the floor and muffled oaths of exasperation. Natalie was confident that he would call out if he truly needed assistance. Respecting his privacy, she waited for Adrian's permission to enter.

After an interminable amount of time passed, Natalie heard Adrian unlock the door. She knocked lightly, "Can I come in now?"

"Yes," came his muffled reply, gloom coloring his one word answer.

Anxious to begin helping him, Natalie cracked the door open, slipped inside, and locked the door behind her. Wearing just his robe, Adrian stood before her with a look of defeat across his face. His sling was lying on the counter beside the sink and his clothes were unceremoniously piled on the floor. Natalie quickly scooped his clothes up and loosely folded them before putting them in the hamper. She brought a smile to her lips, determined to cheer him up. "Okay, are we ready for a shower?"

Adrian brought his hand to his brow and nodded solemnly.

Natalie could see his embarrassment and knew he needed encouragement. She turned on the shower so the water would warm and took his hand, "Adrian, I want to thank you for letting me help you. I know you're uncomfortable, but I promise that will pass." When he raised his eyes and met her gaze, she slowly winked, "Besides, after you get used to this, I think you'll like it."

Adrian rolled his eyes, "Could we just get this over with?"

"Sure thing, just let me get things ready." Placing the first aid kit and some towels on the counter next to the shower, Natalie went to the clothes hamper and quickly stripped off her clothes.

"Nat, what are you doing?" Adrian was startled and tried to avert his eyes, but was unsuccessful.

"I can't help you if I'm _out here_," Natalie approached him and took hold of his robe's belt. After loosening the knot, she ran her hands lightly along the robe's lapels, "And besides, I thought this would make you feel more comfortable."

Adrian said nothing and cast his eyes to the floor.

Natalie lightly caressed his face before opening the shower curtain. "Let me help you -" Her words faded away as he took off the robe. She winced as she scanned his injured body; now in a rainbow of colors, the bruises appeared to migrate across his skin. Gently removing the bandages from his shoulder, she immediately decided to postpone any romantic advances until he was fully recovered. Right now, her primary concern was nursing him back to health. Natalie cleared her throat, "I'm ready when you are."

Leaving his robe on the counter, he grasped her shoulder and stepped into the soothing water. "Oh it's good to be home," he bowed his head and let the water cascaded over his shoulders.

Having stepped in behind him, Natalie picked up the soap and lathered it in her hands, "Let me know if this hurts, okay?"

Adrian sighed as her hands lightly glided across his back, soothing his aching muscles. "No, that's fine." Glancing over his shoulder, he shyly smiled, "Actually it's really nice; you were right. _Again_."

Natalie stood on her tiptoes and softly kissed him, "Good, you can thank me- l_ater_."

A glimmer in his tired eyes, Adrian chuckled, "I won't forget."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Bodies cleaned and dried, wounds sterilized and dressed, Adrian and Natalie took to their cozy bed. Natalie turned off the light, said goodnight and placed a chaste kiss on Adrian's lips; she then immediately rolled over and settled down to sleep. It happened so quick that Adrian was surprised; no, more than surprised, he was disheartened. Always enthusiastic about showing affection, why didn't Natalie want to engage in some type of romantic homecoming? Staring at the ceiling, Adrian's mind began to race: _With his bad mood swings, had he been cruel to her and hurt her feelings? Or did she think him weak, either physically or emotionally? Had, God forbid, Roberts harmed her and she was afraid of being touched? Or, deep down, did she blame him for what had happened?_

Listening to her rhythmic breathing, he could tell she was already in dreamland. No doubt exhausted from looking after him. Adrian desperately wanted to talk but, remembering the dark circles under her eyes, he wouldn't disturb her much needed rest. He would wait until tomorrow.

Adrian turned his face and looked at their family portrait on the nightstand, illuminated by the moonlight. Tears gathered in his eyes. He was so close to the one he loved, but never felt so alone.

~~~~MN~~~~~

Whatever way she turned, he was there behind her, his malevolent brown eyes burning into her flesh. She ran but he was a rabid animal, at her heels. With blood dripping from his hands, he continued to snarl, "Natalie, don't run off! We need to finish what we started!"

Natalie took a swing at him, but her hands were suddenly pinned to her body, his arms holding her tightly. Panic robbed her of her breath and injected her heart with adrenaline. She continued to struggle as she felt his hot breath against her neck. She managed to gasp, "Let me go!" But it was useless. She was ensnared in his arms.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Adrian moaned and his eyes slid open; a sharp pain in his side jarred him from his deep slumber. Blinking slowly, he turned his head and distractedly stared at the full moon hanging outside the window. Lulled by the pale blue light, he closed his eyes. Suddenly he felt the bed jostle and another blow struck him in his ribs. Adrian was now wide awake, his attention on Natalie. Next to him, she was thrashing wildly. Adrian clumsily sat up and luckily avoided any more of her punches. He unsnapped his sling and managed to release his immobilized arm. "Nat? Come here." He awkwardly took hold of her and, despite her squirming and his weakened state, he pulled her to his chest. Having her safely trapped in his arms, Adrian spoke soothingly, "Natalie, please stop. You're going to hurt yourself. Wake up, it's just a dream."

As Natalie calmed, Adrian loosened his grip. Stroking her back, he continued his hushed words, "That's right, it's okay. I have you, you're safe." When she took a deep breath and clutched at his shirt, he knew she was finally awake, "Ssh, it was just a nightmare."

Snuggling into the crook of his neck, Natalie sobbed quietly, "It seemed so real."

"I know, but it wasn't. You're safe." He gently rocked her until her tears ceased. She wiped her face and slipped her arms around his torso. Natalie's embrace tightened and a sharp gasp escaped Adrian's lips.

Tilting her head back, she noticed Adrian's face, creased in pain, "Adrian?" She quickly disentangled herself and cried, "Did I hurt you?"

Offering a pained smile, Adrian shook his head. Not breaking eye contact, he pushed his pillow against the bed's headboard and leaned back. "You're having nightmares?" Although a single question, Adrian's tone implied he was there to lend comfort and expected her complete confidence.

Natalie dropped her gaze, "I've had a few bad dreams since, you know." She raised her head and apologized, "It's not important. I'm sorry I woke you; let's go back to sleep."

"It_ is_ important, Natalie. You need to tell me everything."

"We'll talk about it when you're feeling better, sweetie." Natalie smiled and fluffed her pillow.

"No, we need to talk-" Adrian's voice hardened and he clasped her hand, "Now, Natalie."

Surprise on her face, Natalie snickered, "Wow, that sounded pretty bossy, _Boss_."

"I am the boss around here-" Adrian asserted, only to have Natalie give him _the Look_, "What I mean, ah, is that I'm the man of the house and-"

Natalie's glare started to faded, "Go on."

Adrian's voice turned husky, "I'm the man who loves you-" He kissed the palm of her hand then held it against his face, "-the man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you, taking care of you."

She remained silent, amazed at this sudden outpouring.

He continued, "I'm worried about you Natalie. You're spending all you're time taking care of everyone else and not taking care of yourself. You haven't been sleeping or eating properly, have you?"

Natalie sheepishly nodded her head, "No, I haven't."

"And you haven't talked with Dr. Bell or me about what you went through. Natalie, you need to face what happened and talk about it; that's the only way you can get over the trauma."

Natalie sighed, "But it's all so, so _unpleasant_ to think about. I don't want to spend any time thinking about that bastard."

"We'd be talking about you; how_ you_ feel and what _you_ think- that's how we'll get him out of your mind, alright?" Seeing her nod in agreement, Adrian coaxed her back into his arm and held her against his chest. "Natalie, could I ask you something now? It might be difficult for you, and if you don't want to discuss it tonight, I'll understand." Taking her hand, he placed it over his heart.

"I'll try, what's the question?"

Adrian drew a shaky breath, afraid of what Natalie had endured. His voice was suddenly thick with tears, "Did he, _hurt_ you?" Adrian's breathing became ragged and he instinctively tightened his embrace, "I mean, it seemed like you -" Struggling to choke back a sob, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Natalie pulled out of his embrace, "No, hush Adrian, I'm fine. He gave me a few bruises, but otherwise he did not hurt me." Wiping the tears from his cheeks, she cradled his face, "Don't cry, I promise I'm fine. You don't have any reason to be sorry. I love you."

His voice trembled, "But you seemed so unwilling to, to touch me. The way you said goodnight, it seemed like you were scared of me."

Natalie shook her head, "_I_ was scared of hurting _you_. When I saw all your cuts and bruises, my heart ached knowing how much pain you're in. I was afraid you weren't well enough." She smiled softly, "I would never be afraid of making love to you."

Silently thanking God that Natalie hadn't been harmed, Adrian regained his composure. "I was so afraid you were hurt."

Natalie snuggled back against his chest, "I'm glad we talked about this."

"We can talk about anything, Natalie. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

"Day or night?" She sighed.

"Always, Nat."

She nuzzled against his neck, "For the rest of our lives?"

He curved his arm protectively across her back and murmured into her hair, "Yes."

Natalie took a deep breath, her voice hushed and serious, "Until death do us part?"

Adrian kissed her forehead, "Yes."

The room fell silent and Natalie slid out of his arms and sat up and faced him. She touched his face, her fingers gently tracing the contour of his cheek, across his lips, along his jaw. His breathing caught; in the shimmering moonlight, she was luminous. His eyes watched her, dark and possessive. A slow smile tugged at his lips, "Natalie?"

"Yes?" Hope glimmered in her eyes, her head tilted expectantly.

The clock on the bedside ticked softly, drowned out by Adrian's racing heart. He let out a slow, nervous breath. This wasn't what he had envisioned. Natalie deserved so many things- a room bedecked with flowers and candles, a roaring fireplace, and him on bended knee. But as his eyes drank in her face, Adrian knew. This was the perfect moment. The question had already been asked, and answered. All he had to do was say the words aloud. He brought her hand back to his chest and pressed it over his beating heart. _Just four little words_. His voice came out husky, "Will you marry me?"

"Yes." Natalie answered so swiftly, they both laughed. Leaning in for a soft kiss, she added, "I would love to marry you, Adrian."

Marveling at what had just happened, they both fell quiet, spellbound. Eyes half closed in anticipation, their entwined hands separated and began to slowly skim over the other's body. The delicate touches became more forceful and urgent and they fell together, their gentle kisses deepening, exploring, possessing. Pulling back slightly, a mischievous gleam lit Natalie's eyes, "Adrian, are you well enough to celebrate?"

"Yes, Natalie." Murmured softly, Adrian's expectant smile summoned her closer, inviting her healing touch. Clothes swiftly discarded, words eager and breathless, the blissful merging of tenderness and desire consecrated their newly spoken promise.


	20. 20 Every Reason to Worry

Chapter 20 Every Reason to Worry

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate this day and, LOL, a Happy Thursday to those who don't! ;)I'm so grateful for each & every one of you~ thanks for everything!

Be warned- this chapter's a bit of a rollercoaster. Mature situations and drama, dead ahead!

* * *

Adrian watched the soft blue moonlight wash over Natalie's sleeping form, his thoughts and emotions in an angry tangle. He knew he _should_ be happy. He now had every reason to be happy. With Natalie accepting his proposal, Adrian's life was incredibly blessed. But, after he and Natalie made love and she cuddled up against him, warm and satisfied and drowsy, everything changed. A sudden fury materialized, squeezing the joy from his heart. Something uncontrolled and shadowy invaded his thoughts and forced him to relive _that_ dark night, every tortuous detail. With his heart racing, Adrian wanted to get up and go for a run; anything to escape his building agitation. But he couldn't leave Natalie, not with Ralph Roberts lurking in her dreams. Although conflicted, the choice was easy. Adrian remained at Natalie side, alert for the smallest twitch or furrow in her brow, ready to rescue her from the unseen dangers.

It took forever for the morning to arrive.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Awakened by the early morning light, Natalie stretched and yawned. She couldn't believe the night had gone by so quickly. Only mere minutes had passed since she had closed her eyes, curled up in Adrian's arms-_ after a passionate celebration of their engagement! _Immediately, gleefully, Natalie rolled over to rest against Adrian's side. He was already gazing at her, a tired smile on his face. Propping herself up on her elbow, she traced her hand across his chest, stopping over his heart. "Good morning, my future husband."

Adrian chuckled, "Good morning, my future wife."

Studying Adrian's face, Natalie's joyfulness receded, "Are you okay? You look tired."

As Natalie placed her palm against his forehead, Adrian smiled weakly, "I'm fine Nat. What about you- how did you sleep? Any more nightmares?"

"No nightmares. Our little talk made me realize that I'll be okay if I'm with you," Natalie stroked his cheek and brightened, "I love knowing I'll be with you forever."

Adrian looked away and mumbled, "It would have been smart to have a ring, though."

Natalie noticed a darkness shift in his eyes. "No Adrian, your proposal, the words and the moment, was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing!"

Adrian continued as if he hadn't heard Natalie, "We can go shopping for a ring later – but with all my hospital bills, I don't know what I can afford."

"Adrian, look at me." He met her gaze and she lifted an eyebrow, "Don't worry about your hospital bills, I'm sure your health insurance will cover them. And don't worry about my engagement ring. The ring is not important, okay? All I want is you… I love you."

His face remained tight and he twitched and adjusted his shoulder, "I love you too, Nat. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Her eyes flicked to his shoulder, "You look like you're stiff and sore. Do you want to do some PT stretches before getting up?"

Adrian shifted away from Natalie and slipped from the bed. With his back turned, he put on his robe, grumbling, "I need to brush my teeth and wash up before anything." He closed his robe and retied the belt several times, making sure it was perfectly even. Face averted, he shuffled to the door.

Natalie started to climb from the bed, "Do you-"

"_No!"_ Adrian snapped and yanked the door open.

Wincing as the door slammed shut, Natalie scrambled into a tank top and shorts and went into the hall. Pacing in front of the bathroom, she heard Adrian mutter as something crashed to the floor. She lightly tapped on the door, "Adrian? If you want to take a shower, let me help you into the tub. I don't want you to fall."

Through the door, she heard his impatience, "You can help me shower _after _PT. Can you leave me alone _now_?"

"Sure, whatever you want." Natalie snapped back at him, deflated by his grumpiness. Walking away from the door, she chided herself, knowing he was keenly aware of his mood swings and even more frustrated than her. He surely had a number of good reasons to be upset. She just wished he could admit to what was bothering him. Until it was out in the open, Natalie was afraid his stress level would only intensify, pushing him back into his old compulsions and obsessions.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Not knowing how long it would be before Adrian was finished, Natalie ran downstairs to use the guest bathroom. After freshening up, she noticed her parents in the kitchen and, although she was anxious to get back upstairs, stopped in the doorway. Casting a quick glance up the stairs, she tapped on the door jam, "Morning Mom and Dad."

Peggy and Bobby, seated at the kitchen table, looked up from reading the paper and having their coffee. They both offered a cheery '_Good morning,' _oblivious to Natalie's fidgeting. Peggy folded the paper and put it aside and pushed her chair back from the table, "Did you want me to start breakfast, honey?"

"Don't wait on us, Mom. You two have breakfast if you're ready. I have to help Adrian with some PT so we won't be down for a while." She turned and, as she climbed the stairs, her smile fell away.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

When Adrian reentered the bedroom, flinging the door open, Natalie knew his mood had not improved. Watching him cross the room, she sat on the bed and put a cheerful inflection in her voice, "Feeling better?"

Not making eye contact, Adrian skulked across the room. He yanked the dresser drawer open and pulled out a pair of boxers. Leaning against the bureau, he clumsily bent over and stepped into them, muttering as he pulled them up. He then glanced at Natalie. And that's when she gasped. Adrian had shaved and, thanks to his shoulder injury and an uncooperative right arm, had accidentally cut and nicked his face and neck. _Hacked to bits_was the phrase that leapt to Natalie's mind. Thank goodness he had a styptic pencil in his shaving kit to stop the bleeding.

"Oh my God Adrian, what did you do?" She jumped to his side, her hands pressed to her own face as she inspected his raw, chaffed skin.

He merely shrugged, a sudden fatigue weighing him down.

"Promise me you'll let me shave you until you're better. Please?" Natalie placed her hands on his chest and searched his eyes.

"Okay," He sighed, his anger completely gone, "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to help me."

Hugging him gently, Adrian passively surrendered into her arms. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she encouraged, "No matter what, I'm always here to help you, Adrian." Hearing him murmur in agreement, Natalie released him and looped her arm in his, leading him over to the bed, "Can we do your stretching exercises now?"

Offering a small nod, he let her remove his robe and sat on the bed, a faraway look on his face. Natalie was relieved his rage had subsided but found this docile numbness even more disturbing. Not seeming to care that he was wearing just a pair of boxes, Natalie was filled with compassion. He looked so achingly sad and defenseless. Natalie waited for him to lie back on the bed before she gingerly knelt by his side. Meeting his blank stare, she forced enthusiasm, "While we do this, why don't you close your eyes and imagine you're somewhere else- a happy place."

As Natalie took hold of his wrist and rotated his arm, he closed his eyes, a strained look across his face. She continued to help him stretch and, despite wincing from the pain, a cryptic smile eventually tugged at his mouth. Seeing his returning happiness, Natalie felt a wave of relief pass over her. After finishing the range of motion exercises, Natalie, still kneeling at his side, settled back onto her legs. Natalie placed her hand on his chest and became concerned by his heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat. The PT had not been _that _strenuous. She scanned down his prone body; the pink flush across his chest, the deep rise and fall of his stomach as he breathed, the_- Oh,_ he was definitely having some rousing thoughts. _Talk about mood swings_. Natalie held back a smirk, "Adrian? You look really happy- what are you thinking?"

He blinked his eyes open and slid his left hand onto her thigh, his fingertips tracing small circles on her skin. "I'm thinking about you, Natalie."

"Thinking what, exactly?" She began to massage his chest and his eyes fluttered shut.

Eyes closed, his smile broadened and he gave a throaty chuckle.

"Adrian, you need to tell me," Placing one hand on the mattress for support, Natalie leaned over him and traced her fingertips along his brow. "What's on your mind?"

His dark eyes opened and Natalie was stunned by the hunger radiating from his gaze. His voice was husky and warm, "I was thinking about that dream I had."

Natalie tilted her head, a sly smile playing on her lips. "From the hospital? You promised, when we got home-" She bent closer, her voice raw with anticipation, "How does your dream start?"

His eyelids lowered, "You were wearing my robe." He groaned softly at the memory and firmly caressed her thigh.

A shiver telegraphed up her spine, "Your robe?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?" She felt dizzy as his fingers dipped under the hem of her shorts.

"No," He murmured faintly.

"Should I put it on?" Her eyes were on his mouth.

He suddenly smirked, "Yes please."

Natalie coyly whispered, "Close your eyes-" and slipped from the bed, scooping up his robe. Quicksilver fast she locked the bedroom door and tugged the curtains closed. Returning to the foot of the bed, she pulled off her tank top and shorts. This is what they both needed- to love and comfort, to restore and revive. Putting on the robe, Natalie shuddered at the feeling of the soft cotton against her bare skin. She flipped the robe's collar up and took a deep breath, inhaling Adrian's familiar, clean scent. After loosely tying the belt, she returned to the bed and stretched out next to Adrian's left side. She murmured, "I'm back, now what?"

Holding her gaze, he rolled onto his side and rested on his elbow, "Now this-" Leaning in to place kisses along her neck, his fingers easily untied the belt and he slipped his right hand inside the robe.

Eyes closed, Natalie trembled as his fingers, warm and soft, deftly explored her curves. Aroused by his touch, Natalie was impatient to be closer. She traced her hand down his torso to the waistband of his boxers and tugged at the elastic, "Were you wearing these in your dream?"

Without a word, he rolled onto his back and lifted his hips while she tugged them off. A grimace crossed Adrian's face as he returned to rest on his left side. Natalie hesitated, waiting to see if his pain continued. When he met her gaze, an eager glint told her everything was fine. Natalie opened the robe and, as he pressed up against her, draped the fabric over him. "This sure is cozy," Natalie purred.

"Natalie-" His eyes afire, he caressed her face, taking in her beauty. She kissed him, teasingly soft, surrendering herself, wanting him to take his time. He slid his hand slowly down her neck, pausing over the swell of her breast, further then into the dip of her waist and over her hip. Kissing her hungrily, his hand continuing down her leg and coaxed it over his hip, "I love you."

"I love you too," She gasped between kisses, her worries fading into oblivion. Melting together, Natalie yielded to his hungry lips and sure hands, letting him take her over the brink.

Their passion satisfied, Natalie caught her breath and remained cradled in his arms, close to his heart.

* * *

Natalie looked at the clock on the nightstand- 10:45AM- She had ten minutes to fill, six hundred seconds to squander. She continued to stare at the clock, willing it to change. It refused to change. Natalie sighed; she had to get her mind off the time. Her eyes shifted to the picture of Julie, Adrian and herself from so many Christmases ago. Natalie lifted the photo from the nightstand and studied it, a teary smile coming to her face. For so long she had wanted to marry Adrian, but had been afraid to broach the subject. And now, at 10:46AM, Adrian was going downstairs, ready to ask Bobby and Peggy for their blessing. Placing the photo back on the nightstand, Natalie dried her eyes. She already felt blessed.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian gripped the banister with his left hand as he made his way down the stairs, his mind racing. _Why didn't I ask for their permission before asking Natalie? Why can't I get anything right? _Entering the kitchen, he spied Bobby and Peggy sitting in the living room, their back to him. Every rehearsed sentence flew from his mind and the palms of his hands suddenly felt sweaty. He had no reason to worry –_he had every reason to worry- _of course they wouldn't object –_but they could easily object._

His heart was thumping madly. Adrian took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and entered the living room.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

10:49 AM- Six more minutes before she could go downstairs. Natalie ran her hand over the blanket on the bed, smoothing out the smallest wrinkles. A laugh sprang from her lips as memories of this morning's tryst swirled in her mind. Adrian had been unusually bold, amazingly enthusiastic and, Natalie blushed as she recalled, extremely vocal. Thank goodness Julie was out of the house, having gone back to college the day before, and her parents had been downstairs. Then afterwards, folded in each other's embrace, peacefulness overtook them. While in his arms, Natalie had sensed a shift in his guarded emotions. It wouldn't be long before he revealed what troubled his heart.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Fidgeting with the sling on his right arm, Adrian entered the living room, "Good morning, Peggy, Bobby. How are you this morning?"

Both looked up from their books and Peggy removed her reading glasses, shooting him an amused look, "I think you mean '_good afternoon', _Adrian. It _is_ almost eleven o'clock. You realize, your _physical therapy_ session caused you and Natalie to miss breakfast." She glanced at Bobby, an unreadable look on her face, "We were starting to wonder if we should send up room service."

Adrian felt a blush of heat roll over his skin, having temporarily forgotten they were down here while he and Natalie were upstairs, _together-_ _OH God, did they suspect?_He stammered, "Sorry, ahh, here's the thing, Nat and I, I mean, Natalie was helping me, you know-" He plucked at his sling and his heartbeat was deafening. It was a miracle his legs didn't give out.

Bobby laid his book on the coffee table, his blue eyes sparkling, "Adrian, don't mind Peggy's teasing, she's just in a happy mood- we both are. Our lawyer called us this morning and informed us that, thanks to you, our case has an excellent chance of being dismissed. Our lawyer lined up some expert witnesses, who can prove the photos that linked us to the crime were doctored. Our hearing is at the end of the week. Peggy and I should be back in our own home by the weekend."

"Imagine, three more days and you'll be rid of us," Peggy chimed in, patting Bobby's hand.

"That's wonderful. I mean, about the case being dismissed, not the getting rid of you." His embarrassment subsided and an unexpected wistfulness touched him. Their support the past few days had been a godsend and he really would miss them. He scanned the room, suddenly feeling a bit lost. A newly displayed picture on the mantle caught his eye- Julie awarding him a medal recognizing his courage. His thoughts, _his mission_, came back to him. He cleared his throat and sat on the couch opposite them. "I need to speak with you both about something important if that's alright with you."

Peggy and Bobby exchanged curious looks and clasped hands. Bobby sat forward, "What is it, son?"

Adrian paused, tears welling in his eyes. _Son. _Adrian had never heard that simple, tiny, word spoken with such warmth and concern. Taking a breath, he quickly wiped his eyes and met their gaze. His voice thick with emotion, he began, "Here's the thing-"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Natalie stared at the clock – 10:53AM- two more minutes. She stood by the open door, her eyes on the clock, her ears perked for the slightest of sounds. The anticipation was intoxicating and her entire body churned with excitement. She felt like a teenager. Since Mitch hadn't thought to ask Bobby and Peggy for her hand in marriage, Natalie was overwhelmed by Adrian's desire to gain her parent's permission.

10:54AM- One more minute. Watching the clock, she gripped the door frame; it was the only thing preventing her from flying down the stairs. She then heard her mother's voice, calling her name.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Peggy stood at the landing, listening to the thump of footsteps along the upstairs hallway. Natalie bounded down the staircase and Peggy only had seconds to brace herself as Natalie hurled into her arms. The breath squeezed out of her, Peggy wheezed, "Congratulations honey. I couldn't be happier."

"Thanks Mom," looking over Peggy's shoulder, Natalie met Adrian's gaze, "I couldn't be happier either."

Standing side-by-side, Bobby lightly touched Adrian's back and stepped towards Natalie, "Excuse me while I go congratulate my little girl."

While Bobby and Natalie hugged, Peggy beckoned her future son-in-law over. "Come here, Adrian-" she laughed at her own pun, "-and join the family." Mindful of his injuries, Peggy refrained from hugging him and instead, placed her hand on his uninjured shoulder, "I'm very happy you two are making it official."

"Me too," his face lit up. Taking Peggy by surprise, he stepped closer and, with his uninjured arm, quickly hugged her.

When he released her, Peggy asked, "So when's the big day? Have you two set a date?" After receiving a blank look and shrug from Adrian, Peggy good-naturedly rolled her eyes and huffed, "Oh, men! How typical!" She turned to her daughter, who had finally disentangled herself from Bobby's hug, "Natalie Jane? We have plans to make!" It was then Peggy noticed Natalie's ring finger was bare. Without thinking, she blurted out, "Where _is _your ring?"

Adrian and Natalie's eyes met and Peggy noticed a sudden darkness in Adrian's demeanor. Natalie reached over and took Adrian's hand. Tugging him towards the couch, Natalie motioned for her parents to return to their chairs. "We haven't selected a ring yet, and-" Natalie squeezed Adrian's hand, "We'll let you know the date as soon as we decide."

Instead of sitting down, Peggy reached out and took Adrian by the elbow, "Excuse us Natalie but I need to borrow my future son-in-law for a moment." Adrian paled as Peggy walked him to the front door. Leading him out onto the front porch, Peggy gave Adrian a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Sitting down next to Peggy on the porch swing, Adrian tugged at his sling. He stared off into the distance, his mind miles away, wondering how-

Peggy touched his arm, startling him. "Adrian? Did you hear me?"

"No, sorry." Adrian turned towards her, "What did you say?"

"I said- I have my grandmother's engagement ring at home. I'll give it to you as soon as Bobby and I are allowed back on our property. I would love if you gave it to Natalie. The ring _is_ beautiful but if you want, you can change the setting." Noticing his confused expression, Peggy reassured him, "Julie can help you decide, I'm sure she'd love to assist _her dad_."

A familiar car pulled up to the curb and Adrian looked at the arriving visitor. Dr. Bell waved as he remained in his vehicle, cell phone to his ear. Adrian returned Dr. Bell's wave then looked back Peggy, her generous offer finally registering, "Peggy, I don't' know what to say." A lump caught in Adrian's throat. Natalie would have a ring that had meaning and history. "That sounds perfect, Natalie will love it. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Peggy's voice suddenly softened, "But you know, the ring in not just for Natalie. It's for you as well, Adrian. Bobby and I think of you as our son and we're overjoyed Natalie found you. We can't wait for the wedding."

Tears creeping into his eyes, Adrian was overcome. Blinking rapidly he looked away and distractedly watched Dr. Bell get out of his car.

Peggy smiled at Adrian's reaction and continued, "And keep in mind that Bobby and I would be honored to pay for the wedding. You and Natalie just decide on the details and we'll make it happen." Before Adrian had a chance to thank her again, Peggy stood, waved at Neven, and started toward the front door, "I'll get Bobby and we'll leave you to Dr. Bell. You have a lot to talk about."

There certainly was a lot to talk about with Dr. Bell.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't all be pleasant.


	21. 21 No Matter What

Chapter 21 No Matter What

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Sorry for the late posting~ real-life & _whatever_. Also, I know there are a few glitches in this chapter but, sigh, things became muddier with each 'fix.' If you're confused by anything, shoot me a PM.

~~Anywho, this is the morning after Adrian proposed to Natalie and Dr. Bell arrives for an A&N therapy session. Jeesh, any time Bell arrives- expect angst & drama. :(

Also, I'm sure you realize, Dr. Bell's therapeutic approach has been fictionalized to fit the story line. Trauma and mental disorders are very real and require an untold amount of time with true professionals.

* * *

After entering the living room, Dr. Bell waited for Natalie to take her place on the couch next to Adrian before taking a seat opposite the couple. As he settled in his chair, the therapist couldn't help but notice that a magazine was slightly askew on the coffee table. Neven was amazed that Adrian was unperturbed by this pesky imperfection. Something was clearly easing Adrian's OCD. Neven opened his notepad slowly, giving himself a moment to discretely observe Adrian and Natalie's body language. He noted their eager eye contact and their easy, casual touches. They seemed lost in their own private world. After a minute, Neven tapped his pen on his pad and straightened in his seat, ready to officially start the session.

"Adrian, Natalie, if I'm not mistaken, you have some good news?" Dr. Bell observed how Natalie took Adrian's hand and shifted in her seat towards him, their thighs touching_. Interesting._

"You are _not _mistaken, Dr. Bell." Adrian laughed and leaned toward Natalie, his full attention on her radiant face.

Dr. Bell watched the couple's fluid, non-verbal communication- they were mirroring the other's movements. V_ery interesting._

Natalie returned Adrian's gaze, "I didn't know we were that obvious. Can I-?" With a nod from Adrian, Natalie faced Dr. Bell and joyfully gushed, "Last night, Adrian asked me to marry him."

Natalie's happy words hung in the air, begging for a reaction. Dr. Bell remained quiet, an unreadable expression on his face. His intense gaze shifted from Natalie to Adrian, his face frozen. Without looking down, Neven scribbled 'married?' on his pad.

In slow motion, the smile fell from Adrian's face. His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened, "Dr. Bell? Natalie and I are getting married. Isn't that great news?"

Neven sat back in his chair, well aware of Adrian's sudden agitation. Dr. Bell remained calm, "Do you think it's great news, Adrian?"

Adrian's voice was quiet, his anger barely restrained, "Of course it is." Dropping his eyes, he released Natalie's hand and reached out and straightened the magazine on the coffee table.

Placing her hand on Adrian's knee, Natalie shot Dr. Bell a confused look, "Dr. Bell, I thought you'd be happy for us."

Dr. Bell held his hand out in a 'stop' motion, "I didn't say I'm_ not_ happy. But-"

"But?" Adrian bolted from the couch and growled, "What's the problem? Can't you be happy for us?"

"Adrian," Dr. Bell offered in a soothing voice, "sit and let's talk-"

"No! All you want to do is talk!" Adrian began to pace the room, needing to move. With his left hand tugging at the sling on his right arm, Adrian barked, "_Talk, talk, talk._ I'm sick of talking!"

Natalie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Adrian, let's hear what Dr. Bell has to say."

"Why? What does he know? Anyway-" Adrian paused behind the seated therapist, glowering at him, "wasn't your license suspended,_ Doctor_ Bell? Should you even be conducting therapy sessions?"

Looking over his shoulder, Dr. Bell flashed a relieved smile, "Actually Adrian, your suggestion to Captain Stottlemeyer helped clear me of the charges and get my license reinstated. I was meaning to thank you for your help. You literally saved my life."

Adrian shifted his shoulder and resumed pacing behind Dr. Bell's chair, scorn contorting his face.

"What suggestion? How did Adrian clear you?" Natalie asked, perched on the edge of her seat. Her eyes flicked anxiously between Dr. Bell and Adrian.

Dr. Bell turned to Natalie and his face became animated, "Adrian suggested that the bruises on the girl's arms were too big and in the wrong position. I'm not sure of the exact forensic science but-" the therapist looked behind him, attempting to address Adrian, "The Captain said they took impressions of Ralph Roberts' hands and digitally compared the size and shape of his hands and fingers with pictures of the bruises. They also did some complicated mathematical equation between Roberts' height and the woman's height and figured Roberts was her attacker. When the police confronted the woman, she admitted Roberts made her blame me. All charges were dropped and-" Dr. Bell smiled at Natalie, "I'm back on the job."

"What a relief. I'm so happy for you!" Natalie prompted Adrian, "Isn't that wonderful news?"

Adrian rolled his eyes then glared at Dr. Bell, hissing sarcastically, "S_o _wonderful_. Congratulations, Neven."_

"Adrian, let me explain why I hesitated in offering my congratulations. Will you please sit down?" Adrian stood beside the couch and crossed his left arm over his restrained right arm, his body coiled fury. Dr. Bell sighed and laced his fingers together, "Adrian, right now both you and Natalie are under a great deal of stress. And marriage is a big decision. I'm sure you remember the last life-altering decision you made while you were under a great deal of stress."

Adrian's breath hitched and his eyes narrowed, rage silencing his tongue.

Dr. Bell redirected his attention and gently asked, "Natalie, you remember, don't you?"

Natalie answered quietly, crestfallen, "He bought that awful house after Dr. Kroger passed."

"Exactly. Stress can cause people to act out or 'over-commit.' It's a common coping strategy." Tapping his notebook, Dr. Bell glanced from Natalie to Adrian, "I just wanted to caution you against rushing into such an important decision right after such a life-altering event. I don't want this to affect your marriage. You _should _get married but you need to work through this trauma first."

Adrian flinched, awash with anger. He bitterly asked, "You think we're rushing into marriage?"

The therapist tilted his head, "Adrian, I'm sure this experience has led you to reevaluate your life- you almost died and Natalie barely escaped a horrific ordeal. Your newfound appreciation of the good things in your life is admirable. But why did you decide to ask Natalie to marry you _right now_? It's surely not because of your traditional values- which I admit I'm surprised by."

A puzzled look crossed Adrian's face. "I don't understand. What are you surprised by?"

"Adrian, up until today, you've been very reserved when talking about Natalie and your relationship with her. You've always been respectful and, you would agree, old-fashioned. I'm not judging you but, I was _a little_taken aback when I learned you and Natalie are already engaging in sexual relat-"

"Stop-" Snatching the pad from Dr. Bell's hand, Adrian threw it across the room, "get out of our house!"

Adrian was livid, trembling with anger. What the hell was wrong with Dr. Bell, questioning_ that_ aspect of his relationship with Natalie? Yes _he_ was a traditionalist but she wasn't, and they had equal say in how their relationship progressed. Adrian felt an overpowering need to defend Natalie, bristling at the thought that Bell was judging_ her_values. So she didn't believe it necessary to marry before- Adrian stopped and angrily shook his head. What he shared with Natalie was sacred, how dare anyone question their relationship! Dale Beiderbeck's lurid comments suddenly invaded Adrian's mind and he was crushed by the reality that Natalie, _his Natalie,_ had given herself to other men… "Damn you," Adrian harshly rubbed his brow, purposefully refocusing his hatred on Dr. Bell.

Adrian stopped his pacing and glared at Neven. Seeing the doctor's confused expression only added to Adrian's rage. Did he really have to explain to Bell the horror that was his life _before_ Natalie? When Trudy finally released him to love again, Natalie had been the one to bring him back to life. She had freely given him love and solace and, Adrian confessed, he had needed her healing touch. How could Dr. Bell question that?

"Get the hell out!" Adrian snarled and strode up behind the doctor's seat. Adrian abruptly pushed on Neven's chair, tipping it forward, "Now!"

"Adrian!" The therapist kept his feet planted on the floor, desperately holding onto the arms of the chair. Adrian released the chair and Neven held on as it toppled backward. Trying to appear unfazed, Neven continued, "it's okay-"

"It's not okay," Adrian stalked over to the front door and yanked it open. "Get out before I throw you out!" Pulling his sling off his arm, Adrian approached the doctor, his eyes black and threatening.

Dr. Bell nervously glanced at Natalie and reluctantly stood, "I'll leave and-"

"Don't come back." Adrian stepped behind Dr. Bell and shoved him toward the door.

Natalie placed herself between the men and calmly coaxed Adrian backward, "Adrian, please don't! Let's all sit down and calmly discuss this."

"Natalie! He-" Adrian jabbed his finger in Bell's direction, "He thinks I'm, I'm _using_ you, _us_, to forget about what happened." He glared at Neven, "You bastard, you've never been so wrong in your life!"

"Adrian, I'm sure Dr. Bell didn't mean that." With her hands on Adrian's chest, Natalie shot the therapist a look. "You didn't mean to question our relationship, did you?"

Neven shook his head, his voice apologetic, "No, not at all. I know you're in love and I do approve of your relationship. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't get married years ago- after that encounter with Dale the Whale and Sherriff Rollins. It seemed like everyone but you two realized your relationship had changed and grown. It's great you finally want to get married, but first you need to deal with this. I want to make sure you don't ignore the emotional turmoil you've experienced. It's fine if you want to get married."

"Thanks for your approval, _Neven-_" Adrian huffed sarcastically. He stepped away from Natalie, returned to the front door and held it open, "You can go now."

"Adrian," Dr. Bell approached the entryway, "I'm sorry you don't think I'm being supportive. I am. I _do_ want what's best for you, and Natalie." The doctor reached out to touch Adrian, only to hesitate. Physical contact was definitely a trigger for Adrian and the therapist didn't want to further provoke his patient. Regardless of his injuries, Adrian was still a cop, trained in hand-to-hand combat. He was bigger and stronger and was in the midst of a violent mood swing.

Neven folded his hands together and quietly added, "I see you have a lot of anger, Adrian, and I want to help you through it. I'll leave, but I'll be back tomorrow. Feel free to call me tonight if you want to talk."

"Don't wait by the phone, doc," Adrian growled, folding his arms over his chest.

Dr. Bell stood in the doorway and turned to Natalie. Unfortunately, she would have to deal with Adrian's agitation alone. Neven was confident however that Natalie would be_ physically_ safe with Adrian. "Natalie, call me anytime." Bell observed Natalie furtively glance at Adrian before she picked his sling up from the floor. Folding it gently and tucking it under her arm, Dr. Bell could tell Natalie wouldn't call.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Turning onto Natalie's street, Leland braced himself. He hadn't brought Roberts' case file with him and knew Adrian would be upset. The Captain parked his Crown Victoria at the curb behind Dr. Bell's sedan and felt a wave of relief. What a wonderful coincidence. The good doctor could help persuade Adrian that he shouldn't read the case file.

The Captain climbed from his car anda flash of movement on the porch caught his eye. The front door was open and Dr. Bell hastily emerged from the house. Leland stood waiting on the sidewalk as Neven descended the steps. The Captain's stomach lurched when he saw Bell's tense expression. Taking a step back, Leland leaned against the doctor's car and sarcastically quipped, "Hey doc, have a good session?"

"No," Neven shook his head, "I'm afraid I left Adrian in a very agitated state."

"Great. What happened?" Leland rolled his eyes as soon as the question left his mouth. "Wait, you can't tell me. Patient-therapist confidentiality, right?"

"Sorry, you are correct." The doctor's eyebrows knit together, "But I can warn you to be careful, Captain. This experience with Roberts has churned up a lot of suppressed anger in Adrian and he's liable to lash out."

"Thanks for the heads up but I think I can handle Monk. But-" the Captain glanced at the house, "can I ask your advice? Adrian _demanded _I bring him Roberts' case file. But because of his involvement, I don't think he should see it. He shouldn't, right?"

"At this point in time, I would say he's unprepared both physically and emotionally. But honestly, Captain, doesn't every cop feel driven to solve any crime that touches their families?"

Leland blushed as he thought about how he had acted when Karen was involved in a car accident years ago. He pushed off Bell's car and cleared his throat, "But _right now_ Monk's too fragile, right?"

Dr. Bell walked around his car and unlocked the door, "That's true, but Adrian won't agree. I'm afraid you're in a no-win situation, Captain. No matter what he says to you, please be patient. Even though Adrian will react with hostility, he really needs your unwavering support."

"I can be patient, supportive _and_ unwavering," Leland smirked. After saying goodbye, the Captain trudged up the steps and reminded himself to stay calm, no matter what.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Leland stood in the living room, his arms folded in exasperation, his patience being tested to its limits. Much to the Captain's dismay, after the initial greetings were exchanged and Natalie went upstairs, Adrian turned manic. Leland watched helplessly as Adrian paced the room, ranting about Ralph Roberts, wanting to see the case file. The Captain tried to reason with his seething friend, "Adrian, when you were in the hospital, I told you that you need to take a break. You're the victim-"

"I'm _not_ a victim and I _don't_ need a break!" Adrian slammed his fist against the mantle, knocking several pictures out of alignment, "I need to find Roberts' accomplice. You can't stop me from working on this case, Leland." He impatiently repositioned the photos, his hands shaking.

"I'm not giving you the file!" The Captain gritted his teeth, wondering if he should yell up the stairs for Natalie to join them. Leland took a step back when Adrian, wild-eyed and shaking, suddenly strode up and invaded his personal space.

Full of contempt, Adrian snarled, "Fine, I'll just go over your head. I'll call the mayor. He won't be happy to hear that you're withholding evidence from me."

Leland's pulse began to race and his hands unconsciously rolled into fists, "Damn it Adrian, I'm your friend, remember? I'm doing this for your own good." Uncurling his fist, the Captain placed his hand on Adrian's uninjured shoulder and lightly pushed him away, "You would go to the mayor? Monk, if you weren't hurt, I'd put you in your place!"

Fury ignited in his dark eyes and Adrian swung wildly at the Captain with his left fist. The punch catching him on the jaw, Leland staggered back into the wall, knocking a picture to the floor. Adrian swung again, but the Captain was now prepared. Leland blocked the blow and returned with a right jab, re-splitting Adrian's lip. As Adrian brought his hand up to his face, Leland delivered a punch to the gut. With Adrian doubled over, the Captain pushed him to the floor and stepped away.

Falling onto his right side, Adrian instinctively put arm out to catch himself. He yelped in pain as his shoulder absorbed the shock.

"Oh, hell, I'm sorry." Full of remorse, Leland reached down to help his friend up. "You caught me by surprise, buddy. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Get your hands off me!" Adrian clamored to his feet and staggered over to the couch, grabbing onto the back for support. Leland walked across the room, wanting to avoid any more confrontations.

Natalie tore down the steps and rushed past the Captain to Adrian's side. "What happened? I thought I heard fighting!"

"Just a little disagreement between friends." Leland squared his shoulders and clasped his hands together, rubbing his knuckles, "Neven warned me Adrian might take a swing at me, but I didn't believe it."

"What? Adrian, you hit the Captain?" Natalie looked up at Adrian but he wouldn't meet her gaze.

His eyes fastened on Leland, Adrian wiped his bloodied lip with the back of his hand, "You are _not _my friend. Get out."

"Adrian, this isn't right. Apologize to Leland!" Natalie touched his arm but Adrian jerked away, his bloody hand forming a fist. He immediately froze, the anger draining from his eyes.

Leland couldn't tell who looked more shocked, Natalie or Adrian.

Natalie stepped closer to Adrian, fearless, "Do you want to hit me too?

"Yeah, are you going to hit Natalie too?" The Captain rushed to Natalie's side, snarling, "I'll sure as hell arrest you, _buddy_! I don't care what you've been through- don't you ever raise your hand to a woman."

"No, I-" Adrian dropped his hand and shuddered, unable to speak. Choking back a breath, he brought a shaky hand to his mouth.

"Adrian?" Natalie reached out to touch him but he backed away. Tears welling in his eyes, Adrian stumbled backward, turned and lurched up the staircase. Natalie and Leland then heard the bedroom door slam.

Natalie turned to the Captain, "I have to go upstairs but, are you okay Leland?"

Rubbing his jaw, Leland smirked, "I'm fine. That was just a little 'love-tap.'" His smile then faded, "Natalie, I don't think you should be alone with him. He's out of control."

"No, you saw how he stopped himself when I confronted him." Natalie forcibly escorted the Captain to the front door, "Don't worry, Adrian would never hurt me."

"Well, I'm going to sit out front and, in ten minutes, I'm going to call your cell phone. If you don't answer, I'm coming in." Leland stood on the porch and his voice softened, "He's not himself, Natalie. I know he's stressed out but I've never seen him this bad. - Is he taking any drugs?"

Natalie nodded, "He is on pain medication. When I get upstairs, I'll check the bottle to make sure he's taking the proper dosage." She quickly hugged him, "Thanks Leland, I'll talk to you later."

The Captain took his phone from his jacket and waved it in the air as he walked across the porch, "In ten minutes- don't' forget."

Natalie waved and closed the front door. Grabbing her cell phone and shoving it into her pocket, she went upstairs.

~~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Standing outside the closed bedroom door, Natalie paused, listening to the silence within. Her stomach knotted; she couldn't decide if the quiet was a good sign. Knocking lightly, she turned the doorknob, "I'm coming in Adrian." There was no response.

He was sitting on the far side of the bed, his back to the door. Hunched over with his face hidden in his hands, he was ever so slightly rocking back and forth. Natalie could see the tension radiating off his body.

"Adrian?" She called softly and, once again, there was no response. Before heading around the bed, she stopped at the dresser and picked up his bottle of pain medication. Dumping the contents in her hand, she did a quick count. He hadn't taken any pills, not a one. Now she was worried. Closing up the bottle, she walked around the bed and sat next him. Adrian stayed hunched over, face hidden, silent.

Natalie placed her hand on his lower back. Immediately his rocking became more pronounced and he began to tremble. Sliding her arm across his back, she rocked with him. "What is it, Adrian? Please tell me."

She could barely hear his voice, "Nat, are you going to leave me?"

Natalie tightened her grip, "Never! Why would you ask that? We're in this together- till death do us part- remember?"

He stifled a sob, "But, I almost hurt you."

"No, you didn't. You were just angry with the Captain. I trust you-" Natalie's cell phone rang, distracting her. She pulled the phone from her pocket and opened it, "I, umh, need to answer this. It's, ahh-"

Adrian glanced at the phone and snorted at the irony, "It's Leland, because _he _doesn't trust me."

Natalie offered an apologetic smile and answered the phone. "Hey Captain, things are fine- just like I told you-Yes he's calm- Thanks- we both appreciate your concern. Yes, I'll call you later, thanks again." Pressing the disconnect button, she tossed the phone onto the nightstand and turned back to Adrian. "He was just, you know, a little worried."

Reluctantly meeting her gaze, his voice faltered, "I'm sorry Nat. I don't know why I keep lashing out."

"Be patient, I promise we'll figure it out with Dr. Bell's help. - Remember what you told me last night after my nightmare? You said the only way to get over the trauma is to face what happened and talk about it. Adrian, I know you're afraid of the pain that's buried inside of you. But you're not alone, we're here with you. Me, my parents, Julie, the Captain- we love you and we'll fight for you. No matter what." She took his hand and their fingers entwined, "We'll get through this together."

Adrian bowed his head. Burning tears gathered in his eyes and he wistfully murmured, "Together."

* * *

Removing his key from the ignition, Dr. Bell looked out his car's passenger window and studied the blue, Tudor-style house. With its well-kept front yard and cozy front porch, it looked normal, it looked homey. But Neven was acutely aware that looks were deceiving. Long before Trudy's murder, this house is where it started. _Here_ was the origin of all of Adrian's problems.

Neven normally went slow and allowed his patients to help guide the pace of their therapy but, as Adrian was spiraling out of control, the therapist felt it imperative to get to the heart of the matter. Ambrose, and the house itself, would be a rich source of information on Adrian's formative years- years Adrian had been unwilling to talk about. Armed with Adrian's past, tomorrow's session would be more than just talk- it would be a full-scale intervention.

After twelve long years of therapy, Dr. Bell was determined to free Adrian from the secrets that tormented his heart. It was time to heal.

* * *

A/N: Ya'll got my pre-apology about the dark nature of this story, right? Well, thanks to Dr. Bell, things are about to turn downright grim in the next chapter.-Actually, it's titled 'Troubles will Pass' so maybe it's not all bad…


	22. 22 Troubles will Pass

Chapter 22 Troubles Will Pass

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: It's the next day, time to start connecting the storyline. ~This is a rough chapter, sorry~

~ Dr. bell returns and, heck, I don't even know what kind of warning to give…maybe, _**Disturbing Imagery**_- tender-hearted readers might want to skip the_ italicized_ section near the end.

* * *

The cell phone vibrated atop the café table, disturbing Damien Beck's solitary lunch. Damien flipped the phone open, stared at the caller ID and groaned. California. This was a brand new phone, purchased under an assumed name with cash in New York City- How did _he_ get this number so quickly?

The phone stopped vibrating, but Damien's pulse was already racing. Rising from the café's table, Damien shoved a handful of cash under his water glass and began to walk towards Central Park. The phone was silent for a minute and then began to buzz again. Damien pressed the receive button and growled, "How did you find me?"

With a hearty chuckle, Dale answered, "Glad to hear your voice too, Damien! But you know I have my sources."

"I told you I'm through working for you Dale. I want to start my life over." Damien turned off of 59th street into Central Park and followed a secluded footpath through the woods. Damien was now shaking with anger. He had left everything behind, even his prized car, to start a new life. But in a city of over 8 million people, Dale had found him in only eight days.

"Who mentioned work? Can't a man just call his little brother to see what he's up to?" The smirk was evident in Dale's lilting voice.

"I'm only your half-brother Dale. Don't give me any 'little brother' crap-"

Dale laughed again, "Easy there, don't have a coronary. I just wanted to thank you."

Damien knew Dale, so of course he was suspicious. "Thank me for what? After years of being one of your enforcers, I've deserted you. I'm pretty sure thanking me is the last thing on your mind."

"No, really, I do want to thank you. You helped keep my life interesting! You stopped that crazy Father Ralph from killing Adrian Monk. What would I do with myself if I didn't have that_ diversion_?"

"And I'm one of your diversions as well? Is that why you told Monk about _the Judge?"_

Dale huffed in exasperation, "I didn't tell him about _the Judge_, my dear _half_-brother. I _merely_ mentioned Warrick Tennyson, who should have been dead by the time Monk found him.- It was just a little wild goose chase I sent him on. You know, plane ride, big dirty city. A test of Monk's phobias, if you will. How was I to know Tennyson would tell Monk about the six-fingered freak, Frank Nunn? - Oh, life is like a game of Dominoes, isn't it?"

"Dale, I want the bottom line. Why are you calling?" Damien rubbed his brow in frustration.

"Seriously, I wanted to thank you. -It's only a matter of time before Monk figures out I was Roberts' silent partner. When he comes to see me, I'm thinking about giving him some hints about who was behind his beloved Trudy's, _umh_, 'misfortune.' After all, what more can he do to me? -Watching Monk put the pieces together and then _having him fall_ _apart_ will be priceless. Hell, he might even go catatonic!" Dale snorted in delight, "Oh, I love my little games."

"And where does this leave us, Dale? Will you leave me alone?"

"Enjoy your freedom - _for now." _Dale gave a sinister laugh, "I can always find you if I need you."

* * *

Adrian and Natalie once again sat together on the couch, opposite Dr. Bell. But today there were no impetuous smiles, the mood decidedly darker. Dr. Bell placed a large carry bag beside his chair but gave no hint as to what it contained. Noticing the dark circle under both Adrian and Natalie's eyes, Dr. Bell asked, "Any concerns before we get started?"

Natalie glanced at Adrian and took his hand. "Dr. Bell, I think you should know Adrian hasn't been taking his pain medication."

"Nat, I told you last night, I don't need them." Adrian shrugged his shoulders. Today he actually did feel a tiny bit better and so had forgone wearing the sling.

"Adrian, you were shot only eight days ago. I'm sure you're in pain!" Natalie shifted on the couch, accidentally jostling Adrian.

Watching Adrian wince while simulatiously muttering 'no', Dr. Bell decided it was time for some difficult questions. "Adrian, it's obvious you're in pain. Why are you punishing yourself?"

Adrian's eyebrows knit together, confused by Dr. Bell's confrontational tone. "I'm not. You know I can't stand the thought of chemicals in me!"

"No, you can't bear the thought of _not being in control_." Dr. Bell leaned forward, met Adrian's bewildered gaze, and continued, "Adrian, you're afraid of feeling helpless because you've always felt vulnerable." Neven was determined to make Adrian confront his true fears, but he was cognizant this session would be extremely upsetting. He proceeded gently, "I know you're going to point to your phobias and freely admit that you're weak- but many of your 'weaknesses' are merely diversions. They keep you from facing the true insecurities in your heart. Adrian, I know you're going to scoff at what I'm about to say but-right now, you're not really mad at Ralph Roberts."

With a twitch, Adrian snapped at the therapist, "Are you kidding? I hate that, that bastard! He hurt my family, he hurt me! I'm glad he's dead. My only regret is that I didn't kill him!"

Bell calmly countered, "Adrian, in a twisted way, Ralph Roberts actually helped you. This traumatic event helped you realize how much you love Natalie and that you're not alone. It brought you closer to your friends and family. Yes Roberts physically and emotionally hurt you but, that's not what's motivating your intense rage."

With Natalie firmly holding his shoulder, Adrian barely remained seated. He sarcastically growled, "Really? How great_ you_ know my motivation."

Natalie gently hushed him and asked, "Dr. Bell, please continue."

The therapist nodded to Natalie then fixed Adrian with a sympathetic stare. "I believe you don't despise Roberts because of _what he did_, but because of how he made _you feel._ Roberts stirred up all your feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, thoughts you've recently suppressed because of your newly-established, highly-supportive relationship with Natalie. But deep down you believe that, no matter the circumstances, you're helpless, doomed to suffer and fail. It's not true, but your self-image has been distorted from years of abuse. You see yourself as weak and deserving misfortune - you've internalized all the derisive, humiliating experiences from your childhood."

Adrian shifted on the couch and snorted, "My childhood? Oh God, what a cliché!" He rolled his eyes and mocked, "Tell me about _your_ mother, Neven."

"Hold on, Adrian- give me a second." Dr. Bell picked the bag off the floor and withdrew a large book. With a resounding thud, he dropped it on the coffee table so Adrian could see the title- _Les Miserables._ Adrian glanced at the book and his face drained of color. Although Adrian hadn't seen the book in 45 years, it was apparent he recognized it.

Natalie's eyes went wide with concern for Adrian.

The therapist prodded, "It's just an old book, Adrian, but you look upset. Why?"

Adrian blankly shook his head and Dr. Bell continued, "I went to see Ambrose yesterday and we talked for hours. He even showed me family photo albums and gave me a detailed tour of the house. Anyway, Ambrose wanted me to give that book to you. He's deeply sorry that he deserted you and let you take his punishment. – Ambrose has decided to dismantle your father's office and make it into a study for himself. He's determined to stop living in the past. Are you?"

Adrian looked away, his jaw clenched, his trembling fingers laced together.

Natalie remained silent, anxiously watching Adrian's hands.

Dr. Bell leaned forward and tapped the book, "As we spoke, Ambrose admitted to the dysfunctional family dynamics when you were children. Ambrose confessed to frequently hiding and wanting to disappear. He was the lost child who stayed out of harm's way. You, Adrian, had more courage and, as such, had to be the responsible child and took on adult responsibilities. But simultaneously, someone in the family had to be the scapegoat and that fell on you as well."

Bell watched Adrian squirm on the sofa, his armor of denial was pierced. It was time to be blunt. Neven touched the book, pushing it towards Adrian. "_You_ took the blame, even when it wasn't your fault. And why not? _You_ could never do or say the right thing anyway- your father belittled you and invalidated your feelings and your mother was passive and unsupportive, allowing the abuse. You were a victim-"

Adrian jumped to his feet and grabbed the book off the table, his hands shaking, "This is, is-" Throwing the book across the room, Adrian shouted, "The past means nothing!" He stormed across the room and yanked open the front door. Natalie shot from her seat but Dr. Bell blocked her way, holding her back.

"Adrian, stop!" Dr. Bell sharply commanded and Adrian hesitated, his hand frozen on the doorknob. Adrian shifted his shoulder and stared off into the distance. Neven softened his voice, "Adrian, you need to accept that you can't make everything right, some things _are_ out of your control. You _were_ the victim of grave injustices- at the hands of Ralph Roberts and your parents. That doesn't mean you're a failure or weak. But you have to stop denying why you're suffering. You can't conquer your demons if you won't face them."

Adrian met Neven's eyes and snapped, "There's nothing to face." He slammed the door behind him. Natalie attempted to push past Dr. Bell but the therapist grabbed her arm.

Dr. Bell reassured her, "Let him go, Natalie. Adrian needs time alone to think. I know he's overwhelmed and upset but, after he walks off his anger, he'll be back. I promise this confrontation was necessary." He released her and sat back down. "Let's continue our session, Natalie. You'll need to be prepared for when Adrian comes home."

* * *

Thanks to Dr. Bell, the trauma suffered at the hands of Ralph Roberts was now snarled together with a fresh reminder of his nightmarish childhood. Although he could never forget anything, Adrian had spent his life trying to avoid thinking about the past, dancing around it in therapy sessions, hoping it might fade into a shapeless shadow. Trudy had not only been his first love, she had helped put the past behind him and had given him a sense of belonging. When she died, he lost the only good thing in his life and the painful memories returned stronger than ever. With Natalie, Adrian had been given a second chance at happiness and, at ignoring the past. But Dr. Bell had snapped Adrian out of the haze of denial. Every hurtful blow, both physical and emotional, was again razor-sharp.

Fueled by an unfocused rage, Adrian walked mile after mile, hour after hour, not seeing where he was going, not caring where he ended up. By the time night fell, he found himself walking through the Trudy Monk Memorial Park. Even the memory of Trudy didn't soothe him. Still furious, Adrian had no intention of sitting down and resting.

But then Adrian saw a familiar silhouette perched on a bench. The figure waved and stood up but held his position. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Adrian grudgingly approached, "What are you doing here?"

Randy's face was creased with worry. "Checking on you. Are you okay? -I just go back from Jersey this afternoon and when I checked in with the Captain, he told me what had happened. I talked to Natalie and she said you were out taking a walk. How are you, Adrian?" His voice wavering as he said Adrian's name, Randy fidgeted and clasped his hands together.

Noticing Randy's unabashed concern, Adrian felt his anger subside. His energy left him as well and he dropped heavily on to the bench. Adrian was too tired to appreciate that this was the first time Randy had called him by his first name. "I'm, you know-" He honestly didn't know how he was. Exhausted from walking and thinking, he was almost too tired to speak. Adrian changed the subject, "How was the trip? Get a new job yet?"

Carefully taking a seat on the bench beside Adrian, Randy snickered, "l did get a job- it starts in two weeks. So I'm back here to pack up my apartment, spend a few days with my mom and help the Captain out by working on my unresolved cases.- I, ah, I called Sharona after the Captain filled me in and she wants to come back out to see you."

"That's not necessary, Randy, I'm fine. Please call Sharona and tell her I'll call her in the next few days, okay?"

"Sure thing." Randy snuck a look at Adrian, "But if you're fine, why are you aimlessly roaming the streets at night?"

Adrian met Randy's intense gaze. The young lieutenant really was a great cop. Randy could turn a friendly conversation into an interrogation without a person noticing.

Adrian felt the need to answer. "I had a session with Dr. Bell."

"And?"

Adrian murmured, "He dredged up the past."

"The past?" Randy asked in a soothing voice, "and?"

"And, I-" Adrian's heart began to race and his voice was suddenly thick, "I don't know."

"Yeah, I feel that way too, sometimes. About the past, I mean. I, umh-" Silence overtook them as they both stared blankly at the ground. Randy eventually shifted his feet and cleared his throat, "My father was an alcoholic, did you know that?"

"I didn't know Randy. I'm sorry." An empathetic sadness filled Adrian's heart.

"No it's alright. Well, it's not alright, but it's just _how it was_. When I was growing up, I didn't pity myself. It was just my life. _Normal_, you know?" The two men nodded in unison at a shared understanding. Randy continued, "Though it wasn't _that _dire, I mean, Dad wasn't a mean drunk, he just _wasn't there._ -Anyway, when I was fifteen I started drinking, I guess 'cause_ I_ thought it was normal. When my mom found out, she enrolled me in program run by the local police department."

"Like the 'Buddies in Blue' program you volunteer with?" Adrian asked.

Randy became animated, eyes shining, "Pretty much, yeah. Sgt. Flynn was my mentor and boy, he set me straight! He put me to work at the station house, he took me on ride-alongs and he even brought me to an AA meeting. It really woke me up to what life could be. Sgt. Flynn gave me direction and made me want to be a cop. - Do you know the most important thing he taught me?"

Adrian gave an imperceptible head shake, telling Randy to continue.

"I learned that it's alright to be fallible. You can make a wrong turn in life but then you can stop and change direction. Mistakes, whether your own or someone else's, are a part of life. You don't have to let your past dictate your future."

"You make it sound so easy, Randy." Murmured quietly, Adrian hunched forward on the bench and looked away.

"I know it's not easy. But it's less tough when you have people who love and support you." Randy lightly touched Adrian's arm and stood up, "Speaking of which, I'm sure Natalie's worried about you. Why don't you let me give you a ride home?"

With a nod, Adrian pushed himself off the bench and followed Randy to the car. Adrian couldn't erase the past but he hoped that, with Natalie's help, he would no longer be its victim.

Hearing the front doorknob turn, Natalie's heart fluttered madly and she hurried to the foyer. She had been waiting for hours, pacing the living room, sick with worry. Although Dr. Bell had said it was necessary, Natalie swore to never again let Adrian run off and suffer alone. And now he was standing before her, tired and forlorn, his red, swollen eyes betraying his grieving heart. During a consoling, heartfelt embrace they vowed their support for each other. They were ready for the long night ahead.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Unable to stifle her tears, Natalie sat sobbing while Adrian held and comforted her. She knew this was wrong; she had sworn to be there for him, to be strong, to be _his_ rock. But after Adrian began sharing the burden of his past, Natalie crumbled. Having grown up in a reasonably normal, loving home, she was distraught and overcome. The narrative of his childhood was an endless litany of ridicule, disapproval, contempt and invalidation and Adrian was seemingly numb to the traumas. But Natalie was appalled by the cruelty and neglect. She collapsed under all the sorrow. Weeping against his chest, Natalie barely heard Adrian's next words.

"-So remember it was actually helpful that he only gave me that one walkie-talkie for Christmas. Otherwise I might not have prevented the theft of the Star of Bethlehem diamond."

Natalie pulled herself from his arms and wiped the tears for her face, revealing shock and outrage. "Adrian! Your fathe- no, I mean _Jack_, was_ never_ helpful. He was a sadistic bastard! He took the most wonderful day of the year and twisted it to torture you. Telling you that you only needed one walkie-talkie because you had no friends? My God, what a sick way to treat a child!"

Still shaking with anger, Natalie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Adrian had mentioned Christmas and Natalie suddenly remembered three Christmases ago, when Jack Monk had returned to San Francisco. The only reason Jack had contacted Adrian was because he had been arrested. _For punching a cop after a minor traffic violation._ Natalie solemnly whispered, "I'm so sorry I insisted you spend time with him."

Adrian shrugged, "It wasn't completely horrible." His chuckled quietly, "Jack did finally teach me how to ride a bike."

A fleeting smile crossed Natalie's lips as she imagined Adrian riding a bicycle, free of inhibitions and enjoying an innocent rite of childhood. But after a moment, her grin transformed into a scowl. Adrian should have enjoyed that experience forty years ago. There was so much Adrian had missed out on and it was all because of Jack's selfishness and cruelty. Natalie asserted, "That doesn't pardon his sins, Adrian." His smirk fell away.

Seeing his crestfallen expression, she was incredulous. "Did that road-trip persuade you to_ forgive_ him? After how he treated you?"

"Not forgive, but maybe I understand why he's the way he is- I never met his father, my grandfather, but Jack told me a few harrowing stories. Jack didn't have it easy either." A melancholy look on his face, Adrian touched Natalie's cheek, wiping a stray tear away.

Natalie's eyes narrowed and she growled, "I don't care. There's no excuse for how he treated you. - _If _I ever meet Jack, he's gonna wish he was never born."

Adrian abruptly laughed and pulled her in for a hug, "That's my girl!"

Snuggling against his collarbone, she muttered, "Damn straight. No one messes with my man and gets away with it."

They fell silent, the worst was over. At least, that's what Natalie hoped. Remaining tucked against his shoulder, she remarked, "I hope you realize you're nothing like Jack. You broke the cycle of abuse. You've been a wonderful father to Julie and you were amazing with little Tommy Greason." Feeling him shudder, Natalie drew out of his embrace and took his hands. Meeting his pained eyes, she quietly ventured, "Is that why you and Trudy didn't have children? Were you afraid you wouldn't be a good father?"

Sorrow flooding his eyes, he hoarsely murmured, "That's the biggest regret of my life. She wanted children and I, I was afraid. I should have said yes."

"I'm so sorry, Adrian." Natalie offered somberly. Her regret was all she could offer. There was no remedy, no replacement for the children Adrian could have had with Trudy. After the briefest tinge of guilt, Natalie thought that, although Adrian had missed that opportunity with Trudy, they might have a chance. Natalie was well aware she might not be able to have a child but her heart was hopeful, her body strangely excited. She brought one of Adrian's hands to her face and kissed his palm. "What about now, with me? - I can't promise, but did you want to try?"

Before he spoke the words, his eyes, suddenly bright and joyous, divulged his answer. A smile came to his face, "Yes Natalie. With you and after everything I've gone through, I believe I'm ready."

Snuggling into his arms, Natalie snickered, "Just to warn you, we might have to try a lot."

He kissed the top of her head and chuckled, "Just tell me where and when."

Lapsing into another comfortable silence, Natalie was reluctant to disturb Adrian's pensive mood. She was convinced that, since he had confronted so many bad memories, the weight of the past was no longer crushing him.

But there was still a question unanswered from today's therapy session. She quietly asked, "Can you tell me what with that book?"

She felt his body stiffen and he took a deep, shaky breath. After letting it out, he asked, "Where is it?"

Natalie rose from his embrace and fetched it from deep within a cupboard drawer. She had purposefully hidden it away, unsure if he had wanted to see it again. Carrying it across the room, Natalie met Adrian's gaze, "I'm afraid the spine is broken." She carefully placed it on the coffee table in front of Adrian then returned to her seat beside him.

With her hand resting against his lower back, Natalie waited.

Eyes on the novel, in a trance, Adrian leaned forward and reached out. His hand hovered over the tome, the leather cover well oiled and lush, the title gorgeously scripted in pure gold-leaf. He knew the pages within were thick, hand cut; it wasn't a first edition, but it was old and had a history. With the delicate type-face stark and clear against the pristine paper, it was a beautiful book, _it had been perfect_. Until today, it had been well-cared for and protected- first by Jack and then by Ambrose. The irony not lost on Adrian.

Lowering his hand, allowing himself to touch the book, he traced his fingers along the broken spine. His voice faltering, Adrian murmured, "The child was not afraid*."

Natalie studied his down-turned face and her heart skipped a beat. She whispered, "What does that mean?"

"It's a quote from the book- a stranger, a redeemed criminal, comes from nowhere and saves a child from a life of abuse." Adrian's voice turned and shifted, seemingly younger, suddenly breathless, "It was 3:15 PM, Friday, April 25, 1965-"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

_Early spring, still too cool to have the windows open, the house silent, oppressive, cut off from the outside world. It was after school and Dad wasn't due home for at least two hours. I was downstairs, the dining room needed cleaning while Ambrose had just finished cleaning the kitchen and had gone upstairs to read the book from Dad's office. Ambrose was breaking the rules but he couldn't stop himself, so he made me promise not to tell. It had been going on for months and I never told- for once Ambrose and I shared something, a powerful secret. But with a loud bang the front door opened. Dad was home- he was never early- I had to warn Ambrose. I ran up the staircase but I stumbled half way up, my hands falling onto the dirty steps. Dad heard me and yelled, but I didn't stop and he chased me, his feet thudding on the wooden treads-the staircase was endless and steep and I had to reach Ambrose, but Dad was so much bigger and faster. I heard his steps thundering behind me, his shadow darkened my path, his voice a roar. I couldn't answer him, I couldn't tell him our secret. I somehow got to Ambrose's room first and pulled the book from his hand. He looked behind me, over my head, and then was gone and I turned and Dad was there and I had the book in my hand and his eyes were black, unforgiving and hard and his words were loud and jumbled, suddenly foreign to my ear. Then the book was out of my hands but his hand was above me, coming closer and closer. It was an eternity of waiting, it couldn't really be happening, and then there was a sharp, blinding sting and I was on the floor. I tried to shrink away but his hand was then clamped on my wrist, pulling me up, dragging me down the hallway, yanking me to his office, throwing me against the wall, yelling 'stay there'. I knew I couldn't run, I had to watch him place the book gently back on the shelf and then he was towering over me, questions I couldn't answer, his hand coming out of nowhere, the stinging blackness, his hand yanking me off the floor again. Until everything went dark._

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Propped up on her elbow, tucked along his side as they lay on the couch, Natalie gazed at Adrian's sleepy face. He had taken her through the darkness of his life and now he rested peacefully, the stress that normally etched his face gone. She was honored that he had trusted her completely and shared his history, laying bare his wounded heart. - This was an unmatched intimacy that Natalie would protect and cherish. Natalie touched his face, her fingers soft against his five o'clock shadow. She came from her reverie when a smile suddenly crossed his lips. Seeing he was awake, she whispered, "You want to go upstairs? You'll be more comfortable."

His eyes slipped open and he groaned, "True, but here's the thing. It's too noisy upstairs. Your father snores like a freight train."

Natalie giggled, "Actually, that's Mom." Her body still trembling with laughter, she snuck a quick kiss then snuggled down against Adrian's uninjured shoulder. With his arm draped protectively around her back, they both closed their eyes.

The night that had been filled with shared tears and unexpected and inappropriate laughter was finally over. The ties that had choked Adrian's heart were severed, the past almost gone. And soon, Adrian and Natalie would find their future.

There was just one more demon for Adrian to face.

* * *

*From Book three of 'Cosette' –Valjean arrives to save Cosette from servitude.


	23. 23 Tomorrow's Dream

Chapter 23 Tomorrow's Dream (& Today's Reality)

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: No warnings, the chapter's title says it all.

Thanks so very much for the lovely reviews and PMs. The power of a few kind words is amazing...

* * *

This morning was already off to a bad start and Natalie hadn't even gotten up yet. She could have sworn that, instead of nestled beside Adrian on the living room couch, they were aboard a sailboat, the waves relentlessly rocking back and forth. Seasickness rippled through her body, ebbing slightly before rising again. Opening her eyes, Natalie lifted her head in hopes that it had been an incredibly vivid dream. But no, the queasiness remained. She was definitely sick.

Natalie groaned and propped herself up on her elbow. Adrian shifted towards her in response to her movement and Natalie froze, not wanting to disturb him. Last night's talk had gone into the early hours and he needed this sleep. She gently stroked his chest and quietly whispered, "Go back to sleep, love." His face serene, he mumbled unintelligibly and snuggled against the pillow, falling back into his dreams. Twisting her body, Natalie reached over Adrian and gingerly climbed from the couch. As she stood upright, the nausea was overpowering. With a hand over her mouth, she lurched to the downstairs bathroom, her mind racing and stomach churning.

Natalie closed the bathroom door and had barely enough time to lift the lid of the commode. She leaned over and gagged but nothing came up. Natalie felt woozy and weak, her thoughts muddled. Could it be food poisoning? But Adrian had looked perfectly healthy and they had eaten the same foods yesterday. She sank to the floor and closed her eyes, praying the nausea would pass. After several more dry-heaves, tears overwhelmed her. What was making her sick? She clamored to her feet and went to the sink. After washing her face with cold water, Natalie sat on the lip of the claw-foot tub and pressed a towel against her cheeks. She felt horrible, terrible. This was worse that when she had accidentally ingested the voodoo spell concoction.

She hunched forward and gripped her stomach, her forehead inches from her knees. What was wrong with her? She knew it probably wasn't food poisoning- so maybe it was the flu? Or if it wasn't the flu, maybe-she sprang upright. "OH God!" Natalie brought her hand to her open mouth, dumbfounded, suddenly positive to what the nausea meant. Even though it had been nineteen years ago, this symptom was unforgettable.

Natalie found a washcloth and, after wetting it with cold water, pressed it to her forehead. Her mind was frantic. She tried to remember her last period. Her cycle had been irregular for the last year or so and so she couldn't remember. But anyway, how could she be pregnant? From her past difficulty with having Julie, Natalie had assumed it would be near impossible, that it would take forever, that they would almost certainly need a fertility doctor's help. They hadn't been trying or- Oh God, Adrian will panic-they weren't even married yet!

Grabbing onto the sink, Natalie pulled herself up and studied her reflection in the mirror, hoping, praying her intuition was correct. To make sure, she needed to get a home pregnancy test as soon as possible. Until then, Natalie decided not to tell Adrian of her suspicion- he had been through so much emotional turmoil in the past few weeks. Although he would undoubtedly be ecstatic, Natalie knew the stress of waiting to find out would be unbearable. It was better to spare him this worry and just tell him when she was positive. '_Positive she was positive!_'

Natalie suddenly laughed, excitement taking over her body. Natalie slid her hands under her shirt's hem and rested them on her stomach, imagining a warmth radiating from deep within. The anticipation was exhilarating, making her whole body tingle.

"Calm down, Natalie!" She chided, her voice surprisingly loud in the tiny bathroom. She knew if she continued with her giddiness, Adrian would notice and start to ask questions. Today was going to be an odd struggled between her ability to keep this a secret and his natural detective skills. Resolving to act 'normal', Natalie removed her hands from her still-flat belly and looked at her face in the mirror. She sighed at her tired appearance. At least a radiant glow wouldn't give her away her condition.

After applying a touch of makeup to camouflage her paleness, Natalie crept into the quiet kitchen. She was thankful her parents hadn't come downstairs yet; but with today being their day in court, they would be down soon. Natalie was still nauseous but remembered the home remedy that had worked before. - Munching on a Saltine cracker, she poured some soda into a coffee cup and stirred it, making it flat. After a few sips and a few more crackers, Natalie was feeling much better.

After rinsing her cup out in the sink, Natalie returned to the living room. She sat on the coffee table and studied Adrian as he slept. Although rumpled and unshaven, a tranquil expression softened his face. Natalie's breathe caught in her lungs. This sweet, guileless man was the father of their unborn child.

Placing her hand atop his, Natalie watched a shadow of a smile cross his face; she wondered if he could feel the happiness in her heart.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian was full of trepidation. He and Natalie were standing side-by-side in front of the house that had been the source of so much anguish. With his hand firmly gripping hers, Adrian reluctantly allowed Natalie to lead him up the steps and across the front porch. He remained hesitant but, with just a glance from Natalie, he felt reassured and safe. Not releasing her hand, he opened the front door and let her enter first. Natalie led him past the entranceway towards the kitchen and he held his breath, expecting the usual somber, oppressive silence. But instead there was a steady cacophony of noise; the patter of feet and the clink of glasses and boisterous laughter merging together into a pleasant hum. The house had never been so alive or joyous. Adrian blinked when he noticed bright, ephemeral spirits crowding the room. Julie and Natalie's parents, Ambrose, Leland and TK, Sharona and Randy, Dr. Bell, and others who moved too fast, their faces veiled and their identities a mystery. This was all too impossible. Adrian was sure he was dreaming. But even though it _was_ a crazy dream, he found it oddly comforting.

Natalie tugged Adrian forward and he glanced into the living room. He saw his parents sitting together on the couch while two tiny boys, he (!) and Ambrose, played together on the floor. Then the boys brushed past him, silent shafts of light running into the kitchen. Adrian turned to watch them but Natalie coaxed him onward, out to the backyard. Ambrose, now an adult, was outside and calmly mingling with the other guests. Clearly a party, Adrian wondered what they were celebrating. Natalie stopped suddenly, turned toward Adrian and put her hand on his chest. Her eyes were mischievous, sparkling.

"Stay right here, I have to get our gifts," She smiled and, in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

_Our gifts?_

A hand touched his shoulder and Adrian spun around, already knowing who it was. Tears came to his eyes, joyfulness and guilt mixing in his heart. He stammered, "Trudy, I-"

She beamed tenderly, "Adrian, I know, I've missed you too. AndI'm elated to see you're so happy- so you don't have to feel guilty. I told you all I wanted was for you to be happy. - Thank you for opening your heart to Natalie, she's good for you. She'll complete you in ways I never could and for that, I'm grateful."

Adrian, studying Trudy's face while she spoke, jumped when he heard a man's voice in his ear.

"I'm grateful too. I'd been worried about my girls."

Adrian turned and found a handsome, sandy-haired man standing at his side. With an amused expression, the young man stuck out his hand, "I'm Mitch Teeger by the way." In a daze, Adrian automatically reached out his hand and Mitch good-naturedly clasped his free hand atop their joined hands, "I knew you wouldn't be afraid of me or my germs!"

A faint smile came to Adrian's face. There was so much to say but he didn't know where to start. But as Mitch continued to maintain a firm grasp of his hand, Adrian understood. Mitch had given his blessing.

"Adrian, you need to go to Natalie now." Trudy touched his shoulder and pointed off into the crowded backyard.

Adrian released Mitch's hand and scanned the crowd. Among the ghosts of the past and all their friends and family from the present, Adrian caught a quick glimpse of Natalie, her golden hair shimmering in the sunlight. He turned to say goodbye to Trudy and Mitch, but they had already faded away. Adrian suddenly felt unbalance, something was different. He looked down at his left hand and was surprised to find a wedding ring on his finger. But it wasn't the gold ring he had worn to signify his love for Trudy. This ring was platinum with intersecting circles etched in a continuous pattern. Although he looked closely, he couldn't find the beginning or end in the ring's design. Adrian absentmindedly began to twist it around his finger when he heard Natalie call his name. He walked toward her voice and the crowd vanished from around Natalie. She was alone, her back to him. Another step forward and he was at her side. Natalie turned, her face glowing, and in her arms –

Adrian swallowed hard. Those blue eyes were captivating; perfect and joyful and full of unconditional love. Her eyes took his breath away. The small arms reached up for him and a gleeful coo escaped her flawless pink lips. Natalie released the tiny toddler into Adrian's care. She was feather light in his arms as she playfully bounced and pulled at his shirt button. He was utterly enthralled. Natalie stepped back a step and cleared her throat and Adrian reluctantly tore his eyes from the warm bundle squirming against his chest. Adrian followed Natalie's gaze as she lowered her eyes. He froze when he noticed her hands; they were stroking her very large belly. Adrian managed to stutter, "Natalie, you're pregnant?" After a hesitation, he added, "Again?"

Natalie laughed, "Adrian Monk, you really are the world's best detective!" She suddenly moved her hand lower on her belly and gasped, "I think your son is ready to meet his sister and dad."

He looked at Natalie as the words- _daughter _and _son_- turned slowly in his mind. His heart unfurled in his chest and Adrian couldn't breathe. He hadn't expected to know such an engulfing, uncontrollable love. A fierce devotion surged through his veins. He had never felt so elated or terrified in his life. But when Natalie put her hand to his face, he remembered -_this was just a dream._ And he didn't want it to end. Tears welled in his eyes and he prayed she would not say the words, that she would let him stay in this perfect moment. _Just one more minute, Natalie_. _Please, a few more seconds_. But her hand slid across his cheek and she spoke-

"Adrian, wake up. My folks are off to court in a few minutes." Her voice was far away and faint, but he couldn't resist. He had to return to reality. It broke his heart.

Tears escaped his eyes and he kissed his baby girl goodbye.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

"_Natalie?"_ Adrian opened his eyes and she was there, perched on the coffee table with an expectant grin on her face. He met her gaze and her smile grew, filling the ache that had threatened to drown him.

He pulled himself into a seated position on the couch, his heart fluttering. With his voice still thick with sleep, Adrian managed a husky "Good Morning."

Natalie slid off the coffee table and hopped onto the sofa beside Adrian. Running her hand up his back, she lightly massaged his left shoulder, "How'd you sleep-" She inadvertently added, "-baby?"

Adrian turned to Natalie, her words causing a storm of emotions. The images from his dream stirred in his chest, leaving Adrian shocked by her choice of words. She had never uttered that pet name before and it was strange, beguiling. He leaned his weight against her and tenderly asked, "Did you call me _baby_?"

"Did I?" Natalie turned red and nervously laughed. She slid her hand from his shoulder and took his hand, her expression mysterious and buoyant. They both heard steps on the staircase and Natalie jumped to her feet, still gripping Adrian's hand. She stammered, "I,_ ahh_, my parents are getting ready to leave for court. Maybe I'm a little excited. We'll, you know, finally have the house to ourselves again."

Adrian stood up as the Davenports came into view. Bobby was carrying their two suitcases and placed them next to the front door and Peggy stopped at the foot of the staircase, her hand resting on the newel post.

"Mom, Dad, ready for your day in court?" With a giddy laugh, Natalie led Adrian over to the foyer.

"You mean our day of acquittal?" Bobby peeked out the front door and waved to a large sedan parked at the curb. He addressed Peggy, "Our lawyer's here to pick us up."

Peggy touched Bobby's arm, "Say goodbye to the kids and take our bags down."

Taking Natalie in his arms, Bobby sighed, "Thanks for everything, princess."

Natalie smiled against his shoulder, "We're going to miss you Dad."

"Oh, you'll get over that pretty quickly I'm sure." Giving a slight squeeze, Bobby released Natalie and put his hand out to Adrian, "You saved us Adrian, thank you."

With a slight shoulder twitch, Adrian took Bobby's hand and cast a quick look at Natalie, "I should be thanking you."

Bobby pulled Adrian into an awkward, one-armed hug, "Be well, son." He then released Adrian, scooped up the luggage and hurried down to the waiting car.

Peggy had already hugged Natalie and now took her turn to gingerly embraced Adrian, "You're a good man, Adrian Monk. I'm glad you're marrying Natalie."

"Me too," Adrian answered, suddenly choked up when Peggy released him.

Natalie called one last farewell to her father, who was standing beside the car at the curb, but he didn't turn around. Natalie sighed and looked to Peggy, "He's as deaf as a post!"

Standing in the doorway, Peggy smirked and looked directly at daughter, "Natalie Jane- you two are _lucky_ Bobby is a hard of hearing-" Peggy leaned toward Natalie and lowered her voice, "Those _physical therapy_ sessions were getting a little loud." With a laugh and good-bye wave, Peggy rushed off to the waiting car.

Closing the front door, Natalie collapsed into a fit of giggles and, as the innuendo of Peggy's words sunk in, Adrian became lightheaded, shocked and stricken.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Sagging against the front door, Adrian was on the verge of fainting. He pressed his hand to his mouth, horrified. "Oh God! Natalie? Did Peggy really, you know, _hear us_?" Adrian couldn't breathe. Their intimate, private encounters had been so noisy, so rambunctious that Natalie's _mother_- he couldn't even finish the thought.

Natalie saw how upset Adrian was, and yet she was too overjoyed and giddy to share his embarrassment. Natalie shrugged and continued to snicker, _"Maybe_ we were just a tiny bit loud."

"A tiny bit loud?" Adrian shuffled to the couch and slumped down, burying his face in his hands. "Natalie- I can never, ever look your parents in the eye again."

"Calm down Adrian." Natalie sat across from him on the coffee table and placed her hands on his knees, "Mom was only teasing. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Not lifting his head, Adrian groaned in dismay, "Nat, your _mother_ knows, you know, that we, you know-"

Leaning forward, Natalie caressed the back of his head, "I hate to tell you this but Mom already knew. Weeks ago, she and I had an amazing talk. I told her we're, you know-" Natalie's voice warmed, "_very happy_ _together_."

"Natalie!" Adrian raised his head and shuddered, looking at her with horrified eyes. "Why would you tell her _that_?"

"Because she asked and it's true." Natalie laughed. Capturing his quivering hand, Natalie became serious, "Honestly Adrian, it's fine. We're adults who love each other and Mom wants us to be happy. She's not _judging us."_

At those words, Adrian's eyes glazed over. His heart seized tight as ghostly snippets of past conversations flooded his mind. Right before Ralph Roberts died, Roberts had yelled to the other man, '_You are not the judge of me._' Also, Dale said he _'wouldn't be so hasty to judge_,' and had also observed that Adrian '_sometimes overlooked the most obvious things_.' Add to that, Beiderbeck had prior knowledge of Roberts' scheme for revenge when he gleefully told Adrian- '_he lost his family_.' The puzzle was slowly falling into place. Dale was the puppet-master behind Ralph Roberts and, most likely, Dale was also in charge of the man who killed Roberts.

Hate fired trough Adrian's veins, his heart now galloping at an alarming rate. Beiderbeck had been toying with him all along.

But Adrian knew there was a vitally important clue still missing. Before confronting Dale, Adrian first needed to uncover the identity of the man who killed Roberts and, who had saved_ his_ life.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian's compulsions resurfaced with a vengeance. He couldn't help but lock Natalie from the bathroom and take a scalding, hour-long shower, brush his teeth for half an hour and shave twice. He then cleaned the bathroom spotless. But it still wasn't enough to ease his nerves or free his thoughts. Although he had strictly adhered all his previously calming routines, the suffocating sensation remained.

By the time Adrian entered the bedroom to get dressed, he was wild-eyed and frantic. His entire world felt unbalanced. Rifling through the closet for a pristine button-down shirt, he jumped after he turned and noticed Natalie sprawled across the carefully-made bed, sound asleep. Adrian ruefully acknowledged she must have been waiting a very long time. Anger and frustration engulfed him; he didn't have time for his compulsions. After quietly dressing in his one remaining brown suit, he approached the bed. Natalie seemed so peaceful he was loathe to wake her, but he needed her help.

Adrian hovered over the bed and gently shook Natalie awake, "Are you ready Nat?"

Opening her eyes, Natalie sat up, yawned and swung her feet to the floor, "I was ready over an hour ago. I showered in the guest bath, dressed, did my make-up and even had time for a cat-nap." She rose and took a step towards the doorway. She stopped and unwittingly sighed as he remained by the bed, smoothing out the comforter.

Adrian pulled at the blanket and snapped, "Is there a problem?"

"No. I thought you wanted to go somewhere." Natalie murmured apologetically.

"Natalie, I can't leave if this room is a disaster!" Adrian continued to fuss with the blanket.

Natalie reached down to smooth a ripple in the comforter but Adrian warned her off, growling, "Leave it alone, I'll fix it." Natalie retreated to the doorway and watched as Adrian finished with the blanket. He then stopped at the dresser and, in frustration, pressed the heel of his hand to his temples. Natalie had left a stack of three various-sized books on one end of the dresser. There was no way Adrian could fix this- symmetry was impossible. He immediately snatched the two photos from the dresser top, placed them on the end table, and then impulsively swept everything else to the floor.

"Adrian, what's gotten into you?" Natalie gasped and walked towards the mess.

The answer was just out of Adrian's reach. Shaking with frustration, he slammed his fists onto the empty bureau then hunched forward, curling into himself, "I need to go to the police station."

Rubbing his back, Natalie gently corrected him, "No Adrian-_ we_ need to go to the police station."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

The Captain looked up from his desk when he heard the rap on the door jam. Seeing his visitors, he pushed his chair back, concern darkening his face, "Natalie, Monk, what are you two doing here?"

Natalie looped her hand through Adrian's arm and escorted him into Leland's office. "We just had a meeting with the police sketch artist, Lt. Donovan. He did a rendering of the man who killed Roberts- he's running the sketch through Facial Recognition to see if we can get an ID." She glanced at Adrian before she continued, "While we're waiting, we would like to look through Ralph Roberts' case file."

Leland stood and rubbed his jaw, "Is that so?"

Adrian met his stare. "Captain… Leland, please. I know you're trying to protect me and that you don't think I'm ready to look at the file. - I am so sorry I hit you the other day, but I need to do this. I promise I'm ready."

"One hundred percent ready?"

"Yes Leland. I need to get some answers."

Sending Adrian and Natalie to the conference room, Leland fetched the box of evidence. He passed Randy's desk and stopped to fill him in. "Randy, I'll be down the hall with Monk and Natalie. Come to the conference room as soon as Donovan gets an ID on our mystery man."

"Captain, can I do anything to help?" Randy asked.

"No, just keep working on your cases. Since you'll be leaving for Jersey soon, I would like you to try and clear as many cases as possible- Thanks lieutenant." With a nod, the Captain went to meet Natalie and Adrian, He hoped letting his friend see the file was the right decision.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Leland remained silent and watched as Adrian took everything from the box of evidence and neatly organized it on the table. Leaving the crime scene photos for last, he first inspected the documents and reports. Adrian paused when he reached the note that had been addressed to Roberts and signed by '_DB_'. As Adrian read, the Captain chimed in, "That's_ not_ Dale Beiderbeck's handwriting. His name immediately came to mind and so I had it analyzed. I'm hoping our mystery man might have those very popular initials."

Adrian put the note aside, "I know Dale has to be the mastermind behind Roberts, but there's something we're missing. We need to find the 'big picture.'"

Natalie placed the note back in the box and noticed Adrian had started scrutinizing the crime scene photos. Graphic pictures showing pools of blood and instruments of torture. Natalie turned pale and looked away, nausea threatening.

Adrian was fully absorbed by the pictures but the Captain noticed her reaction. Leland went to her side and led her to a chair on the opposite side of the table. As she sat, Leland cleared his throat, "Hey Monk! I don't think Natalie needs to see those photos."

Adrian looked up and, seeing Natalie's horrified expression, went to her side. Kneeling next to her chair, he whispered, "I'm sorry Nat. Are you alright? Do you want to wait in the Captain's office?"

"I'll have Randy come get you." Leland offered. He reached over and picked up the phone, only to stop when Randy burst into the room. "How did you know, Randy?"

"I didn't know – you told me." Randy quickly replied.

"I told you?"

"Yes sir, at my desk. Don't you remember?"

The Captain slapped his hand to his forehead, "Randall! Why did you just come in here?"

Randy held out a thin manila file, "We got an ID on the guy!"

The Captain tore the file from Randy's hand, casting a glance of encouragement at Adrian.

Adrian stood and placed his hands on Natalie's shoulders. He held his breath.

Leland opened the file and laid the mug shot on the table in front of Natalie, "You both recognize this guy?"

Natalie nodded and Adrian confirmed, "That's the guy that killed Roberts. Who is he?"

The Captain began reading aloud. "The guy's name is Damien Beck. _Hmm,_ DB. He's got a few priors from years ago- simple assault seemed to be his MO. He's been clean for the past few years. But- _holy crow-_listen tothis_! _The last time Damien Beck was arrested, he was defended by a lawyer who is on retainer for _The Blue Danube Corporation_."

"Beck worked for Dale Beiderbeck." His voice unnaturally cold, Adrian shifted a shoulder and prodded the Captain to continue, "What else Leland?"

Scanning over the thin file, he shook his head in disappointment. "Not much else. Nothing recent, except for an unpaid parking ticket from last year."

Adrian reached out, "Let me see it."

Handing it over, Leland sighed, "Monk, it's over a year old. I'm sure the address on there is no longer valid."

"Maybe not, but let me see anyway." Scanning the ticket, Adrian paled. He dropped the paper on the table then reached for Natalie's hand, "We need to go. Now!"

As Adrian and Natalie rushed from the conference room, Randy turned to the Captain, "I don't get it. What's so important about a parking violation?"

Reading over the ticket several times, Leland finally gasped, "I don't believe it. This Damien Beck character drives a 1969 GTO!"

"So- what does that matter?"

"You're too young to know this, but a very popular '69 GTO was known as _The Judge_."

It took a moment then Randy's eyes flew wide open, "_The Judge_? As in _The Judge_, from Trudy?" Leland nodded his head but Randy sputtered, confused, "Wait, that makes no sense. How would Monk know anything about cars? He's, you know, _Monk."_

"He doesn't have to know anything about cars! Randy, Monk remembers every single thing he's ever seen. That particular car was very popular back in the day. Hell, my cousin had one. Chances are Monk saw a '69 GTO forty years ago and just now remembered the name plastered on the back of the car."

"So where did Monk and Natalie rush off to?"

"If Damien Beck works for Beiderbeck, there's only one place he'd go."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Navigating the car towards the prison, Natalie nervously watched Adrian out of the corner of her eye. He stared blankly at the horizon, his eyes black, hard stones. Since connecting Beiderbeck to Damien Beck_- The Judge_, Adrian entire body had been vibrating with rage, on the verge of erupting into a violent fit.

As the miles rolled past, Natalie asked Adrian several questions but was met with a foreboding silence. While she knew Roberts was connected to Dale, she didn't know what Adrian had gathered from Damien Beck's simple parking ticket. Feeling shut out and dismissed, Natalie's own anger began to build. She took her right hand off the steering wheel and, without thinking, pressed it against her stomach. It took all Natalie's willpower not to blurt out her secret.

When the prison came into view, she reached over and touched his cold hand, "Are you sure you need to do this?"

Adrian remained mute, his body rigid, hate filling his bones.

Parking the car in the shadow of the prison, Natalie quickly turned and grabbed hold of the buckle of his seatbelt. "Adrian, can I come with you?"

Adrian finally met her gaze and noticed the fear in her eyes. For an instant, love softened his heart. He was sorry he had allowed her to drive him here, grieved that he had caused her to worry. Resting his hand atop hers, he let out a ragged breath, "I need to go in alone and I need you to stay here and be safe." Unbuckling his seat belt, he leaned over and wrapped his arms round her. Just before letting her go, he whispered in her ear, "I love you Natalie- no matter what."

Releasing him, Natalie echoed, "I love you too."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Looking back on it, Adrian would realize he couldn't remember the mandatory pat-down search, the warden's warning to keep his anger in check, the walk down the familiar hallway between Warden Connors and a corrections officer, or the awaiting guard who placed a chair outside the occupied cell. No, Adrian's memory started when the fat man swung the wheelchair around to face him.

Dale had a smug grin on his face and his voice- it was cheerful and giddy. "Adrian Monk! I've been expecting you."

* * *

A/N: Grrr, with only two chapters left, Dale returns…


	24. 24 Take Me Home

Chapter 24 Take Me Home

Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Monk.

Notes: After connecting Damien Beck, _The Judge,_ with Dale Beiderbeck, Adrian goes to prison, ready to confront the man behind Trudy's murder.

A super long chapter but, LOL, there're lots of loose ends to tie up! Hope it all makes sense…

* * *

"Dale." Adrian spat out the vile name, his heart racing. It took all of the detective's self-control to stand stock-still outside the jail cell and make eye-contact with the felon. For the first time in his life, Adrian had no desire to unveil the perpetrator, to unravel the details of the crime and say '_Here's what happened._' No, he only wanted revenge. Pure fury coursed through his veins, fueling the horrific images that flashed in his mind_. Bludgeoning and beating Dale bloody with his bare hands, kicking and stomping Dale into an unrecognizable mess- _

Adrian closed his eyes and roughly rubbed his face, fighting to keep in control of his hatred. As much as he wanted to destroy the fat man, Adrian knew his fantasies could not become reality. The prison warden and two corrections officers stood beside him in the corridor while Dale remained locked in his cell, safe from Adrian's trembling hands and murderous wishes.

Dale smirked at Adrian, "I see you're back to your familiar brown suit, Adrian. Regressing back to your obsessive-compulsive ways?"

Adrian shifted his shoulder and a scowl crossed his face. He eventually choked out a hushed, "No."

"Well, let's see how you feel _after_ our talk!" Dale winked at Adrian then turned his attention to Warden Connors, "Unlock the cell door for the defective detective, _Boss._ I'm not talking if he remains out there in the hallway_."_

The warden quickly glanced at Adrian before replying, "Mr. Beiderbeck, to ensure your safety-"

"Screw my safety! Monk comes in here or no interview. He and I have private business to discuss-" Dale winked at Adrian, "You _can_ behave, can't you? Put the warden's worries to rest Adrian, convince him you'll play nice."

His heartbeat thundering in his ears, Adrian stepped away from Dale's cell and was followed by the warden. Attempting to appear calm and level-headed, Adrian laced his fingers together and let out a deep breath. "Warden Connors, I know you're reluctant to allow this-"

"Damn right I'm reluctant. The last time you _interviewed_ Beiderbeck you beat him to a pulp!"

"And I apologize for that, sir. But I need to speak with him, he-" Adrian heard the anger growing in his voice and consciously softened, "I promise I will not touch him. Please, I'm begging you."

Warden Connors stepped closer to Adrian, his gaze unwavering, "If Beiderbeck insists, I'll give you one chance, Mr. Monk. But under _my_ conditions. I understand you'll want some privacy, so my guards and I will stand several feet down the hallway and observe. And, since Beiderbeck poses little danger of escaping, I'm leaving the cell door open. -At the first hint of a problem, I will ask you to step outside and you_ will_ comply, understood?"

When Adrian nodded in agreement, the warden continued, "If you so much as raise a finger against him, I'll have my guard hit you with a taser and drag you from the cell. Do I make myself clear?" Again Adrian nodded. The warden raked his hand through his hair, "Off the record, I hate that insufferable bastard and wouldn't mind a little _prison justice, _God knows he deserves it. But it's my job to keep him safe and that's what I intend on doing, understood?"

"Yes sir." Adrian gulped, attempting to swallow his anger.

Warden Connors sighed, his face grim, "Mr. Monk, as a fellow law enforcement officer, I know you respect and abide by the law. We work _with_ the system and unfortunately, sometimes the guilty get away. But we don't take the law into our own hands, correct?"

His emotions at odds with his beliefs, Adrian nodded solemnly.

"Good man." The warden pulled a folded document from his pocket, crossed back to Dale's cell and handed it through the bars, "Mr. Beiderbeck, if you insist on Mr. Monk gaining full visitation privileges, I'll need you to sign this waver."

Dale snatched the paper and rolled his eyes, "Covering you ass, I see. Don't worry _pig,_ I'll sign. I'm sure Monk will heed your warning and behave like a gentleman." He quickly scrawled his name and passed the paper back to the warden. He then rolled his wheelchair backward and eagerly watched the guard unlock the cell.

After the door swung open, Dale benevolently called, "Welcome to my home once again, Detective Monk. Now what can I do for you?"

As Adrian entered the cell, he immediately pictured himself launching across the small space, knocking Dale from his chair, raising his fist and- Adrian stopped and stared down at his feet, praying gravity would hold him in place. For Trudy's sake, he was determined to keep himself in check. Adrian looked up after hearing Dale's chuckle. It was clear Dale wanted to boast about how he had finally outwitted Adrian.

"You're looking well, considering what you just went though with Father Ralph." Dale's voice was soft and emotional but his eyes were cold. When Adrian didn't respond, the fat man rolled his wheelchair closer. "Tsk, tsk, trying times indeed. How's_ our_ dear Ms. Teeger? Still _eager_?"

Adrian crossed his arms over his chest and held his fists tightly against his ribs. He ignored Dale's grin and managed to growl, "I know everything, Beiderbeck."

Dale raised an eyebrow, "You do? _Everything_? Well how special! I guess you truly_ are_ the best detective in the world, Adrian." He smirked, "Care to gloat and say _here's what happened_?"

Adrian shuddered, "You, you loathsome pile of inhumanity. You were behind Roberts' vendetta and Trudy's-" Adrian bowed his head down as his voice quivered and tears flooded his eyes. Violently brushing them away, he raised his head and fixed Dale with a menacing glare.

"Trudy's what?" Dale's eyes danced expectantly, "Say it, Monk."

Adrian was finally able to utter the words that had haunted him for twelve years. "You killed Trudy."

Dale slowly clapped his hands, "Congratulations, detective! Although I'm sure you don't have any proof nor am I confessing." Dale sighed in annoyance, "But I admit, I found it both puzzling and insulting that you never investigated me, _the most obvious suspect_. I mean, doesn't Police Procedure 101 tell you to suspect the person who willingly comes forward with information about a case? And who gave you your _only_ clue in Trudy's case? Oh, I believe I was the person who _graciously_ gave you Warrick Tennyson's name. What fond memories!"

Adrian's eyes darkened and Dale laughed smugly, "Tell me Adrian, were you expecting an actual Judge to be _The Guy_?" Dripping with sarcasm, Dale continued, "Oh that's rich! Would a Judge be so stupid to broadcast his profession when hiring a hit-man? Hmm, probably not! –You know why you never solved Trudy's case? Because you foolishly believe _every_ crime is riddled with complications and intrigue, plotted by unfeasible suspects with impossible timelines. Sometimes the simplest answer _is really the answer_."

Adrian loathed asking but needed to know, "Why Dale?"

Dale's face lit up and he shrugged, "Why? Oh, perhaps Trudy was a _vexation_, an _annoyance_, a _thorn i_n someone's side. -Can you imagine being relentlessly dogged by a nosey reporter? A self-righteous bitch who only cared about seeing her name in the by-line of a story. A-"

In two strides Adrian loomed above Dale, his fists trembling.

Warden Connors bellowed, "Step back Mr. Monk!" His guards stood ready to rush the cell.

Adrian opened his hands up but held his ground, his body visibly shuddering, "It's alright, warden."

Dale repeated in a sing-song voice, "Yes it's alright, warden, I _trust_ him. Adrian is a paradigm of restraint!" Dale smirked and lowered his voice, "If _only_ Trudy had trusted you this much, you could have saved her life!"

Dale's words ripped through Adrian's heart. "What do you mean?" he spat incredulously.

Dale rolled his wheelchair backward and chuckled maliciously, "Isn't it obvious, _detective_? Let's look at the facts, shall we? Trudy knew she was going to a dangerous meeting in that parking garage. All she had to do was ask her beloved husband, a cop, to protect her. Simple, yes? One would think so. But alas, the lady kept her rendezvous a secret. _Trudy was so unwilling to trust you_, she died alone-"

Adrian lunged at Dale, knocking him from the wheelchair. He managed to land several vicious blows before the guards entered the cell. Not heading the guard's command to stop, Adrian felt a searing pain jolt through his body. He cried in agony while his muscles spasmed and the breath choked from his lungs. He went limp, completely incapacitated.

"I warned you, Mr. Monk." The warden glumly shook his head as he watched the guards restrain Adrian. The first guard had discharged his taser and the second guard handcuffed the stunned detective's hands behind his back. They dragged Adrian from the cell and deposited him on the floor then returned to wrestle Dale back into his wheelchair.

Adrian lay trembling on the cold floor, unable to move his body. His mind raced – it dawned on Adrian that there might be tangible proof of Dale's guilt. He rolled onto his side and struggled to sit up. Out of the corner of his eye, Adrian saw Dale back in his wheelchair and the guard locking the cell door.

A pleased smile lit Dale's face, "Game over, Adrian."

"Shut up, Beiderbeck!" Warden Connors barked as he motioned for the guards to help Adrian from the floor.

The two guards stepped behind Adrian and grabbed hold of his restrained arms, pulling him to his feet. They kept a hold of Adrian, preventing him from approaching the cell bars.

Adrian barked at Dale, "I know _The Judge _is Damien Beck_- _he works for you, you bastard. I'll hunt him down and -"

"_Damien_? You mean the fool who saved your pitiful existence, sweet little Julie's young life and_ our_ dearest Natalie's honor? - I'm curious Monk, is Trudy's life worth more to you than Julie and Natalie's?"

Thinking of Damien Beck- _The Judge_- Adrian's thoughts scrambled between unrelenting hate and profound appreciation. Realizing Beck was just a distraction, Adrian attempted to concentrate on Dale, the mastermind behind everything. _Dale had committed these crimes._ Adrian choked back his hate and kept a tenuous hold on his belief in justice. He managed to stammer, "Beck will l testify _against you_- all your accomplices turn on you."

Dale laughed, "If _you _can find Beck, I mean, if you find him _alive_, I doubt he'd rat me out. Besides, what will that accomplish? Thanks to you, I'm already serving a life sentence-legally you can't do anything else to me. A trial would be meaningless. I mean, how many life-sentences can one man serve?"

The final crushing blow struck Adrian's heart. Dale was right. Even if he was prosecuted for Trudy's murder, Dale's life would remain unchanged. The justice system he had faithfully served his entire life was useless in avenging Trudy's murder. Adrian's world tipped out-of-balance.

Dale taunted, "I win, Detective Monk!"

Lost in blinding hatred, Adrian forgot his hands were cuffed behind his back. Rabid and wild-eyed, he rushed towards the locked cell and hit the bars with his shoulder, shouting threats and curses at the amused convict.

"What language, Mr. Monk!" Dale cackled.

Warden Connors snapped, "Shut it Dale! -Desist now Mr. Monk or my guards will subdue you!" The enraged detective flailed wildly against the guard's grip. The warden reluctantly ordered the guards to step back, "Hit him again with the taser."

After Adrian collapsed, the guards dragged him through the empty corridor towards the prison's entrance. The warden had Adrian locked in a holding cell then sent a guard to the parking lot to search for Natalie.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Parked near the back of the lot, Natalie watched with concern as a corrections officer from the prison walked the parking area, looking into parked cars. _Perhaps there was an escape?_ Natalie made sure her car was locked and waited, lowering her window when the guard reached her row, "Excuse me, what's going on?"

The guard approached, his hand resting on his sidearm, "Are you Natalie Teeger?" When she nodded and showed her ID, he informed her, "Mr. Monk needs your assistance." Natalie jumped from the car and the guard proceeded to recount everything that had occurred between Adrian and Dale.

As Natalie followed the guard toward the prison's entrance, she pulled out her cell phone and called Neven Bell. The therapist would meet them at his office.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Natalie gasped when she saw Adrian. Locked in a holding cell, he sat slumped on a cot, his head in his hands. At least they had taken the handcuffs off. The guard opened the cell and she rushed in and kneeled at his feet, "How are you, Adrian?"

Adrian looked up, lost, his eyes desolate.

Without his saying the words, she understood his despair. "I'm so sorry." Natalie took his hands and gently suggested, "How about we go see Dr. Bell?"

His eyes looking past her, Adrian murmured, "_He's the guy."_

"I know, honey. Let's get out of here." Natalie stood and coaxed him to his feet. Offering words of encouragement and understanding, she escorted him from the cell.

Warden Connors walked them to the exit and a reluctant apology spilled out, "I'm sorry my guards had to subdue you, Mr. Monk. But I gave you fair warning."

Adrian blankly met the warden's steady gaze, "You did. I was out of line. I apologize." He docilely followed Natalie out the door then stopped and turned back to Warden Connors, "Beiderbeck had Spyder Rudner murdered to lure me up here. He wanted to provoke me and taunt me about Trudy- it was all a game to him."

"Do you have proof?"

Adrian shook his head '_no_' and touched his chest, "The proof is in here." Adrian turned and followed Natalie to her car. It was time to see Dr. Bell.

* * *

Dr. Bell stood looking out his office window and anxiously watched Natalie park the car. She helped Adrian from the car and his slow and unresponsive movements caused the doctor to worry. After all the traumas Adrian had recently experienced, Neven hoped this incident with Dale was not the final straw to break Adrian's spirit.

"Come on in, Adrian." Stepping aside to let Natalie and Adrian entered his office, Neven felt a wave of relief. Although Adrian appeared lethargic, the therapist noticed his dark eyes shimmered with a rage. Intense anger was preferable to emptiness. Adrian hadn't given up.

Dr. Bell waited until Adrian took his seat before he addressed Natalie. "If it's alright with you, Natalie, I think Adrian and I should start the session alone. Would you mind waiting outside in the waiting room?"

A flash of concern passed over Natalie's face and she squeezed Adrian's shoulder, "Of course, whatever you suggest." She leaned over and softly kissed Adrian's cheek, "I'll be right outside, Adrian. I love you."

Adrian shifted in the chair and remained silent, his eyes burning.

Neven waited until Natalie exited the room before he took the chair opposite Adrian. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

Although Natalie was upset Dr. Bell had excluded her from the session, she realized this time alone was a gift. She left the waiting room and slipped off to the corner pharmacy. Natalie found herself in the family planning aisle, confused, her hand hovering along the shelf. She never realized there were so many choices for an early pregnancy test. Every one of the boxes promised an accuracy of 97 percent- _only 97_! Natalie chuckled to herself- Adrian would be shocked! Natalie chose one test at random and carried it to the cashier. After making her purchase, she impulsively ran back to the aisle and selected a second box_._ With an accuracy rate of _only_ 97 pecent, Natalie felt the need for a back-up test.

As she walked back to the office building, she opened one of the boxes and read the simple but explicit instructions- 'For accurate results, take test_ first thing _in the morning.' Her heart lurched- she had to wait until tomorrow morning. Natalie returned to Dr. Bell's quiet waiting room and paced. She was in for the longest day of her life.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

"What else, Adrian?" Dr. Bell sat and watched his patient frantically pace the room.

Adrian had just finished explaining how Beiderbeck orchestrated Trudy's murder and how Dale, Damien Beck and Ralph Roberts were interconnected. And, most disorienting to Adrian, how Damien Beck had been instrumental in Trudy's death but also was to thank for saving Natalie, Julie and himself. Dale had posed a question Adrian had consciously avoided until this moment- did he love Trudy more than Natalie and Julie? Adrian was overcome with guilt. He had always loved Trudy, he _would _always love Trudy. But he realized, lately, days and days would go by without the emptiness of missing Trudy. He had a life, a future, and it was with Natalie.

Lashing out, Adrian punched the wall, cracking the plaster. "Damn him!" he grimaced, cradling his smashed hand against his stomach. Adrian strode across the room, his body shaking with fury. "That bastard! I, I want Beiderbeck to suffer, Neven- I want him dead, destroyed, mutilated, tortured! But he'll never be convicted or punished for what he's done-legally, I mean." Adrian turned towards the office door, "I need to get back into the prison-"

Neven leapt to his feet and blocked Adrian's way, "And what? Take the law into your own hands? That's not you! Adrian, we both know you are _not_ a cold-blooded murderer. You're a noble, honorable man. You can't throw that away for the sake of vengeance."

"I can- I have to!" Adrian pushed past Neven and gave a fierce cry, "After what she did, I hate her!"

"After what _she_ did? _Who _do you hate?" Looking at Adrian's crazed eyes, a thunderbolt struck Dr. Bell. _Trudy!_

"Beiderbeck, who else? I hate Beiderbeck," Adrian hissed, his face contorted.

"No Adrian, you said you hated _her_ for what _she_ did." Adrian's face scrunched and he shook his head, denying his words. But Dr. Bell knew what he had heard. Forcing eye contact, he grabbed Adrian's arms and tried to hold him still. "You meant Trudy! Admit how you feel. You- _hate -_Trudy!"

Adrian froze and the color drained from his face. "I, I didn't mean that," he whispered, shaking his head, tears filling his eyes. He could never hate Trudy- _he didn't mean it._

"Why did you say it?" Dr. Bell's voice was soft, cajoling, "What did she do, Adrian?" Neven led Adrian over to his seat, "What did Trudy do?"

Adrian crumpled into his chair and began to hyperventilate, "Why didn't she trust me enough to ask for my help? I could have saved her-" Adrian lowered his head and sobbed, cowering from some unseen force.

Dr. Bell stood beside Adrian's chair and patted Adrian's back, offering comfort. "It's okay you're angry at Trudy."

Between gasps, Adrian pled desperately, "She didn't have to die!"

Dr. Bell quietly responded, "But she did. And that can't be changed." His hand resting on Adrian's shoulder, Neven waited until Adrian quieted before continuing, "Trudy made a fatal mistake and now you have to figure out how you're going to deal with it. You need to make a decision, Adrian. Are you going to let thoughts of revenge torment you and corrupt the good man you truly are? Or are you going to appreciate the life you've created, and the love you now have with Natalie?"

Adrian squirmed from under Dr. Bell's hand and lurched to his feet, "But I need to find Damien Beck- he might implicate Beiderbeck-"

"To what end, Adrian? Dale is already serving the maximum penalty allowed. And since you know he's guilty, Trudy's case is effectively closed, correct? I mean, every criminal is not charged with every crime they commit, right?"

Everything Dr. Bell said _was_ correct, and yet Adrian shook his head, "But-"

Neven interrupted, "But nothing! Why do _you_ need to find Damien Beck? I presume the police and FBI now have Beck on their Most Wanted List and are actively searching for him? Let them do their job."

_This was the FBI's job?_ Adrian twitched, "But I can find Beck-"

"Adrian stop! Listen to me for a minute." Dr. Bell sat in his chair and motioned for Adrian to sit as well, "Do you know what this situation reminds me of? That book that caused so much trouble between you, Ambrose and your father- _Les_ _Miserables._"

"What?" Adrian, distress robbing him of his strength, dropped into his chair and rubbed his brow in frustration, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that book tell the story of a redeemed criminal and the police inspector who obsessively pursued him? Did Damien Beck redeem himself when he saved your, Julie and Natalie's lives? I know Beck needs to be apprehended and punished for what he's done in the past, but why do _you_ need to do it? -Of course you remember what happened to the unrelenting Detective in that story. Do you want the same fate to befall you?"

Blinking back a flood of tears, Adrian rasped, "No. But I can't forget what Beck's done nor can I forgive him."

"Then forgive yourself Adrian. You've done everything possible to solve Trudy's murder. Her case is closed and Beiderbeck will never be a free man. You know what happened and you _can _move forward. - Release the remaining guilt and hatred from your heart. You deserve grace."

Bowing his head slowly, Adrian pressed his hands to his face, catching the tears that burned his cheeks. There was no neat, satisfying ending, no clichéd walk off into the sunset. But he had fulfilled his promise to Trudy, he finally knew what happened.

After all the struggles and heartache, after all the years of hatred, Adrian was unprepared for this moment. His quest was finally over.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

"Why are we going to your apartment, Adrian?" Natalie asked as she started her car. Although Adrian had reassured Natalie he was alright and would tell her everything when they got home, she was full of concern, "What's going on?"

"I just need to put something to rest," he answered solemnly as he placed his hand on her knee. "Trust me, Natalie." His mahogany eyes earnestly begged her indulgence.

"I do trust you." Natalie placed her hand atop his and focused on driving. It wasn't long before they were parked on Pine Street.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian unlocked the apartment and escorted Natalie into the living room. They hadn't been back since the infamous 'bugging' but, since the apartment had been fumigated and cleaned, it felt welcoming. Adrian, however, didn't notice his surroundings. His undivided attention was captured by the beautiful woman at his side. Taking her hand, tears brimmed in his eyes and a bittersweet smile crossed his lips, "Thank you, Natalie."

"For what?" Natalie's heart floundered, confused.

"For faithfully standing by me all these years. First as my friend and soon-" Adrian lightly kissed her forehead, "as my wife. I thank you for healing my heart." He released her hand and retrieved the box that contained Trudy's case file. He placed it on the desk then fetched Trudy's Christmas present from the bookshelf. After placing the small, foil-wrapped gift inside the larger box, Adrian took an indelible marker and methodically wrote 'CLOSED' on the side of the box.

Natalie lifted her eyes from the perfectly written word and scanned Adrian's face, "Are you sure?"

Adrian sighed, "In my heart, I know Dale had Trudy murdered and, although he won't be punished for that evilness, he won't ever be a free man. And the police will continue to search for clues and hunt down Damien Beck, and I pray they find him. But Dr. Bell was right, I need to release my hatred and recognize it's over. I'm finished chasing the past."

Natalie hesitated, "And you don't want to open Trudy's Christmas present?"

"No, I don't think so." Adrian sighed, full of regret, "I now know Trudy kept secrets from me and, while I know the Christmas gift isn't a big secret, it's a_ good_ secret. By not opening it, I'm keeping a happy memory of her. It just seems right." He shifted his shoulder, an unseen burden suddenly lifted.

"Like everything is _in balance_?" Natalie asked quietly.

"Exactly." Adrian stepped closer and entwined his fingers with Natalie's. Meeting her gaze, his eyes suddenly clouded with sadness, "Nat, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were second place to Trudy. I know I placed her on a pedestal and believed she was perfect. I was wrong- she wasn't perfect, no one is, and I -" A sudden smile darted across Adrian's face, "Natalie I need you to know that _you_ are the reason I get up every morning and, every night before I drift off, my last thoughts are of how much I love you."

Tears shimmering in Natalie's eyes, she raised her hand to cup his face, pulling him in for a soft kiss. "Good, that makes us even."

Their bodies shifting together, Adrian lightly caressed her back, pulling her close. Natalie nuzzled against his neck, eliciting a small sigh of contentment from his throat. Natalie sank into his warmth, his scent, and a heated ache flowing through her veins. Her lips parted and she trailed kisses up to the tender skin under his jaw while her fingers were drawn to the buttons on his jacket, sliding them free.

Adrian inhaled sharply and trapped her hands against his chest. He leaned back, his face flush, "Nat, I, I'm sorry, there's something else I need to do. Can you wait right here? " A mysterious glimmer lit his eyes.

"I'll be waiting," Natalie reluctantly smoothed the lapel of his jacket and sighed, "Just don't take too long."

"I'll be back in a minute." Adrian leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek and then he stepped away. He walked to the hallway and, to Natalie's puzzlement, he left the apartment.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Left alone in the living room, Natalie felt uneasy. Something was off, something didn't belong. She scanned the mantle, bookcase and desk and realized the source of her discomfort. There was a thin layer of dust covering everything! _Crap! _She couldn't believe Adrian hadn't commented on it when they came rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a duster and returned to the living room. Swiftly working her way around the room, she was determined to eliminate the offending particles before Adrian's return_. This dust better not spoil - _

"Nat, what are you doing?" Adrian paused at the living room's threshold.

Natalie jumped. She had been so focused on cleaning she hadn't heard his footsteps. She whirled to face him, hiding the duster behind her back, "Nothing! I just, I mean, I thought-" Her words faded away as he strode toward her, his eyes bright, a small grin on his lips - _he looks so happy! _

Touching her hip, Adrian's grin grew into a dazzling smile, "You thought you'd do a_ preemptive_ _cleaning_?" He slid his arm around her, tugging the duster from her hand and tossing it on the desk, "Thank you, but you can stop."

"But, it's _dusty_." Natalie cautiously said the 'd' word.

"I know it's _dusty_." His smile turned sheepish and he laced his fingers together behind her back, "I'll hire a cleaning crew to come in before next Friday."

Natalie draped her arms over his shoulders, clasping her hands behind his neck, "Why- what's happening next Friday?"

"It's moving day. I just told the building superintendent I'm breaking my lease." Adrian's smile widened, innocent of the super's motivation, "He offered to help me move- for free!"

Wonder stirred Natalie's heart, "You're giving up your apartment?"

"I don't need it anymore. I'll tell you everything in the car-" Adrian brought a hand to her face and lightly caressed her cheek, "Why don't we go home?"

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian unlocked the back door and stepped aside, letting Natalie enter the kitchen first. As she brushed past him, Natalie slid her hand down him arm and took his hand, leading him into the house. This simple little gesture caused his heart to skip a beat. This was the life Adrian had wistfully envisioned, so normal and domestic. The life he thought unobtainable, was here.

Still holding Adrian's hand, Natalie turned to face him, "I'm so glad we're finally home. I can't believe how much happened today. Thank you for telling me about your session with Dr. Bell." Stepping close, she laid her hand on his chest. A suggestive glint flashed in her eye and she played with a button on his shirt, "Was there _anything else_ you needed to do today, my future husband?"

Adrian's breath hitched as met her gaze. In her eyes was love and friendship, desire and need. "Yes," he whispered, wanting everything she offered. Guiding Natalie toward the stairs, Adrian hesitantly stopped when he noticed the answering machine. The red button impatiently blinked, demanding attention. Natalie looked at him and he reluctantly found his voice, "Nat, maybe it's important."

Natalie groaned, muttering under her breath, tension visible in her stance. Adrian took a step behind her and rested his hands on her hips, his warm breath tickling her neck.

They stared at the machine, the blinking light was insistent. _Push me now!_

Adrian finally broke the silence, "Maybe your parents, you know, got arrested again?"

Natalie snorted a laugh, "Heaven help them, because I won't!" The tension dispelled, she reached down and pressed the button, "Alright, let's hope it's nothing."

They relaxed in unison as the message began playing.

Julie was breathless and excited, "Mom, I tried your cell phone but couldn't reach you- maybe you forgot to charge it? Anyway, I wanted to let you know I'll be home _tomorrow morning,_ Mom. But first I'm stopping by_ grandma's_ house and she, I mean, I wanted to _give you a ring, Dad. _Alright_, _I hope you, umh, don't have any other _engagements _and _get_ _my message_! See you guys tomorrow. Love you! "

Natalie chuckled and leaned against Adrian, her head lolling back, resting against his shoulder. "Boy, she wasn't too obvious!"

Adrian stammered, "Obvious? What, what do you mean?" He dropped his hands and shifted his shoulder. He nervously looked around the room, sure that Natalie had deciphered Julie's thinly veiled message. Adrian felt a blush of panic heating his skin as Natalie turned to face him. This was the only secret Adrian would ever keep from Natalie and he feared it was about to be revealed. He stuttered, "I, I don't understand."

A smirk cracked Natalie's face, "Julie wants to make sure we're not, _umh,_ that we're home when she visits. You know, that we're not out shopping or something. But that's tomorrow-" She tilted her head, her impish smile quickly replaced by a blatant look of desire, "Tonight we have the house all to ourselves."

He raised his hand and cupped her face, slowly tracing his thumb along her bottom lip, teasing out a smile. Adrian's eyes narrowed, dark and possessive. Natalie's comment from earlier sprang to mind- she had said_ Baby_. He felt a sudden urge for a baby. Yes, tonight he would tell her. He was ready.

"Let's go upstairs." Taking her hand and leading her up to their bedroom, tonight Adrian vowed to celebrate Natalie, his life with her and the new hope he had for the future.

* * *

A/N: Next~ 'The Great Unknown,' the final chapter of our story.


	25. 25 The Great Unknown

Chapter 25 The Great Unknown

Standard disclaimer: don't own Monk.

Notes: *sniff, sniff* Last chapter- Freed from his troubled past, Adrian is ready to take his first step into the Great Unknown.

Thanks for reading and heartfelt appreciation to those who offered encouragement through reviews and PMs. This was a difficult story to write & I was thankful for the support.

A Very Special Thank You to Monkwriter for not only the critical eye in editing, but also for your talented mind and open heart~ xoxo

* * *

"_Adrian, I'm thrilled you're ready!"_

Natalie's giddy reply made Adrian startle and raise his head. "Nat?" he murmured, his voice husky from sleep. He turned and looked over to Natalie, nestled under the quilt. With her back to him, the contours of her body gently rose and fell with each breath. She was deep in slumber. He quickly realized her voice had been in his dream, a reminder of last night.

Gazing at his future wife, Adrian's thoughts stirred. It had been a lifetime since he felt such expectation and hope, an energy that roused his every fiber of his being. This morning, with Julie bringing the engagement ring from Peggy, he would formalize his proposal to Natalie. And, although highly unlikely, after last night perhaps their family had already begun to expand. That was an unknown that was beyond his control and, for once in his life, the unknown was wonderful. Adrian chuckled unexpectedly- his_ life_ was wonderful.

He fleetingly considered staying in their warm bed just to watch Natalie, curled up a sleepy bundle. But no, he had to get up. Even if he could curb the giddy laughter that threatened to leap from his chest, his thumping heartbeat, excited and crashing, would surely invade her dreams. Adrian slipped from the cozy warmth and retrieved boxers and a shirt from the dresser. He then opened the closet, cringing as the door squeaked upon opening. Selecting a pair of jeans, he forced himself to leave the squeaky door open. Tooth by tooth, he painstakingly raised the zipper on his pants, wincing at how each _click _seemed to ricochet across the room. When Natalie rolled over and mumbled incoherently, he stopped and held his breath. Daring not to move, Adrian waited until she settled peacefully under the blanket before padding barefoot from the bedroom.

Scampering down the stairs, he automatically entered the dark kitchen and hesitated with his hand on the light switch. Deciding to leave the light off, Adrian was drawn to the window across the room. He looked out into the backyard and rested his hands on the edge of the sink. He shivered slightly, the thin t-shirt not providing much warmth, his bare feet on the cold vinyl floor.

Looking out into the dark, silent pre-dawn, Adrian's thoughts returned to last night. He now wondered if he had missed something. After announcing his desire to make a baby, Natalie's reaction _had_ been as expected- enthusiastic and joyous and peppered with laughs and kisses. But had there been an unsaid message hidden in her flirty eyes and enigmatic smile? Last night it hadn't registered, Adrian had been too distracted by her tender kisses, her sure hands, and her accommodating body. But this morning his unconscious rumbled, telling him something magical had happened right before his eyes. Adrian trusted that today Natalie would tell him what he had missed. Until then, he would wait, his heart expectant.

Gazing at the inky shadows in the backyard, Adrian's hands rest idly on the rim of the sink. But it wasn't long before he felt a familiar urgency race to his fingertips. Flipping on the pendant light above the sink, he retrieved a can of cleanser from the cupboard and began to scrub the sink. Adrian snickered to himself- waiting would never come easy.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

The pink of dawn flooded the room, slowly rousing Natalie from her sleep. She languidly stretched, reaching across the bed for her man. Natalie's eyes sprang open and she felt a tinge of disappointment when her hands came up empty. Her attention was drawn to the open closet door and she vaguely remembered Adrian getting up. _Maybe he went running? Hmm, he'll come home all hot and- _Natalie sat up and unexpectedly groaned, morning sickness suddenly hitting her full force. With her desire completely extinguished, she was instantly grateful for Adrian's absence. He didn't need to see her in_ this_ condition. Natalie grumbled, '_glowing'_ was definitely a misused adjective describing expectant mothers in their first trimester.

Stumbling from the bed, Natalie gathered her clothes and the two early pregnancy tests from her purse and headed into the bathroom. Having already memorized the test's simple instructions, she looked at the clock, noted the time, and did what she needed to do. She then took a shower to clear her head. Natalie was dried and dressed in record time. The windows on the plastic sticks were still blank. No results yet.

Natalie sat on the edge of the tub as another wave of morning sickness brought sweat to her brow. Since her body was already telling her she was pregnant, this wait was interminable. _This wait would have tortured Adrian_. She scanned the bathroom, trying to keep her eyes off the test sticks. Focusing in on a spot on the floor, her mind drifted back to last night.

When Adrian declared he was ready for them to start trying to make a baby, Natalie was beside herself. Her secret swam to her lips, ready to spill forth. The only thing that kept her silent was the desire to spare him this eternal wait. _It was for his own good_, she repeated for the umpteenth time.

Yet this morning Natalie realized that her not sharing this was a heartbreaking mistake. They should have waited together, hands joined, perched side-by-side on the edge of the bathtub. She regretted denying him this experience. And, she regretted not having his support.

Her emotions sparred. Joy grappled with panic, certainty battled doubt. She stood and paced the small bathroom. Although Adrian had said he was ready to be a father, would he be ready _today_? This would be a lot for him to handle. It would have been so much easier if she and Adrian were already married and expecting this baby.

She looked at the clock, finally enough time had passed. Taking a deep breath, she rose to look at the test sticks. Picking one up, Natalie vowed this was the last secret she would keep from Adrian.

* * *

Shutting off the headlights, Julie parked her car in front of her grandparent's house and trotted to the front door. Even though it was barely seven in the morning, Julie had already phoned them, alerting them to her early arrival time. Throwing open the unlocked door, she excitedly called out, "Grandma, Grandpa, I'm here!"

"We're in the kitchen," Peggy's muffled voice answered.

Julie strode through the house and entered the cheerful kitchen. Peggy and Bobby were seated at the table, breakfast dishes covering the table. Creeping up behind Bobby, Julie hugged his shoulders, "Wow, you guys look right at home!"

"We _are_ home, princess!" Bobby laughed, kissing Julie's cheek.

"Thank God, _and _Adrian Monk, for that!" Peggy pulled out a chair, "Julie, sit and have breakfast with us."

Taking her seat, Julie drummed her fingers on the table, "Could I see the ring first? Please!"

Bobby smirked as Peggy reached behind her, plucking the box from the counter. Handing it over, Peggy snickered, "Julie, if the setting disturbs Adrian, please help him choose a new one."

Julie held her breath as she opened the box. Set in a platinum band, a large diamond was flanked first by sapphires and then smaller diamonds. It was delicate and elegant and flawless.

Julie slipped it on her finger and squealed, "It's beautiful! Why _wouldn't _Adrian like it?"

Peggy playfully rolled her eyes, "It has_ five_ stones, my dear!"

Leaving the ring on her finger, Julie began to fill her empty plate, "I'll see if I can persuade him to overlook that one _imperfection_. I know Mom will _love_ this ring."

Bobby looked off into the backyard, a wistful smile crossing his face.

Julie noticed and lightly touched his arm, "What is it, Grandpa?"

"Princess, I think that if Natalie loves that ring, Adrian won't need any persuading."

* * *

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian turned from the sink when he heard the patter of Natalie's feet on the stairs. "Good morning, Nat-" Dropping the sponge in the drain board, he stopped in mid sentence, "What do you have there?"

With a mysterious smile, Natalie placed a shoebox on the washing machine before approaching Adrian. She backed him against the counter, raising an eyebrow, "I'll tell you in a minute-" Kissing him softly on the lips, she playfully patted his stomach, "Stay here." Natalie turned and walked over to the cupboard, "First I need a nibble."

"A what?" Adrian remained leaning against the counter as instructed. He watched Natalie retrieve a box of crackers, her pale countenance suddenly evident. His stomach flipped, "Natalie, are you okay? You look tired, sick." She was in mid bite when he went to her and placed his hand on her forehead, "You feel a little warm."

Swallowing the cracker, Natalie smirked and slid away from him, "Just let me get a drink and I'll be fine." She fetched a bottle of soda and poured a glass. As she took a sip, she met Adrian's concerned gazed. Natalie flashed a timid grin, "Just one more minute and I'll tell you everything. Why don't you sit down?"

"Nat, what is it?" Panic sucked the air from his lungs and Adrian shuddered. It was always a bad sign when he was told to sit before receiving news.

"It's wonderful, I promise." She pulled a chair from the kitchen table and patted the seat, "Please sit down."

Adrian reluctantly sat, his eyes trained on Natalie's movements around the kitchen. She finished her drink, rinsed the glass in the sink and put the crackers away. With a sly, sideways glance, she retrieved the box she has placed on the washing machine.

Holding his gaze, Natalie approached and laughed nervously, "It seems we, umh, need to start planning our wedding. We've been given an early wedding present." She stood to the left of Adrian's chair and began to put the box on the table.

Adrian flinched and touched her arm, stopping her. "Nat, that's an old shoebox- you can't put that on the table. And it's a wedding present? In a_ shoebox_?" He cringed, wondering why Natalie seemed pleased with something that was obviously so wrong. He lamented, "It's _in_ a shoebox!"

"Trust me, I know you want _this_, Adrian." Natalie gingerly placed it on the table.

Shifting his shoulder, Adrian looked suspiciously at the box before raising his face to study Natalie's enigmatic expression_. _His heart skipped, "What is it?"

"Open it," Natalie softly cajoled, resting her right hand on the back of his neck.

Returning his focus to the box, Adrian hesitated a mere moment. He reached out, hand on the box, poised at the edge of an expanding and deepening future. Natalie's hand moved to his shoulder and gave a squeeze of encouragement. He carefully removed the box's lid and placed it on the table. Nestled in white tissue paper were two small objects. It took Adrian a second before he recognized what they were. He froze.

Natalie reverently picked them up and gently placed them on the box lid. She kissed the top of his head and murmured, "_Congratulations, Dad_."

Adrian stared at the test sticks, numb in disbelief. They each boldly proclaimed the same word - **Positive.** He forgot how to breathe. _Positive?_ The word's meaning finally hit him. An unbound joy slammed into his chest.

"Positive." He silently mouthed the word. Lightheaded and dizzy, he shifted toward Natalie and instinctively drew his arms around her legs and rested his cheek against her stomach. Natalie's finger threaded through his hair and Adrian closed his eyes, nuzzling against her warmth_. _Sliding his hand up under her shirt, he placed his palm against Natalie's flat belly. He imagined the child that was developing right under his touch. _His child._ Burying his face into her shirt, he let out a muffled sob- this baby already owned his heart.

"Adrian?" Natalie quietly ventured, "I think we're probably about five weeks along." She caressed the back of his head and he looked up at her, tears sparkling in his eyes.

Adrian stammered, "_Five weeks_? I, I don't understand."

Natalie stroked his face, wiping away an errant tear. "I only suspected yesterday- that's why I took the test this morning. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wanted to make sure." She unexpectedly sighed, her voice quiet, "I guess making a baby wasn't a tough as I told you it would be."

Adrian's mind was whirling, chaotic, trying to grasp the fact that Natalie was already _five_ weeks along. Sliding his hand to Natalie's hip, Adrian rose unsteadily, the ground shifting like quicksand under his feet. Last night he had been so sure, but today he felt all the familiar doubts return. _It was so sudden and they weren't married yet and, most importantly, what kind of father would he be? _Standing before Natalie, Adrian clasped her hand and searched her eyes, hoping her confidence would quell his sudden anxiety. But rather than surety, he saw a wisp of hesitation flickering in her eyes.

"Natalie?" His chest tightened as he inadvertently twitched his shoulder. This was really happening.

"What do you think?" Her voice trembled slightly.

Hearing the uncertainty in her question, Adrian felt as if he had been slapped. _Natalie was afraid of how he might react. _Sobered, he was frustrated by his momentary lapse of panic and silently berated himself. _This child, __**his**__ child, was a blessing. _He never realized love could be so inexhaustible but also so vulnerable. Adrian lightly touched her face, his thumb grazing her cheek. His voice was raw, husky, "Natalie, I love you."

"I love you too, but-" a wince shadowed Natalie's face, "I know this is so sudden and unexpected. Are you ready for this?"

Adrian gulped - this was his decisive moment. One wrong word could diminish her happiness. Would he be like his father Jack and put himself before his family? Would he let his worries overshadow this wondrous news? Or could he, once and for all, conquer his fears and be Natalie's stronghold? It was a simple 'yes or no' question. Was he a _man_ or _Monk? _

Adrian's heart, healed and unbound, was finally willing to lead him into the great unknown. "Yes, I'm ready," He murmured, as his hand drifted to her belly. "This is a blessing and the greatest gift imaginable. Thank you, Natalie."

"An_ early_ wedding gift," Natalie gave a flustered smile.

"We'll get married soon enough." Adrian radiated calm, "This was meant to happen now and I would never question her timing."

"_Her_?" Natalie exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She smirked, curious but visibly relieved, "You think we're having a girl?"

"I know we are." He lightly kissed her, lingering against her lips until she chuckled and leaned into his shoulder. Drawing his arms around her body, Adrian rested his chin atop her head. Closing his eyes, he replayed the images from his dream and envisioned his daughter's face. The inherited combination of Natalie and himself, she would be the perfect combination of her laughing blue eyes and his dark tousled curls. Letting out a happy sigh, Adrian silently vowed to always be there for his girls, to protect them, to care for them, to—

_Oh God!_Adrian's eyes shot open. He had to take care of Natalie! But he knew next to nothing about what a pregnant woman needed. His only exposure with this particular condition had been tenuous, with Karen Stottlemeyer, Leland's ex-wife. Adrian had tried to avoid Karen when she was _in the family way_, but, on the rare occasions he had interacted with her, Karen seemed tired and emotional.

Kissing her forehead, Adrian loosened his hold on Natalie, "Do you need to rest? Maybe you should sit down?" With one hand still on her back, Adrian pulled a chair away from the kitchen table.

Shaking her head, Natalie tugged at his shirt, "No, you sit first." He opened his mouth to insist but she placed her finger on his lips, silencing him, "Trust me. I'll sit down right after you take a seat."

Not wanting to argue, Adrian obediently sat. He was surprised when Natalie turned and suddenly eased into his lap. Snaking an arm over his shoulder, Natalie winked, "Told you I'd sit. You don't mind, do you?"

Enjoying the feel of her warmth and weight, he slyly smiled, "I don't mind." Wrapping one arm around her back, his other hand cradled her chin. A devastatingly fierce love gripped him. Leaning forward, he tilted his face and kissed her, soft and lingering. Heat rolled through his body and he kissing her again, slower, deeper, threading his fingers through her hair.

Shifting in his lap, Natalie broke the kiss, breathless, "We should take this upstairs."

She started to rise but Adrian's hands encircled her waist and held her in place. His eyes darted nervously, "No! Julie is coming by this morning, remember?" He cast a glance at the wall clock, it was almost eight o'clock. Fearing he would spill the secret, he bit his lip and continued to stare at the clock.

"I bet she hasn't left school yet." Nuzzling the tender flesh below his ear, Natalie seductively suggested, "I can call her and tell her _we're busy_."

"You can't!" Adrian squirmed away from her tempting lips. He glanced at her before averting his gaze.

"Why not?" Natalie leaned back and scrutinized his downturned eyes, "Adrian?" She cupped his face and turned it forward, but he wouldn't lift his eyes. Natalie coaxed, "Adrian, I know you're up to something. Tell me already. Please?"

Adrian raised his eyes and his resolve crumpled. "Julie's bringing your engagement ring."

"My engagement ring?" Natalie's face lit up and she giggled, "You really can't keep a secret, can you?"

Adrian gave a melancholy smile, "I don't want any secrets between us, Natalie."

Natalie sobered. Taking his hand, she kissed his palm then pressed it to her heart, "No secrets, ever- I promise." As he smiled, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, bringing him close.

Tracing his hands along her back, he snuggled against her collarbone and closed his eyes. After a moment of silence, he fidgeted, suddenly restless. He looked up, his face concerned, "Nat, could we go out this afternoon and get a few things? You know, to get ready for the baby?"

"Like diapers and baby wipes and a crib?"

"And a car seat and child-proof locks for the cabinets and safety gates for the staircases and -" His voice fading away, Adrian's eyes wandered to the ceiling as he tried to organize the lengthy list in his head.

"And drop by the bank and start a college fund?" Natalie laughed, loving his eagerness.

Adrian met her gaze, his eyes dizzy with excitement, "Yes! And, ah-"

"Hold on, Adrian." Natalie laid her hand on his chest, bringing him from his scattered thoughts. "It's a little early for those things. But listen, what if we get _you_ a few baby books to read? Some that detail what to expect and some that contain detailed lists of what items we need and when we need them? Would that help?"

Taking a deep breath, he sighed, "It would help. Thank you, Natalie." Adrian settled back in the chair. He blushed and gave a self-deprecating laugh, "I'm sorry for acting so, you know, '_me.'"_

"I would have you any other way," Natalie assured, her heart captivated by this complicated man.

Adrian's arms embraced her and she sank into him, curling in against his warmth. She sighed quietly, confident that Adrian Monk would be a wonderful, protective and loving father to their baby girl, just as he had been to Julie. Contentment and peace filled Natalie's heart as she felt the love of her life sigh with the same confidence.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

* * *

A/N: We're at the end, but not really, I guess. For Natalie and Adrian, the great unknown is just beginning…

Please let me know your thoughts on this story & also if you'd like to see anything special in future stories. Well, LOL, if you think I should keep writing! ~xoxo~ Happy holidays & be warm, ya'll!


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